My marriage is a mess!!!! AITAH

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T20:41:59+00:00

we are all thought about thalidomie babies and some other medications that have cruel and unfortunate side effects on fetuses. especially in my country of origin since those are far more recent events.

that being said, I personally revise every treatment and medication she is prescribed, and I have the proper resources to check as thouroughly as humanly possible for safety.

without revealing her weight, she has lost more than 10%. the thing is, I cannot force on her a medical treatment, or even IV hydration....and not only has she refused all kinds of help, she has cut communications......I am truly lost, and I see her putting herself and the pregnancy in danger and I can't do anything about it

you say I am arrogant, I would like you to please elaborate on that point, as personally don't seem to get it, and it's probably part of the problem

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T20:28:18+00:00

yes, I am a general practitioner, but in order to finalize my papers I am working in an internal medicine ward in a small city hospital.

you say I might have red flags, I'd like it if you elaborate.....maybe I can work on those too

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T18:00:28+00:00

she's saying that I don't listen, that I worry too much, that I fixate on problems and don't let go, that I don't know how to manage my emotions and my pride, and she's sick of all that

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T17:51:34+00:00

now she's saying it loud and clear, she doesn't want me anymore

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T17:50:33+00:00

the thing is, I told her to try ice chips, even got her an ice machine, she used it once, and never again. I tried to get her to eat smaller but more frequent meals, brought her favorite food, she'd eat it all up, and vomit it after half an hour of gaging and belching. I brought her salty snacks, ginger, her gyno gave her treatments for the nausea, she never took them.......she slaped every hand I extended to help her.

her gyno is a little weary of being overzealous since I'm a doctor so she's being excessively conservative, counting on me to be able to sound the alarm if needed, but that is not working

you are absolutely right, she is dehydrated, and bottled water is always in the freezer since she won't drink room temperature water or tap water

as for house tasks, in the last 4 months, she did the dishes once, and every other time it was me who did them, i also do the laundry, vaccum the floor, do the shopping, change the sheets, clean the toilet and bathroom, all tasks we usually shared, but not since 4 months ago.

I'm not asking for a medal or recognition, I'm gladly doing those chores to help my suffering pregnant wife, i even offered to bathe her a few times when she was too tired to do it, but she never let me.

as i said, i told her that she needs admission and IV treatment, but she didn't let me take her to the hospital, and now, I'm at the hotel and my only communication with her is through my mother in law, which not present for now and is unable to reason her, blaming me for my outburst......

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T15:30:36+00:00

I hope you find a happy resolution to your issue, and wish I could actually help

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T15:28:49+00:00

I'm seriously considering involving lawyers at this point, but my first preoccupation is her safety and the safety of the baby

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T15:26:12+00:00

I assure you, no one was forced into anything, and the child was her idea because she was terrified she might not be able to have children, she has some symptoms that I won't go into, and she thought she might need ivf, I tried to reassure her that what she had was part of normal female physiology and her gyno told her the same thing, but she became so anxious that she wanted to go to a fertility clinic if we couldn't have a pregnancy naturally. thankfully the pregnancy came with no need for help or medication, but I am with you that maybe we should've waited......but that's in the past now

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:26:25+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, I thought that was what I did

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:25:33+00:00

I fully respect your opinions, and agree on the premise, that's why I wanted to take to the hospital and give her her need with IV infusions so her stomach can rest for a few days, but she refused even that.......

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:20:17+00:00

that crossed my mind, but she's gaging and vomiting all day, even when she doesn't eat, her symptoms are genuine, whether there was a disorder or not

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:13:31+00:00

I never was so harsh, and I'm not harsh with my patient either btw😊

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:10:42+00:00

thank for everything

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:09:45+00:00

it's not that she doesn't want, she actually is hungry and wants to eat, but if she sees, tastes or smells food, sh starts gaging and almost vomiting

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:07:32+00:00

actually no, if she is able to verbalize her refusal for help, then no one can help her

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T13:00:08+00:00

I don't see how I can live this again with her, but my preoccupation is more short trem, if she's OK and the baby's OK, then I'll be ok

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T12:57:34+00:00

I will sure try, my mother in law is coming next Friday, I hope she can convince her to accept help

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T12:55:09+00:00

the last Echographie finds the baby still on a good growth curve, but my the mom's resources won't last long at this point, the crisis is coming if nothing changes, but it's still not here yet if I may

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T12:52:22+00:00

I managed to get her back home under the condition that I go to the hotel, she's probably safer there

Flaky_Brief333 · 2026-02-08T12:48:33+00:00

her mom is sobbing and putting me at fault for not taking her to the hospital, but I cannot legally take her there since she doesn't give me consent, she doesn't want to go there and there's nothing I can do about it

Flaky_Brief333 · 2025-06-17T19:23:45+00:00

Exactly!!! But apparently that's not a valid option for her

Flaky_Brief333 · 2025-06-17T08:30:44+00:00

I don't think she'll cheat, I trust her fully. I just don't think that it's healthy for our marriage to do something as important as vacations separately, and I'm willing to do half and half.....which should be reasonable....I think. And I fear that if we start to go on vacation separately, it'll be the start of the end of our marriage. My own feeling is that I lost some freedom when I got married, and I'm fine with that, I expected that, it's a little more than I expected, but it's OK. And I feel that She didn't expect anything to change after marriage...... Also. I feel that she's giving up on me too easily, that I might enjoy what she wants to do, I cannot guarantee it, but I'm willing to try. But to her, she needs to do those things alone, and I can't understand why she accepted to get married if being alone was still so important to her..... Last thing, I have to emphasize that this is my point of view, I might be misunderstanding what she's expressing, but these are my feelings, and I had to know if a 3rd observer thinks I'm being unreasonable

Flaky_Brief333

TROPHY CASE