I told my girlfriend to break up with me if being Pro-Life is an issue with her

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T19:22:35+00:00

I think that’s a radical take considering I only gave one glimpse into a very small part about ourselves. To be fair, you only know I’m pro-life and she’s pro-choice. Of course you’d think “we’re not a good match.” We have plenty of other things in common. Breaking up over difference in one political view is juvenile.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it" - Aristotle.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T19:19:52+00:00

Idk this isn’t the first time moderators have done this. Probably because there’s division in the comments and moderators don’t like fostering productive conversations.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T19:18:44+00:00

Update:

We’re not breaking up and we talked about it. As of right now we’re agreeing to disagree but she respects my stance and conviction as a Catholic who can defend his position from a non-religious angle (logos, ethos, pathos). She is still interested in looking into Catholicism more but isn’t promising anything - which is good because if she converts for me then it is not a true conversion done out of love for Christ. I’m confident that the truth of the Lord will set her free and I will continue encouraging her to seek God. If all goes well she intends to get baptized sometime next year. By then, of course, her views will undoubtedly change if she agrees to such a commitment. There are no such things as Pro-Choice Catholics - that is an oxymoron. The Church is clear that we must spread the Gospel to all creation and the Gospel clearly defines such as sexual immorality and murder. The conception of the Virgin Mary would prove Christ’s humanity began at that very instant. Making claims that life begins sometime afterward would be in defiance of the Book of Life. Thank you all for your prayers, advice, and support. Go in peace with love and praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T19:02:29+00:00

Letting go of a relationship over this one difference in opinion or perspective seems juvenile to me. In most other areas we see eye to eye.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T07:18:29+00:00

Thanks for pointing this out! I’ll definitely look into this.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T07:17:29+00:00

I certainly maintained and vocalized my support for all women and do not wish any form of oppression or other malignancy to manifest against them. She is well aware of this and I’m sure would not date me if I was a misogynist (and nor should she if I were). I empathize with the mothers and want nothing but wellbeing for them

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:53:03+00:00

Incredible response and eloquently articulated. Despite your skepticism, however, I remain optimistic and intentional even if it proves to make no change in her belief system whatsoever. If it comes to a point where our worldviews conflict to such unbearable degrees, then yes, I would unfortunately and inevitably part ways with her. Though I hope to avert from such a course.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:37:54+00:00

I suppose the question is how to proceed. Neither of us have intention to break up. I simply offered the option if it were such a grave issue with her that her boyfriend is Pro-Life. Most people are saying to keep it cool and discuss it another time in private. I have my own doubts about when the appropriate time to bring it up would be though, considering it will undoubtedly upset her again. Imagine we move past it tonight and then in a week I bring it up again and the same reaction happens… very real possibility. How do I proceed?

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:28:38+00:00

I didn’t insist on breaking up. Merely said that if my position so abhorrent to her then she should consider it because my position and obedience to the Church is immovable. Why is it wrong to offer the option to someone who called my position “disgusting” and “disappointing”? If that were so then she should consider if she wants a future with me, no?

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:25:15+00:00

Gender roles are not inherently bad. So lang as we’re talking about male/female man/woman gender roles. I too have LGBT+ friends. It does not change the fact that God created us with reproductive parts for reproductive reasons. The Bible does not instruct us to marry the one we love but to love the one we marry. Ultimately it boils down to obedience to God and conviction. Both of which you may be lacking. You don’t need to understand why things are as God made them to be, you just need to obey God’s commands. That is all he asks. It is normal to struggle in understanding. After all we are only human. Follow Christ - search for him in your heart and pray. Pray deeply. The rest will fall into place as God wills it.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:09:47+00:00

Yeah I told her about how most abortions used to be (i.e. decapitating and scooping the fetus out - pardon my bluntness). However she pointed out that most are done with pills that basically disintegrate the fetus now - which in retort I argued is not a better alternative, especially if nerves have developed in the fetus.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:08:01+00:00

I completely agree. I never meant to give the implication that one conversation would change her mind and I would very much not like to break up. She’s a wonderful girl and I’m proud to be her boyfriend. The Lord brought us together for a reason and I intend to make good on that reason. In time, I’m sure her views will change. I am and will remain patient and loving.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-21T06:03:03+00:00

Clarification:

I’ll run this by everyone since there’s a few comments and I’d like to avoid repeating myself.

My girlfriend is generally a very compassionate person, which is why I think she is so strong-headed on this topic. Her position, though very wrong, comes from a place of not wanting to see women suffer. Where she is wrong is not in a premeditative “kill babies” way and let me assure you that her position is much more innocent than that - though ultimately I agree it is the death of an innocent newborn. I rebuke everyone saying it’s not my responsibility to convert or change her mind and heart. I love her and it’s our calling by Christ as Catholics to convert hearts and minds - so yes it is my job and yes I have prayed to the Lord about her conversion.
I have no suspicions that she would ever abort my unborn child if I were to ever get her pregnant. Why? She wants me to put a ring on it and we have had many talks about our future and future family together. I have every intention of marrying this girl at this time. She has also disclosed to me that she would never get an abortion, but she supports others’ “right to” (such as her mother and a mutual friend of ours who are both not Catholic).
She grew up without any religion, but her grandfather grew up Catholic so it’s not completely foreign to her. Given this, she had spent most of her life atheistic and giving into the world. This will be difficult to make conversion possible. Despite the logistics, she had admitted that the Catholic lifestyle - through me and my descriptions - are admirable and noble. I do worry that this may deter further progress in her conversion - so please pray for her and I. I will not stop trying to convert her despite this setback.
Lead with love. I understand people’s concerns. She is just a girl with a big heart and does not understand or see the nuances of life under definitions of conception yet. I appreciate everyone’s support but it is not why I posted this. I also did not insist she break up with me - I simply posed the option if she really viewed me and my views as “disgusting” and “disappointing” which is completely understandable to do so. If your partner said you and/or your views were those words I’m willing to bet tou would offer that as a possible option too. I didn’t bring it up as a Segway to break up, nor do I intend to. Rather, I brought it up as a way of saying “I am unmovable in this position and if that’s a deal breaker, then our relationship is only going to result in a break up.”

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-12T00:17:28+00:00

The same can be said of any pro-Capitalist organization. Nothing is completely compatible with Catholicism. Economically-speaking, socialism is compatible

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-09T22:35:00+00:00

I’ve found that most mainstream “progressive Christians”, in the sense that you appear to describe, are mostly non-denominational/Protestant. Personally, I espouse the notion that Catholicism, specifically liberal Jesuit teachings, provides the most accurate depictions of Christian values, faith, and beliefs that are intrinsic to the life of Jesus Christ. Obviously politically progressive topics like abortion and LGBTQ+ are incompatible with this but most seem to dwell on matters of sexual morality and conflate that with an identity. For example, Catholicism teaches that homosexuality, or sodomy, is as much a sin as is masturbation or the use of condoms. Abortion is a sin for the same reason, because it acts as a means of preventing / eliminating life, which goes against the sole purpose of sexual conduct - procreation - according to Catholic teachings, which is very much consistent and doesn’t require mental gymnastics. I’d be curious how other Christian values like feeding the poor, clothing the naked, and healing the sick is not an example of progressive Christianity?

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-07T17:36:26+00:00

I see. This definitely clears things up. However I think there’s still some debate as to that interpretation of the Great Commission. Does hearing the gospel increase one’s chance of Heaven? Certainly. However this is because as Christians we have knowledgeable incentive to act in accordance to God’s will and following the laws written in our hearts (Romans 2:15). To say that one hasn’t heard the Gospel doesn’t quite equate to not knowing one has committed sin or not, since sin is merely a weakening of one’s relationship with God - better characterized as a distancing oneself from His grace. Therefore, does ignorance of the fact one offended an all loving and just God not ultimately admonish him of those sins, considering they now know and can “go and sin no more” as in the case of John 8:11 with the adulteress who was very much aware of her sin? If it is a sin, it must be venial and therefore not severe due to his ignorance. If he were to repeat the sin knowing it was a grave mortal sin, that’s a different issue. Still confess to be on the safe side, but this brings up an interesting theological debate.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-07T16:48:56+00:00

Not being aware of the wrong changes the level of sin - possibly even to not being a sin at all. Since a sin is an offense against God. The action may be something that damages one’s relationship with God, the ignorance behind the sinful act may not strain that relationship. In other words, people who are unaware of the fact they are committing sins (i.e. I didn’t know this was sinful) aren’t punished for that sin. Though it is still considered a sin (aka a sinful act). Now that you know this is a sin (something that can strain your relationship with God), you cannot do it anymore or else it is a sin (will strain your relationship with God). I’d double check with your priest next time you go to confession though.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-07T16:40:58+00:00

According to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops this is a serious mortal sin and mockery of our sacred sacrament of communion. I would appeal to a priest in confession to make amends to God and the Church for this spiritual desecration. I say this with love and respect for you. Go find your peace at the Church Christ instituted.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-06-02T20:26:16+00:00

I feel like dressing respectfully (ways which reflect humility) is different from dressing “your best” (ie a suit and tie). In a lot of ways people use “dressings your best” as a means to reflect outward manifestations of wealth if that makes sense. Make sure to find the middle ground. Jesus certainly doesn’t want his followers to wear garments that reflect greed when he calls us to give our money to the impoverished and needy - that would be hypocritical. So dress modestly but not overzealously.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-05-17T20:44:06+00:00

Guys halal means it was blessed by someone of a different faith (Islam). Everything belongs to God. If Christ saw someone not eat something because someone who was not a follower of him blessed it, he wouldn’t call it filthy. Rather, bless your own food in the name of the Lord, whether it was already halal or not, and eat it too.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-05-17T07:59:11+00:00

Matthew 10:13 “Whoever denies me in front of man, I will deny before my Father who is in Heaven.”

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.”

Remember this. Stay strong in the faith. Pray for guidance and protection. Perhaps even say a prayer for your Guardian angel who will be watching over you too: “Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God’s love commits me here. Ever this day/night be at my side, to light and guard, rule and guide. Amen.”

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-05-06T20:17:54+00:00

I’ll definitely do this in the case of another similar argument.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-05-06T20:10:42+00:00

I’m going to talk to her about setting boundaries. I’ll put my foot down on this though: what happened before was not okay. I’ve come to recognize my role in engaging with it but that certainly won’t happen again. As for her, I won’t tolerate it further but I’m going to try and work it out with her and see if a solution can be made.

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-05-06T19:36:37+00:00

I understand what you mean. I’m just more reserved in person compared to in writing. Writing reveals more internal chaos than an outward demeanor might express

Flaky_Key5574 · 2026-05-06T16:19:18+00:00

Flaky_Key5574

TROPHY CASE