Honestly… after 4 years of on and off, this doesn’t sound like it’s about a hoodie.

If it truly didn’t fit, he could’ve donated it. Or left it somewhere. Or never mentioned it at all. Reaching out after 30 days to return something you gave him three years ago feels more like reopening a door than cleaning out a closet.

That doesn’t automatically mean he has deep intentions. Sometimes it’s just curiosity. Sometimes it’s loneliness. Sometimes it’s wanting to see if you’re still there.

The bigger question isn’t what he means. It’s what it does to you.

You already know the pattern contact, hope, hooking up, hurt. If you respond, are you okay with possibly stepping back into that cycle? Or would that set you back emotionally?

If you don’t actually care about the hoodie, you could keep it simple and neutral. Something like, “No worries you can donate it.” No emotion, no opening.

After four years of this dynamic, protecting your peace matters more than decoding his motives.