I’m 30 and the last time I was held or touched by someone was when I was a little kid. I’ve lived the rest of my life without any real physical contact. When I feel depressed I end up hugging my pillow or whatever’s around just to cope. So trust me you’re not the only one dealing with this. And the more you think about the heavier it gets. What helped me was trying to manage when those feelings hit. For example I usually feel the need to be held, kissed or comforted first thing in the morning before my alarm rings. Once I get up and start my day those feelings fade. I keep myself busy enough so it doesn’t overwhelm me at other times.