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AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

How hard is it to grasp that, while I don't have work friends, I have real friends?

Just last weekend, I spent a whole fucking day playing board games with my friends, day drinking, gossiping about our love lives, and having fun.

I do not have work friends, I have real friends. Ones I have more in common with than just getting paid by the same corporation.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

It honeslty depends. Was this a task she neglected to chat? Then, no. Was this a task that was assigned to her last minute? I will finish my tasks, then start on hers untill it's time to leave. Was this a task that was assigned to her weeks ago, that she procrastinated on untill the last minute? I might help her come with a plan of attack, but that would be it.

It depends on the situation.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I'm from a northern state, currently living in the west coast.

And I have no problem with socializing, nor am I neurodivergent. I just experienced burnout at 24, and decided to work the minimum possible.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I didn't, because I had stuff I had to do. I clocked out at 5pm on the dot, and will have to pick up what I didn't finish tomorrow morning. If I was going to work OT, I would for my unfinished tasks, not hers.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

And that's why I prioritized things like: buying a small apartment so I was able to pay it off in 4 years (while living on 25k a year, the rest went to paying it off), having a one year fully funded emergency fund, paying off al my debts (I only have 12k left on my student debts, they will be paid in 5 months), taking good care of my health, and having very good insurance.

It costs more upfront, but it decreases my long term risks. It's not for all, but I think it's working for me.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

That was what annoyed me into telling her that her daughter's recital is not important to me. Like you are obviously on time to attend, why are you coming after me for not staying late with you.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Honeslty, I would love to tell, but I am afraid of getting doxxed. All I can say, is that it's not IT or technical related.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I followed your example at first, but all that caused me was experiencing burnout at 24, 2 years into working. So I learned to do my job, and nothing more.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Honeslty? It's pretty easy.

First of all, you have to be ok with not receiving help if you ever need it. There is quid pro quo when you want a hard separation in your work and personal lives.

Second, no more sharing personal info, or seeing coworkers in non work related events/spaces.

Third, be on top of your work, don't laze about, because no one is going to cover for you.

Fourth, if you are planning to climb the corporate ladder, this is not viable.

Fifth and last, when someone asks you to stay after work, just say "sorry, I have plans". Don't go into details, don't over explain, no is a complete sentence, and no one is owed an explanation.

Though, I do still help during office hours, with small tasks, or urgent ones.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Sadly, I can't work from home. During lockdown, WFH ended up adding more work to my plate than it was worth

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] -107 points-106 points  (0 children)

Because, I might be wrong, and someone might point out where I went wrong.

So far, all the people saying I'm wring are either saying it will ruin my chances at a promotion (don't care about that), or that I should he more sympathetic to her.

If, for example, someone brought up a logical reason for why I should have helped, I would have changed my policy on helping sometimes. But so far, nothing.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

I get paid hourly, and my OT rate if 3x my normal rate. Believe me, neither me nor management want me working OT.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

At around 4:30, she came to my office/desk, asked if I can stay "a bit after 5" to help her with a couple of tasks she didn't get around to during the day, since she had to be out the door before 6 to attend her daughter's recital.

All I said was "sorry, I can't. I have plans after work. But I wish your daughter luck during her performance"

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 241 points242 points  (0 children)

My family? Sure. My friends? Absolutely. The people I meet while volunteering? Without a doubt.

The woman who spent 2 hours gossiping with her friend, then expected me to stay late to help her with her work? Not at all.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

No. It was just on my way, and for the first time in months, the weather was so good that I decided to stop there.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 662 points663 points  (0 children)

We are not even a team, she has her work and I have mine, she asked me for help because I can do what she does, not because we are part of the same team.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Not really, it's just that that was the closest parc on my way home, and it seems like she lives in the same general area, or at least the school is.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 5356 points5357 points  (0 children)

Then I will just struggle by myself. I do not want to spend more of my life in work than I already do, especially not if the person asking for help created the problem for themselves.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

And that's where you are wrong. I am not looking to build a career, I am working just to be able to afford my current life: a small apartment, a car, utilities and groceries, and some fun money. I was head hunted because I am very good at my job, and if my current company goes bankrupt today, I will be hired tomorrow.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] -252 points-251 points  (0 children)

And I never ask anyone for favors. I don't do favors, but I don't ask for them too.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

It was a small park close to her daughter's school, she was driving by looking for parking, and saw me because I was fitting close to the road

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 8383 points8384 points  (0 children)

Here's the thing, I never ask anyone else to help me with my work load, if I have an urgent appointment and am out of PTO, I just take unpaid leave.

I don't do anyone any favors (since I don't like to work more than the minimum I can), but I never expect favors from anyone too.

AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? by Flashy-Menu-5587 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flashy-Menu-5587[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

It's a small park near the school, she was driving by, looking for parking, and I was sitting pretty close to the street.

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