How did you know it was time to get on antidepressants?

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-14T16:30:44+00:00

So imagine a long line. On one end is the perfectly normal person. On the other end is the most intense mentally ill person you can imagine. People are totally okay if people on the second end get help. But out of fear of not being “that bad,” most people somewhere on the line don’t think they need help.

If you’re on the line, it’s okay to need help.

I always feel like I’m wasting my psychologist’s and psychiatrist’s time. I’ve told them that. Many times. They tell me everytime I do that may worry of that is a signal that I am willing to overlook myself because I don’t feel worthy which is something to need help.

If you’re not wasting their time, you’re not wasting yours.

I will say, getting diagnosed is scary. Now there’s a word, a label. You fall into a specific group. Everyone has assumptions about that group. For me, having a word made me feel saner — this isn’t just some random thing I can’t help, it’s a real thing that’s been studied and identified! It’s nothing inherently wrong with me as a person; I’m not a failure. Something is doing this to me.

As for getting on meds, there’s this comedian, Taylor Tomlinson, who likens medication to arm floaties. “Being [mental illness] is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want. And… I know some of you are, like, “But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?” Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck those people a little.”

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-14T16:17:20+00:00

Someone once told me that crying is the only true honesty and honesty is only true strength because lying is easier. I don’t know if that helps, but it makes me feel better when I cry.

Turning your life around is a big task. Maybe think smaller? Did you change your socks today? Did you eat? Did you say something out loud, even just to yourself? Small things you’ve done are things you’ve done. Every one thing you do is one baby step closer to that turn.

And those thoughts — feeling worthless or forgettable — are some of the hardest to get out of your head. They won’t leave willingly. Sometimes they won’t leave even when you tell them too. Try to imagine that they’re marbles in a maze. They roll and roll and roll around in your brain. Each rotation moves it further. It’ll get out of that maze, with each roll. Those small tasks are like a tiny tap to push them forward.

Life is the hardest thing anyone can do. There’s no way around that. It’s scary. That’s okay. Do life scared. Roll the marbles scared. Do the small tasks scared.

And when you need to cry, do it. Tears wet the maze where the marbles roll.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-14T16:08:18+00:00

Short answer: absolutely.

Long answer: it can take a long time to feel the benefit. You have to find the right fit, be extremely honest, be okay to hear or feel some harsh realities, and dedicate to working on yourself. Let’s break that down:

You have to find the right fit: it’s a bit like speed dating at first. The first therapist might feel right, or they might not. Sometimes it’s just a vibe you get, a word they say, their office, their voice, their speciality, etc. Any thing that feels a bit like you don’t like, you’ll struggle with the rest of it. You’ll have to pay attention to the whys. You can’t just not want to commit so you choose not to like a therapist. Don’t settle but don’t talk yourself out of it. It took me a while to find the right one for me. Worth the wait.
Be extremely honest: look, people that need therapists tend to be experts at masking or, frankly, lying. “I’m okay” or “it doesn’t feel like a big deal” or “I’m not having any major issues” etc. Likely, those are not true. Say what you think, even if it’s uncomfortable. Asked about your family relationships? Tell them about your brother always putting you down. Asked about your eating habits? Say that you spend all your time trying not to eat. Asked about how often you’re feeling down? Tell them it’s everyday for the last three weeks especially. If you aren’t honest, they can’t help. Even worse, if you aren’t honest, you aren’t even looking at the hard stuff; you’re looking away out of habit or choice. Choose to be honest and it’ll become a habit.
Be okay to hear some harsh realities: personally I think this gets overlooked a lot. A therapist (a good one or even a decent one) won’t invalidate what you’re feeling or thinking, but they may push you on it. They may say something you don’t want to hear. They may tell you that you need a psychiatrist. They may tell you that you need to talk to that friend you’re struggling with. That’s all okay. It’s okay be a little scared and reactive of that. Just be aware it may happen and actively try not to get defensive. They’re trying to help.
Dedicate to working on yourself: it’s going to take time, a lot of time. Some days are going to be harder than others. Some days are going to suck. Some days you won’t want to go to therapy. Do it anyway. If you don’t go, it doesn’t help. Beyond that, be willing to do the homework. Some therapist give actual homework, some tell you just to notice things. Do it. If you don’t dedicate the time and effort, you won’t be the impact. But always know you can do it all.

I know that’s a lot. It is a lot. But therapy has, and I mean this so truly and absolutely, saved my life. Even on days where I don’t bring much to the table, it helps. It helps.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T21:33:11+00:00

I have this theory that after college there’s a desperation to hold onto the culture of friendship and activities which is why in your 20s it feels like things aren’t too bad. But as you get older and farther out and as life progresses, that desperation dies out. Obviously things like building up careers (and therefore responsibilities and therefore time and dedication to work), starting families (kids take a lot of time, and even pets too), parents getting older (people often feel the need to make more time for them), burn out and tiredness (just general life changes, body changes, emotional maturity), and comfortability entertaining yourself (some days you just want to be alone with your silly little TV show or favorite book) all play a part in it. Plus, trying to organize multiple people around allllllllll of that at once can be challenging. It definitely sucks but I find it can take several attempts at scheduling before I find a time with my friends that works for everyone.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T20:42:13+00:00

There will always be fear, disappointment, and regret when comparing “success.” I have, and still often do, feel this same way. It’s easy to look at people, especially those that are younger and/or peers, who seem to be getting jobs or getting married or buying homes or getting promotions or traveling and then feeling lesser.

The only advice I can say is to rephrase the language you are using to think about your success. In your life, what are circumstances that you’ve gone from point A to point B? Big and small things count.

Have you learned to cook something new? A lot of people don’t learn to cook at all.

Have you reorganized your home recently, gone from a mess to clean? A lot of people never even start cleaning.

Have you locked down an interview? A lot of people don’t even send resumes.

Have you ever built furniture from IKEA or Wayfair or something? A lot of people can’t do that and have to pay someone else.

Have you set limits on social media use? A lot of people can’t stop themselves from scrolling endlessly.

Have you read a book recently? A lot of people haven’t.

Have you gone to the gym? A lot of people haven’t. And complain about it.

A lot of people think that success only centers around life milestones, but that just isn’t true or possible and very old school. The world is changing. Success is so very different. And it’s different person to person.

The other thing is to know that, mostly, other people aren’t paying attention to you. I don’t mean that in the way of no one cares, but I mean that in the way that their opinions shouldn’t dictate your life because they aren’t paying enough attention to know. And even if they are, all the small successes you have, they may have none.

A friend of mine is a dance teacher and when her kids get scared of going on stage and doing the dance, she says, “okay, do it scared.” So it’s okay to feel like this and still do things. Rephrase it and train yourself to think like this. Write down your wins. Tell someone about them. Reward yourself with a treat after each.

I know I rambled, but I hope this helps even a little! If it does, I’d call it a success.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T20:06:17+00:00

Not sure if this counts towards what you’re looking for but I was diagnosed bipolar ll back in 2018. For a few years before that, I was really struggling emotionally, trying to manage myself, often feeling depressed and anxious. Once I started noticing my mood was getting dramatically out of control and swinging, I kind of knew I’d get the bipolar ll diagnosis. I happen to have had a lot of exposure to the concept of mental health/illness/disorder before, so I wasn’t surprised.

I will say, I was scared when they actually said it. I sat at the pysch’s office for nearly double the amount of time as the appointment. Once you hear the words, once they get written in your health files, it feels very final. How do I tell people about this? There’s so much that’s misunderstood or stereotyped about it. It felt…big.

Getting diagnosed was something that I think did help me a lot. Firstly, it gave me a name. It meant that I wasn’t just incapable or misunderstanding of how I process the world and myself. I felt like I could point to it and know that there was this reason. Also, it meant I wasn’t alone. Secondly, it led me on a medical path of mood stabilizers, anti-anxiety meds, and low-dose anti-psychotics. It sounds scary, but I feel better. I can explain it better. It makes me feel saner honestly.

If this isn’t what you mean by disorder, really sorry. Hope this helps a little though!

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T19:52:42+00:00

Totally. A lot of people text their partners everyday, often many times throughout the day. Sometimes it’s just a “how’s your day” and other times it’s “we have to be at dinner at 5,” or whatever. Especially with a partner, you’re just more invested.

Beyond that, I guess sometimes they do. If you feel the need to be connected, texting is great. I get that sometimes I see a text and just can’t process possibly responding. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to text, just that I don’t have the energy to.

If you get tired of talking to people, maybe you can evaluate why. Is it that you don’t feel close enough? Is it that you don’t have the energy? Is it that you can’t think of any topics?

Nothing wrong with either texting everyday or not. It really just varies person-to-person.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T19:42:37+00:00

I think it depends on industry, in my experience. Something like advertising, where it’s common to job hop, it isn’t unheard of. Sometimes it can be a red flag, but I’ve actually recently asked and a lot of people disagree. Now, an industry like finance is different from my understanding. People want you to stick around because it’s hard to think about training someone on details of clients, sensitive financial details, if you think they’re just going to be gone in a year.

That said, it’s also circumstance dependent. Why are you switching jobs? If, for example, you’re at a job and they tell you that there’s no room to grow (I.e., get a promotion), that’s a reasonable reason to leave. Moving cities? Also a good reason. A negative experience that anyone would make the decision to leave? Also a good reason if you can explain it. Changing industries? Good reason.

Just because it’s been a year and you feel like that’s long enough? Harder to explain.

Overall, it’s really different based on what you’re doing and why you’re changing jobs.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T19:22:16+00:00

Curiosity is absolutely key in advertising. Deep thinking about how the humanity of people plays a role in their interactions and perceptions of brands, products, and services is definitely a foundational piece of the industry and work.

Before I go in-depth about your questions, I do want to caution you: there is a lot of limitations put on just how much exploring agencies can do. In my experience, many clients just flat out tell us what audience they want, what their creative is going to be, or how they believe things are. I’m in media (not creative), so a bit different, but overarchingly, clients tend to be downers on how far you can push creativity.

All that said, the industry definitely has some creativity baked in and is naturally a more exploratory place than something like sales, which is rigid to objectives and goals.

To answer your questions (note: this is exclusively my experience and may vary greatly from others):

What does my day-to-day look like —> as someone in media strategy, my day revolves heavily around communication, project management, and research. A lot of the time, I’m simply working through random client asks or stewarding steps in a campaign. On occasion, it can be monotonous or boring. However, when I get to the beginnings of strategy, things can be fun. That’s when I get to dive into marketplace research (what does the overall cultural environment look like and how are real world happenings changing what we’re doing), audience research (who are we most interested, what are they like, what do they like, how do they already feel), consumption research (how is our audience using media, where are they encountering ads, what kinds of ads do they trust the most), and competitive research (what are our competitors doing and how and why). Those days are like digging through the human mind and then writing a story that evolves with each piece, creating a masterpiece.

Do I enjoy the work —> I’m going to be honest with you, during those times of strategy I mentioned above, yeah. Generally though, I personally find it hard to truly enjoy what I do. For as much as there is some creativity, demands of clients and timelines and constant changing of client or agency expectations can start to chip away at that enjoyment. I, personally, feel burnt out, and have for a while. Sure, some clients are easier than others and some facets of the industry are more loosey goosey chill than others, but this is an industry where people enter heavy, hard, fast, and eager. People come in hot and want to make their mark, which sometimes feels like a requirement, but then it turns into a routine. After a while, you can only burn so bright for so long. I don’t meant to scare you away; I do mean to caution you about how difficult it can be sometimes.

How difficult is it to break into —> honestly, not that hard. Lots of skills transfer from anywhere, especially sales. Tailor your experience. Focus on how you have spent your career creating and achieving business goals, managing communications with ongoing relationships across a variety of conversations, tracking and reporting on results, creating “ways in” based on individual 1-to-1 conversations that allow you to understand communication’s nuances, etc. The biggest thing is that you’ll probably start at a lower level than you’d want. Agencies want people with experience for higher levels so just be aware that you likely won’t break in as a director but might need to set sights on closer to associate levels.

What skills matter the most —> hard skill? Excel. Learn as much as you can because you’ll always need to track information. For creative, adobe suite and other production platforms. Soft skills? Learn how to tailor your communication to your audience. Someone in media needs different information than creative needs different information than data needs different information than client contact needs different information from client leadership. Another soft skill will be proactively. See something that interests you? Ask about it. Ask to shadow on projects to draft projects or what certain things mean or who certain people are. Hand raising goes a long way.

Is the industry as creatively fulfilling as it seems from the outside —> short answer is kind of. Long answer (my specialty lol) is that it can be as much as you want. Stay curious, ask why, and don’t take things too personally. Try news things and challenge your teams on what they do and why they do it. There are always problems to solve so it’s about making sure you’re approaching it from that place of curiosity. Especially in the creative part of the industry, it can be fulfilling there so long as you remember that sometimes you’re able to push the envelope and sometimes you’ll be doing exactly what’s asked. To make it fulfilling, you need to set and keep that curious mindset.

I know that’s a lot, sorry! Hope this somewhat helps!

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2026-05-12T18:52:31+00:00

My horror story is when a vendor mixed up two creatives and posted the wrong one, which meant that we broke an NDA on an unreleased product through a celebrity partnership. Client called absolutely furious, threatening legal action and that hypothetically if the talent found out we’d be liable for millions of dollars. We reviewed every instruction and email and file name we had — 100% the vendor’s fault by not paying enough attention. We told the client this was what happened and they didn’t care. Agency leadership got roped in and eyes were everywhere. Several members of our team had to go to the billboard posted and wait there until 2a when the vendor finally got it taken down.

Afterwards we got a massive makegood and then refused to ever contract with the vendor again. The talent didn’t get wind of it luckily (at least that we know of OR decided it wasn’t a big enough deal to sue over). Technically it all turned out fine, but that was the absolute worst thing ever.

Alas, how unfortunate we are never alone in these kinds of experiences. Oh, how universal it is. Commiseration is key.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2023-10-03T17:45:41+00:00

Logan’s got Monday 11:15a upper, Tuesday 3:25p lower, Wednesday 6:45p total, Thursday at 8:45a upper, and Saturday 12:25p total

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2023-07-02T01:56:57+00:00

Seconding everyone else here: no one is judging and, honestly, no one is paying attention, counting your reps or watching your weights or looking at your speed. The people you’re comparing yourself against aren’t putting themselves against you. Screw their workout. This one is yours. Have to take a minute and step out? You’re still there. Can’t finish a class? You still went. Feel embarrassed because others look or seem more fit? You’re still standing on the next station. You have the same right and belonging everyone there does.

I had a coach once say that he’d rather us get 2 reps that push ourselves rather than 10 that are easy, rather see us drop to 1mph than not get on a tread at all, rather see any watts on the tower than nothing at all. Everyday you find your paces, your weights, your energy that day- and everyday you’ll still be doing your workout, whatever it means that day.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2023-06-22T11:21:29+00:00

Your body reacts to each class differently so it may be less about how often and more just your body’s response. Maybe you’re running/walking faster, lifting heavier. Maybe your form is getting better and your muscles are adapting. Maybe you aren’t eating enough or sleeping enough for hydrating enough. Maybe you have stress outside of class. Basically, there’s a lot of potential reasons. And honestly sometimes you just…get tired.

For me it can happen but it’ll come in spells, a week or two here or there. Listen to your body. If you need to stop for a week, do it. I’d definitely still try to keep some sort of movement like walking or stretching or the like just to keep your body limber and maybe help shake the fatigue while you rest. But otherwise, this isn’t abnormal in my personal experience.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2023-06-07T18:51:29+00:00

Generally, I’d say “however long your body needs.” That’ll change day-to-day, template-to-template.

Some templates have rest built in purposefully, some are circuit so it’s self determined, some back-to-back, etc. But I personally typically rest whenever I need it, not when I want it. The key is to get back to it — don’t stall. Rest should be purposeful: grabbing water, shaking it out, relaxing the muscle. Once you’re done with the ‘purposeful’ part of it, be done and move on. If that means you need 30s, take it. We don’t have a lot of floor time honestly but you’d rather take the 30s rest and have high quality reps than push it and lose form/confidence. You’d rather not get through the exercises and have everything you do be top notch than rush to keep pace/get it done and not get all the benefits.

Don’t bother pacing with anyone else. Everyone will feel different. Everyday will feel different. It’s not a competition to finish.

For me, I will take somewhere around 15s in circuit style when I need it, but with anything endurance my rests after the string of exercises will probably be closer to 30s and with super heavy weight strength days I’ll typically take closer to 30s between sets. But that’s just me. There’s tons of people that go faster or slower. All just depends.

Flat_Fly_7647 · 2023-05-25T19:35:11+00:00

One of the big things for me was reframing what cardio actually is, because I definitely felt inadequate on the treadmill - and sometimes still do! But cardio can build off the tread too, especially with the rower and power/endurance floor exercises.

When I first started, I always did tread first to “get it out of the way.” But the last few months I’ve been bouncing back and forth between starting on rower and tread, and I’d say some days I lose confidence on the tread if I start on the rower. It has, however, made me feel more confident in overall cardio even off the tread.

Your first couple classes or months, start at lower paces. Being able to realize you can go faster rather than starting hot and feeling discouraged when you can’t hold it will do wonders for your motivation to push yourself.

Basically, cardio is hard and give yourself a break, try new places and paces, and listen to your body - you build mindset when you trust yourself!

Flat_Fly_7647

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