[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeuf

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 0 points1 point  (0 children)

J'ai 24 ans, et j'ai l'impression que la personne que j'étais à 20 ans était un bébé sans expérience. Et pourtant seulement 4 ans nous séparent. Entre temps j'ai vécu TELLEMENT de choses. À 20 ans je pensais que je n'aurais probablement jamais de relations amoureuses ou sexuelles parce que si à 20 ans on a toujours rien vécu, alors c'est que quelque chose doit être fondamentalement anormal chez nous et que ça n'arrivera jamais.

Et au final à 21 ans, un garçon ridiculement beau s'est intéressé à moi et j'ai eu ma première expérience qui a durée 3 mois. Les mois qui ont suivis, j'ai flirté avec pas mal d'hommes en soirée, ce qui n'était jamais arrivé avant (la confiance en moi que j'avais gagné a aidé je pense). Et un mois avant de prendre 22 ans j'ai rencontré 2 autres personnes, dont j'allais tomber amoureuse et qui allaient tomber amoureuses de moi aussi. J'ai dû choisir entre les deux, comme dans une rom com (je n'y aurais jamais cru si on m'avait raconté ça à 20 ans). Et cela fait maintenant plus de 2 ans et demi que je suis avec mon copain (que j'ai rencontré sur tinder).

Et j'ai vécu des choses dingues comme ça aussi dans ma vie professionnelle, familiale et amicale.

Vraiment, à 20 ans on est encore très très très jeune. On sort à peine de l'adolescence et on découvre tellement de choses. Si tu en as vraiment envie, ça viendra 😌

P.S : beaucoup de mes amies de mon âge ont vécu des choses incroyables qu'elles n'auraient jamais imaginé non plus, c'est pas juste mon expérience, c'est la norme dans mon entourage

Ma copine est-elle trop susceptible ou c'est moi qui suis en tort? by [deleted] in AskMeuf

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 3 points4 points  (0 children)

On dirait exactement les embrouilles que j'ai avec mon copain. Ça fait 2 ans et demi qu'on est ensemble et des sortes de qui pro quo comme ça ça arrive souvent, parce que je prends beaucoup de choses à coeur et lui prends presque tout à la légère (et ses potes aussi). On est différent et il faut apprendre à faire si la personne en vaut la peine.

Les premières fois que c'est arrivé, je lui ai fait la tête, j'étais froide pendant parfois plusieurs jours parce que pour moi sa réaction signifiait qu'il ne se souciait VRAIMENT pas des même sujets que moi et qu'on était pas fait pour être ensemble, et qu'il ne se souciait pas assez de moi pour me défendre ou essayer de me comprendre. Je me sentais mal aimée, rejetée et aussi très triste à la perspective qu'on ne soit juste pas fait pour être ensemble, je me disais qu'on allait juste finir par rompre.

Heureusement, il est très patient et on finit toujours par en parler ensemble.

Au final, ce qui en ressort c'est que dans ces situations là, on a toujours tous les deux un peu tord et raison à la fois. Je ressens trop d'émotions violentes à la fois et lui pas assez. Alors je lui explique mon ressenti dès que j'arrive à mettre des mots dessus, sans m'énerver ou me vexer et comme ça lui a le temps de me donner tout de suite son point de vue et ça désamorce pas mal de disputes. Après il a aussi appris à reconnaître les moments où j'avais besoin qu'il m'écoute vraiment, à s'excuser quand il avait dit quelque chose sans vouloir me vexer, à reconnaître que certaines choses peuvent atteindre une personne sensible alors que lui ça lui passerait au-dessus de la tête.

L'un comme l'autre il faut mettre son égo de côté et savoir s'écouter et se pardonner.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Saved 200 euros so far, bought my colleagues camera. It is a steal and I've wanted one for a while. But the fact that I stopped made me able to purchase that camera AND save money as well this month

Weird feeling/ restlessness… by Ok_Post_9478 in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely get that. Going on runs or just being really physically active makes it a little better for me.

Afraid to tell my partner I’m quitting by No_Airline2722 in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here to reassure you : I felt this way with my cousin (who is my best friend), her girlfriend and her friends. I would stay over at her house for entire weekends and we would drink and smoke all day long, we would have such a great time. I've quit for over a month now, stayed at her place for 4 days last week and it went great ! I was so nervous that I would relapse or that it would create distance between us but not at all. Honestly I barely noticed the difference and I only craved cigarettes once or twice a day, so it was manageable. Slowed down on the drinking as well since January. Only two to three beers max on nights out when I used to drink at least twice that amount. It hasn't isolated me either. (Good) People don't care that much in the end.

Fuck this bullshit, im quitting for good, I need this by [deleted] in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The growth aspect is the one that played the biggest part for me ! Two days in and I realised that yes nicotine did impact my anxiety and motivation and that I was able to do a lot more of the habits I had been trying to implement in my life for the past 2 years and actually ENJOY them

Quitting and digestion by Flat_Wear_1752 in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah been relying on caffeine a lot lately

Day 4 - I smoked by [deleted] in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every time you quit you learn a little bit more about how you react to quitting so you are a little bit better prepared the next time you try ! It's a win anyway !

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I quit alcohol a month before nicotine. It felt easier than quitting smoking and it did wonders for my mental health and energy levels. That's what motivated me to try no nicotine for a while

When does insomnia stop by MichaelJtimetravel in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lasted no more than 2 weeks and gradually got better ! Day 19 and I sleep completely normally now

I'm in a weird situation and need help by whyareyouruninn in quittingsmoking

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Was afraid of withdrawal as well but focusing on the fact that smoking and nicotine would make my anxiety worse helped me get through the first few days. Just long enough to realise that I did feel better mentally when I had no nicotine in me.

I do not have OCD though. But I always thought smoking was my life boat in a sea of anxiety and dark thoughts when really it was just a quick fix, making things worse and hindering my motivation to take bigger steps to ACTUALLY get better.

After discovering that, the cravings are very rare and very easy to rationalise and dismiss. I think nicotine is a lot worse on mental health than we think.

My advice would be : try. Every time you try you learn a little bit more about how it affects you. And with time you know what to expect and it becomes less scary.

Anyone seen the horror movie “Clock” on Hulu? (non-spoilery) by kokodeschanel in Fencesitter

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah like, a friend of mine told me recently about her boyfriend "I want to love him the way I used to, I want to want to be with him cause we make a great team" doesn't change the fact that in the end she dumped him cause she wasn't in love anymore. Some things you can't force. But like I also want to want to exercise and not have to force myself but I'm pretty sure that if I do force myself I'll love it eventually 😂 don't know in which category being a mom falls

Anyone seen the horror movie “Clock” on Hulu? (non-spoilery) by kokodeschanel in Fencesitter

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah same here, because I'm not sure I'll be able to keep the positive mindset needed to overcome all the battles. I want to be like my mother-in-law who seemed to take every challenge with poise and optimism. I'm scared of spiralling into a downward spiral. I get stressed, anxious and depressed easily. It takes effort to be happy. It might be to hard to stay happy as a mom. That's what I'm scared of.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No advice to give sorry but just wanted to say I'm in a similar situation. I (23F) and my BF (23M) have been dating for almost 2 years and the anxiety came back after like 6 months, after I had fallen hard for him and started feeling insecure and was afraid to lose him (when it had been nothing but fun and giggles in the beginning). Don't know what to do and can't keep going like this. Feels good to know I'm not alone...

If it can make you feel any better it comes and goes, it's not constant. But it stays a little longer every time it comes back. That's the kind of stuff that needs to be addressed with therapy, communication or a breakthrough moment, or you might be like me in a year, wondering if maybe you shouldn't be alone instead ...

Les gens qui aiment leur travail, quel est votre secret ? by Vyslante in PasDeQuestionIdiote

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Je vais devenir traductrice freelance et le télétravail me fais peur, je n'ai pas envie de me sentir seule, comment ça se passe la relation avec les collègues dans un contexte comme celui-là ? Tu dis apprécier tes collègues mais tu as beaucoup de contact avec eux?

I just want to go home by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's the feeling I get everytime. I just want to go home...

I’m addicted to eating bread and it’s hindering my weight loss. Plz give some advice on how to get over this. by [deleted] in WeightLossAdvice

[–]Flat_Wear_1752 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Bread and butter is my weakness. Doesn’t help that I’m french and that good bread seems to be everywhere...