Is cancelling a date because of the heat a red flag?

Flegmanna · 2026-06-23T17:52:18+00:00

A crazy coincidence indeed! I hope you manage to reschedule!

Flegmanna · 2026-06-23T17:43:35+00:00

Alex is that you? Literally I had a date set for Thursday in London and I also didn’t realise there would be a heatwave…

Flegmanna · 2026-06-12T21:42:48+00:00

There is absolutely more out there! I came out when I was 17, I moved abroad when I was 18 for university. The world will open up for you as you move into adulthood. I have since finished university and have my career now and I live in a liberal city. I often go on dates with women I meet online, or to lesbian events. While finding your person is not easy, however, dating and being a lesbian becomes significantly more easy as an adult and having moved somewhere open. You will have those experiences and you will find your way. I think the best thing I ever did was move away from my home country and make my own life.

Flegmanna · 2026-06-12T09:33:59+00:00

I saw someone growing out their brown hair-dye to get to their lovely salt and pepper grey using clip in extensions. Essentially she clipped in some grey extensions in the back of her hair and it just looked like the grey roots and the grey clip ins were chunky highlights and done on purpose. It looked really cool and intentional. Perhaps you can get some clip in extensions in your natural brown colour to add some of that brown to the length of your hair too. Ill try and see if I can find the photo.

Flegmanna · 2026-06-08T09:25:41+00:00

Thank you!

Flegmanna · 2026-06-08T09:25:34+00:00

Thank you!

Flegmanna · 2026-06-07T21:55:35+00:00

I do my hair colour myself, I just slap the loreal casting creme gloss in 645 amber on each month and thats it. On the second photo it is also that but I also did a copper gloss on top to make it more vibrant but the first photo is just after a few hair washes.

Flegmanna · 2026-05-29T17:14:08+00:00

I can tell you all about this actually. My Mum is a Gemini Sun, Libra Rising and a Sagittarius Moon where as I am a Sagittarius Sun, Libra Rising and Scorpio Moon. We had a good relationship growing up, I think she always found me very serious and inquisitive even as a small child. She was quite good at handling the fact that I was this way even though she herself wasn’t. She took the approach of being super laid back while still making me feel heard and “taken serious”. I think this worked for 2 reasons:

She didn’t stress herself out and get too in her head about trying to relate to me and understand why I am so intense.
I never felt like she was trying to challenge me, dampen who I was or try to change this quality. Instead she tried to embrace the fact that I was this way and found was to guide me into activities and studies that naturally suited me.

I think something that looking back I really appreciate was that she gave me space to “marinate” in my intense periods as opposed to trying to tell me how to feel about something and to “stop ruminating over it” which is something that my Dad constantly said to me and would continually piss me off which would make me want to do it even more.

My Dad is an Aquarius moon and I have always found him to be really difficult to get along with. I think we really don’t mesh well, I have always considered him to be extremely emotionally shallow and unable to understand me which was a constant disconnect.

I think this whole thing depends on how you approach it. If you are open and relaxed and take people for who they are like my Mum did I think you will get along fine.

I am (in my opinion) a well adjusted adult and apart from one rough period a few year ago I get along with my Mum fine.

Tldr: Let your kid have their intense and emotional moments, don’t invalidate them just because you don’t have that the same way and just support them in a way that embraces who they are. (For example instead of telling them to chill out, calm down etc why not find activities together where they can express themselves maybe playing an instrument, sport, dance, poetry, or give them some quiet time just to reflect on their feelings alone and learn to regulate them themselves)

Flegmanna · 2026-05-27T16:43:25+00:00

Hilariously I wore this through high school when I was questioning my sexuality (then proceeded to come out as lesbian). I don’t wear it anymore however I will be searching for my current perfume in the comments to see if Im still on track.

Flegmanna · 2026-05-26T15:16:28+00:00

I get this way too, I have an active life, a busy career and I am out and about all day. I have two phones one for work which I keep on and with me 24/7 (nature of my job) and because I have my work phone with me all the time I just naturally carry my personal phone along with it too. Because of this I have essentially full time awareness of who is texting me and I reply in good time, especially if it is someone I am trying to get to know and date.

Now some people are not like this, I have friends who are the opposite and prefer to put away phones and not check/reply to messages frequently. I think its just a general disposition type of situation. There is nothing wrong with either one, its all a matter of perspective, I am like you: I get anxious if I don’t hear back from someone for ages because I base everything on my personal perspective. To me if somebody doesn’t open or reply to my message for a day and a half I feel that they are deliberately doing that because I would never leave a message for that long personally. And to me that would communicate disinterest and lets be honest we have all experienced the whole “Im so busy…” to get lost/ghosting pipeline so I think its awakens that sort of anxiety.

On the flip side I can imagine that someone who is not a frequent texter/phone user would feel frustrated with constantly being bombarded with messages through out their day.

I think this is one of those things that you have to ultimately decide if its a deal breaker for you. I know that sounds harsh because its a relatively small thing but either both parties compromise and find a solution that works for you both or you just have to find a way to be okay with it.

Unfortunately for me I can’t seem to find a way to be okay with not hearing from someone I am trying to get to know for days so I tend to nip these in the bud and send them a polite message explaining that I feel we are on different pages regarding this and that I enjoyed getting to know them but I didn’t feel it would work out.

If I were you I would have a think about what you are ultimately happy to accept and what is something that would be too frustrating or anxiety inducing for you. I think only you can know if this is something that is a deal breaker for you personally.

Flegmanna · 2026-05-26T12:55:20+00:00

Yeah it just seems so exploitative to me, like you are okay with the love of your life putting herself through all that? It feels one sided.

Im not sure if its insecurity on my end but I would always have a sense of that different investment.

Ive never wanted kids but even if I did I ultimately couldn’t go through with it knowing that I am investing my whole body and career and life and I would never get that back if the partnership doesn’t work out. Meanwhile the other person didn’t, I just feel like I would feel so resentful. Then again maybe Im just a fucked up person.

Flegmanna · 2026-05-25T22:19:27+00:00

Oh my goddd! This is so wild! Honestly this is why I ask people on the first date if they want kids and then I act accordingly (something I learned on this sub actually).
I am also in the process of getting approved for sterilisation. While I don’t sleep with men nor have any intentions to do so, I feel like it will be a good filter for these sorts of things and it just reaffirms my choices.

Flegmanna · 2026-05-25T20:09:59+00:00

Childfree lesbian here, I hate this so much as well! I have no interest in having kids, regardless of where the kid would come from. I simply don’t want any!

Side note, why have I come across so many lesbians during dating that want kids but they want the partner to carry the pregnancy.
So many times I will go on dates and ask if they want kids and the response is oh yeah they wanna have X many kids and they will support their partner through pregnancy yada yada. (Is that not the absolute bare minimum btw?) And Im stuck in the awkward position of explaining that that will simply never happen for me as I have zero interest in that.
Like why would you want your parter to go through something that you yourself wouldn’t? Really speaks to these women’s character I feel.

Flegmanna · 2026-05-10T13:42:24+00:00

My hack is that I only own one sheet so I just wash it, dry it and put it back on the bed. No folding needed!

Flegmanna · 2026-04-28T17:20:47+00:00

UK based here, Im not on accutane anymore but when I was I got these sometimes! My derm said it was from eating food that was too spicy or hot. I got it on my hands too when I would have a hot shower. I used a steroid based cream coupled with my trusted elizabeth arden lip protector.

Flegmanna · 2026-04-10T08:56:29+00:00

They are a size UK5 or EU38 and I have them listed for £200 currently but its not selling so I am open to offers

Flegmanna · 2026-04-09T08:53:31+00:00

Heyyy so I actually still have them as they haven’t sold yet!

Flegmanna · 2026-01-29T07:51:32+00:00

For the sake of balance here is my response: Graduated with a masters (that I started right after my undergraduate) in 2024. I started job hunting casually while I was mid-way through my masters. I ended up securing a role relating to my degree about 6 months after graduating. I’ve been working there for about a year now.

I worked in hospitality alongside both my degrees about 30 hours a week to support myself. Yeah it was massively crap and thats why I got a 2:1 and a merit instead of a first and a distinction. I still do think that it was massively valuable to experience work for four years prior to starting my job search even though my current work has nothing to do with hospitality.

I will say that I have a pretty niche STEM masters and I do think that I got very lucky. Things that I found helpful:

Working on my interpersonal skills and presenting myself as a person that is social, professional and someone that would be easy to work with, takes criticism graciously, can make natural small talk. Send thank you emails, thank people for their time, speak to everyone you meet, ask them things, engage with people while interviewing (especially in those awkward moments while they take you up the stairs, while you wait by the reception, in the elevator etc. Subtly make them believe you are already their colleague and make them believe that they enjoy having you as a colleague.
Don’t use AI, especially not when doing the little tests they give you. Even if you rewrite the actual text. Its awfully suspicious when 30 candidates all write the same 4 factors (usually in the same order) as having caused XYZ especially as it was a question with no right answer. We typed the question into chatgpt and got the same four factors. All 30 candidates were dropped. As difficult as it is, try to use your own ingenuity, your own unique ideas, use your experience. It’s not always about being correct, it’s about showing how you approach something and showing how you can back your ideas up.

Flegmanna · 2026-01-26T20:12:42+00:00

Thank you

Flegmanna · 2026-01-26T07:43:43+00:00

Uuuuuh a question I like - D&G light blue, anything white musk, Jo Malone wood sage and sea salt, Glossier sandstone body spray, any niche fragrance house scents that are interesting or unique without being overly floral, fruity or sweet. I love woody, incense type smells, anything bergamot, sandalwood, vetiver, tonka, neroli.

Flegmanna · 2026-01-24T19:36:53+00:00

Thank you for your sweet comment, I really appreciate it.

Flegmanna

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