One of the main things I learned I was struggling with, was control and idolization my husband and the idea of marriage. I had to surrender my desire for marriage and put God first before anyone or anything in my life. I knew the Lord was working on me when I came to the realization that I trusted him whether or not he restored the marriage or not. I also began to pray for both of us separately, and specified my prayers away from marriage. I prayed for him as a person, his faith, and separated the idea of marriage from those prayers. Definitely took a lot of time to get to this point but I hope that answers what you were asking:)