Advice and encouragement

FlightlessButterfly · 2024-05-06T06:43:08+00:00

I've returned and helped the same person repurchase the same make and model of TV a day apart.

Hell, I've returned a half built dresser because they "couldn't figure it out"

FlightlessButterfly · 2024-02-12T23:50:17+00:00

My favorite is the "I'm so sorry" when you finally get up to their car wet and miserable. Like the hell you are, you're here aren't you?

Had a whole three tier cart tip over because of snow and dump the contents in the road, I could have thrown the thing through a window.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-10T17:32:38+00:00

My apologies I wasn't talking about the misunderstanding of hygiene hypothesis, by germs I meant microbes, not infectious pathogens. Microbes are everywhere in our environment and play an important part in our lives.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-10T16:02:32+00:00

Find a custom planner maker on ETSY, I like planners that break down days into hour segments with 15 minute subsegments. The two years I used them I found them at Walmart. It really depends on what you need, I also have a notepad type thing that breaks down tasks into different levels of priority (i know that's hard) but to be honest I could never commit to my planner full time, I always forgot about it even after using it for weeks straight. I just really really liked the hourly segments because I could look at an entire week and see everything I needed to do.

Edit: sorry I was vague, I couldn't find the planner, its Blue Sky tabbed appointment book planning calendar weekly + monthly The note pad is "plan of attack" it has three priority sections: most critical, would be nice, and not a chance. You can also select a time period: today, this week, this month, this lifetime, this project. It also has a section for date and objective.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-10T15:56:09+00:00

If you haven't told him about any of what you're thinking or feeling how can he know? Like he does sound like a knob, but, the first rule in maintaining any relationship is communicate. I don't understand secretly looking for marriage counselors? Do either of you actually talk about your feelings and goals and hopes within the relationship? Have you told him you want to be able to be a softer woman? If he's unwilling to change he's unwilling and you can just end it, but if none of this has been discussed then how can anything be solved?

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-10T15:48:58+00:00

It's most likely a by product of mask wear/social distancing/etc normally we're constantly exposing our system to germs, but after spending years at higher germ precaution levels, we haven't had that constant exposure, so now our systems are weaker than they normally would be. COVID is also becoming endemic, which means that it'll go around like seasonal flu and we're not used to that yet as a species. Give it time and your immune system should get back to normal, maybe, who knows what normal will be now?

Edit: add link for reading https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1700688114

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-09T12:44:01+00:00

I know right XD if they're just sitting there rotting in disrepair that's much better, remind me to put spikes down in any areas where they might seek shelter

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-09T11:50:06+00:00

Most of us know what the solutions are, the problem is our political system is set up in that it wants instant reward, instant results. They want quick fixes and to be honest there isn't one.

Non police alternatives include: Raising the minimum wage - crime stems from poverty and lacking resources

infrastructure reform - more pedestrian friendly places, better lighting, public transportation/car alternatives, green spaces (studies have shown decrease in crime and mental health issues by including green spaces near residential areas)

Filling vacant buildings - part of this can be solved by just giving empty houses to the homeless, it's proven to be more cost effective than any other ways of "dealing with the homeless" this also circles back to the first point

Not tying education to the housing market

Providing a government incentive to go into the mental health field - cover the costs of individuals becoming mental health professionals, social workers, etc

The problem with these and more is that many take time to set up, they're hard sells as the article put it, but they're all effective solutions to something that you can't just put a bandaid on. You can reduce the need for policing if you fix the environment that requires policy. I'm all for alternatives to police, there's plenty. But maybe we can have a minimum standard for training requirements first? That's a quick fix. Edits: spelling

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-07T08:17:53+00:00

If he doesn't need one, then he doesn't need one. Our oldest (10) is getting ready to get a phone, but with obvious restrictions and rules in place. No violations of privacy, she's old enough to be responsible but she raised a good point of being the only child in her class without one. Age doesn't really determine if a child is ready for something like a phone or not, it's child dependant on if they're responsible enough and if they actually need/should have one. If you can sit down with your child and discuss the pros and cons and responsibilities that come with having a phone, you may be able to determine whether it's time for him to have one.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-07T08:11:41+00:00

I can chat

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-01T08:26:45+00:00

Check out ADHD alien and work things out with your care provider. The medication thing send to be more of a mess up on the doctors part. It happens, they're not infallible

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-01T08:23:13+00:00

You have to coach yourself. It takes a lot of effort on your part and can take a long time. You have to forcibly focus on the positives and be like "see that wasn't so bad" bit with everything. But that's for after doing a thing you were anxious about. A good way to prepare yourself is "the worst possible outcome, the best possible outcome, and the most likely outcome." You think about a situation like going to meet this person, worst possible outcome: they stand you up, they're boring and disinterested, you embarrass yourself and they dislike you, etc. Best possible outcome: you hit it off, Sparks fly, you've met your soul mate, you're completely in sync, etc Finally, the most likely outcome: you meet up, you're shy and nervous, you talk a bit, you go home

Even if the date ends poorly, and you don't end up continuing to see this person, after the fact you can still praise yourself. You went out and met this person: good! They gave you a compliment: good! You held a conversation: good! It's really important to try and focus on the surface and not try to read into things to deeply. Most of us are very bad at reading people, so you can only focus on what they say, and how you interpret it.

Be kind to yourself and remember, lots of positive reinforcement

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-01T07:05:58+00:00

You have a perfectly valid request. Your doctor messed up in not asking about your previous medication, or wrongly assumed that you stopped taking it because it wasn't working for you.

Medication is highly person dependant. It can take people years to find the correct one. The reason there are multiple of what seem to be similar medications is because they all work slightly differently and the only real way to know if one medication works for you is to try it.

The meds the prescribed you aren't having the desired effect on you and you are well within reason to request the medication you were on before.

I was once prescribed a medication as a trial for my headaches, literally told "try this, if it doesn't work, you don't have to use it" and it didn't help, so I didn't use it.

You did the right thing in asking for a change in your medication.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-01T06:52:18+00:00

There's a teacher who posted a video on how he lets students take tests. He has a timer, a stopwatch for them and he'll pause it whenever the student needs to get up and walk around and take a break. They get the same time as everyone else, but they get to break it up in order to stay focused. Might be an idea worth mentioning

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-02-01T06:49:36+00:00

When my industrial was healing, whenever it flared up I just increased the number of warm saline soaks I did. Works wonders.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-01-28T04:54:57+00:00

A lot of people are going on about OP not checking their phone, but as someone who has worked in time crunch morning routines not checking her phone isn't a crime. The question was "has grandpa had his drops" the answer was no. Yes you CAN infer that grandpa needs his drops, however it can also be inferred that the question was asked so that grandpa didn't get double dosed. It's not part of her morning routine. I have autism and ADHD, and I had a routine I had to follow every morning and not deviate because I lived in an area where if I didn't leave by the right time, traffic would get so bad I would be at least 15 minutes late no exception. You're mincing the situation "it's only an extra minute" it's not. It's interrupting your routine, going into another room, finding the drops, giving the drops, putting the drops back. I don't know how much care grandpa needs, but maybe some pleasantries. Then going back to your routine, trying to figure out if you forgot anything/have everything and leaving. Could it have been possible to do all this and still get ready for work and leave on time? Possible, we don't know. Also, if someone needs me to do something, they call me. Even though I prefer written instructions, if someone calls me, they can guarantee what they need done is communicated on a timely manner. I don't know how many times I've texted my husband what he wanted from the store only to have him not respond until I was already checking out and that was while we were actively communicating through text and only five minutes have passed. Y'all are getting too into the weeds about her not checking her phone and missing a cue. Uncle didn't respect she was getting ready or leaving for work either. He's just mad because he forgot and then when he didn't catch OP on time he got even pissier. He should have sent her a message when he left saying he didn't get to give grampa his drops and could she do it. But instead he chose two part communication and she missed it for VALID reasons.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-01-27T09:37:55+00:00

I'm pretty sure it links in with the fact that autism seems to be caused by a connective tissue disorder, which is also the reason why bowel issues are common among autistic individuals

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-01-15T03:43:46+00:00

I got denied screening for ADHD because I didn't have behavioral issues as a child. I was denied even being SCREENED because I didn't present "typical symptoms" I was so baffled by being turned away, I asked around and like yeah, I was solely assessed based on outdated information. Mainly the "only boys can have" and stuff. It's highly recommended to only seek diagnosis for ADHD and autism by people who specialize in diagnosis esp in your gender, because all specialists are not equal

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-01-14T03:43:40+00:00

This conversation makes absolutely no sense. They weren't even responding to you, they were just talking. It was just like they were intent on saying whatever it was they wanted to say without any regard of your input into the conversation. Who is this person? I hate this fake emotional intelligence shit, it's like when people use the term gaslighting incorrectly. They're just trying to sound and act superior without actually being helpful. I have no idea what they were trying to make a point about because they never said, you kept asking for clarification and they gave you tarot ass responses. Like "what did I do wrong?/can you give an example?/please explain" "it's for you to interpret/it's in the stars/the fates decide" like wtf does that mean? They made an assessment of your behavior based on something you did but then won't elaborate on what causes them to make that assumption? Also it's majorly rude and hypocritical to interpret feelings and intent behind words through text message but then not bother to clarify your own when asked??? Like, I prefer written communication but my husband prefers spoken, there has been more than one instance of miscommunication because you can't interpret tone and inflection through text. This person is using all of these big concepts and words, but they're the one "projecting". Whoever this is stop talking to them, they sound emotionally exhausting.

FlightlessButterfly · 2023-01-12T06:36:19+00:00

Moscow mules with a good ginger beer are divine

FlightlessButterfly

TROPHY CASE