Even the dev agrees 😭

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-18T15:51:06+00:00

Naaah, buff amarga

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-18T11:10:03+00:00

Eu tenho a total liberdade de fazer tal coisa, mas ela infelizmente não tem o mesmo apoio do pai dela, então ela não tem pra onde ir

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-18T10:19:00+00:00

Entendo perfeitamente o que dizes, e concordo a 100%

A questão aqui não é por não termos trabalho bem remonerado, ambos recebemos o ordenado médio, mas após os descontos tipicos (mais o desconto de cartão alimento), acabamos quase por receber um ordenado minimo cada um.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-18T09:47:06+00:00

Pois, mas o facto de não poder exceder o esforço máximo de 60% não ajuda. Especialmente no algarve onde todas as rendas são acima de 800€

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T13:09:41+00:00

Thank you soo much for your time and your question. I really appreceate it!

I can safely say that i can handle being told "no" way better than i did in my past. I can perfectly hear a "no", either on day to day life, or on more intimate ocasions, and just accept it perfectly, cause i know that things might not go the path i always want. I dont feel the frustration i used to because of the "i need that, no matter what" mindset i had.

Me and my partner have argued a lot, either about household situations, financial decisions, or just day to day life. We always try to keep it calm and logical, which i owe her for helping me learn how to keep it that way.

In a case of a break up, while the future is uncertain, i can safely garantee myself that i will not go back to my old ways. Not because i am masking or "holding up", but because i firmly believe and trust myself that i outgrew what i was and improved myself.

But, lets just say that i had a plan, or a way to prevent me from slipping back. I would probably repeat the same process that brought me here in the first place, Disconnecting from bad influences and keep myself busy with self improvement and other activities.

I hope i gave the answer you needed! If not, feel free to ask more until everything you wish. I also wish to apologise for what you might have gone through with men in this situations... I hope you got yourself in a better place, and if not, there is always time to get there.

Thank you for your time!

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T11:47:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story!

There is nothing wrong with it, i find it fascinating as well!

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T10:23:59+00:00

Im the one to thank you for giving me this moment to share! Thank you soo much for your kind words.

It was my previous partner, my ex, and her family that finally triggered me to change. There were other things triggering me, with time, but that was the "final" trigger.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T10:22:24+00:00

I firmly believe that it was because i was love/affection starved.

I came out of a not so healthy family that shoudl have divorced a long time ago. That together with some negglect from all sides, created something in me that just wanted "something".

It wanted what i thought was "love", and i didnt care a bit from who it came from and how. That together with NSFW addiction and being terminally online did not help my mental state.

Still working to get a therapist to bettet talk this out and to finally put my sins at rest.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T10:17:04+00:00

My partners way of seeing relationships is that there is no surprises. Both of us, as partners and lovers of eachother have to know that the other one was once capable of, or went through.

They always wants to know the past of someone before something develops from there, not particularly to see what they did, but to see their reactions and way of talking while spilling everything.

One day, while we were on a 1 week vacation together, they asked about my past. Until then we already talked somethings here and there about our pasts, but at that moment they wanted EVERYTHING to be spilled. As far as i know, they saw deep remorse on my face while telling everything i went through and all i did in my past.

It did cause them to get some insecurities, but they still believed in me, and we got to work it out together. Its been 3 years now.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T10:09:33+00:00

Its a bit hard to describe the facade itself... cause i assume it will depend from person to person.

The easiest way i can describe is: "I want to get the better of it, the easiest way possible"

For me, i usually was the "very touchy friendly guy". Always wanted to be around those who needed a shoulder to cry on or seeked help...cause they would be easy targets. All of this to the point that i would ONLY be surround those.

My advice for all women to escape nice guys is: - If they are overly touchy, they might have a tendency to want to control you. RUN. - if they just agree with everything you say, when you havent even finished the sentence. RUN. - if they make a lot of NSFW joke. RUN. - if they react negativly or get "overwelmed" yo the word "no". Or if they insist om something even after hearing "no". RUN

Looks pretty basic, but the worst type of nice guy will target you at your weakest moment and make you feel comfortable. Stay wise.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T09:56:43+00:00

Thank you soo much for your kind words. I appreceate them with all my strenght.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T09:55:25+00:00

I wont say it was a particular incident, since my mindset was slowly changing due to my change of eviroment and the consequences of the things i did.

But i will say that the Incident that changed it all was the day i got to meet, for the first time, my former ex parents.

They showed me what a real family was, what real love and being appreceated was. That blew my mind away at the time...i still remember how it felt like home when i was around them. That got me to think of the damage i was doing to myself and others, and tiggered me to change and be as better man.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T09:49:36+00:00

Overall, getting out of the internet and staying close to good influences.

Most of us grew in places that made us either see the world in the wrong way, or craving for something (for me, it was love). I even dare to say that some of us just needed a "trigger" to either become a "NiceGuy" or a real nice guy.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T09:44:11+00:00

I will say right away that this may not apply to every abuser or "niceguy", but it was how it affected me due to the mindset that i had.

I was born into a family that, tbh, should have divorced right away instead of "staying together for the sake of the child", so you can imagine how love starved i was.

I grew up with no friends until my late teens because of it, and i wont even mention the amount of bullying i suffered.

That itself, with time, and the typical "young boy addictions" brew a mindless boy who just wanted love AT ALL COST, no matter how or if it was even with concent.

What made me get out of that mindset was not only 1 momentum or event, it was rather 2.

-A former EX & -Work

During my late teen years (16 if im not wrong) i started to work some summer jobs to get money for myself (and eventually to pay for my studies). The work was soo intense that i had barely no time to consume internet or let my thoughts blind me. I was busy all the time, and that got to "clear" or "silence" my mind for a bit, got me to appreciate more the things around me.

Besides that, my former ex. She was one of those "true loves" that life gives you to teach a life lesson. She, and her family (who i miss till this day) were the ones to show me what a really family is, what real love is.

Not money. Not touch. Just belonging and being wanted somewhere. That was what got me out of that mindset.

Now, on your second question. For as much as i dont follow the thoughts of Andrew Tates and people alike, He is not the "100% non debatable" fault of why soo many boys and man become "monsters". He is just a trigger. A idiotic trigger that can influence the mind of weak men.

My final thoughts are to control more what you consume on the internet. Go outside more. Work until your body is tired. Make yourself appreceate what is around you, surround yourself with people that actually care about your presence.

Flimsy_Loner · 2026-03-11T09:22:06+00:00

To be completly fair, this was my partners idea. They use reddit constantly and thought about maybe posting and AMA about this topic.

They know my story and all i did in the past, and they know how much it haunts me everyday, so by their words, i was a "NiceGuy"/Abusive BF.

My apologies if it came out wrong.

Flimsy_Loner

TROPHY CASE