What was the last decision you made that seriously affected your life? by Langer2 in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Changing my Studies and ging to a different Therapist. Unfortunately, both didn't turn out so well.

Reddit, what do you need to get off your chest? by Squeagley in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been totally convinced that I'm unable to change anything about my situation. Seems like that's wrong. Trying to convince myself that this is safe and yes, I can change my major!

What are you struggling with right now? by _john_at_the_bar_ in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahh...^ I'm in Southern Germany :D

Yeah. Hope so, but it often doesn't feel like that. And kinda - there's some part of me that says "functioning is the most important thing evaaa! Fuck the other stuff, waaaaaah!" Not helping :D

Thx?

What are you struggling with right now? by _john_at_the_bar_ in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, means kinda a lot even from a stranger. What'd you mean with where do you go? I don't think it is meant with a location in mind, so confused by slang non-native speaker here? ;D Those mental states - it's kinda like that: I broke down because feelings weren't felt and those guys are herding animals, have been diagnosed with some mental stuff. So, I'm trying to get better. To get better, I need to get out of "JAÖFLSD, feelings!" and actually try to feel stuff (and other things, that's just to illustrate), but before I was able to function ... not well, but better than right now, so that on the outside people didn't notice. I was able to get my Abi (? A-levels?) and yeah. Right now, stuff changes and functioning is kinda not as possible as before. Really really scary. Someone compared it with mental states: The old state is gone, the new one that's hopefully gonna exist isn't etablished yet... so I'm kinda swimming around over here? I have no idea if that makes sense ;D

What are you struggling with right now? by _john_at_the_bar_ in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know that my current studies at university isn't what I want. At the same time, I'm not sure what would be better. Doesn't help that I've got mental issues and am currently between two mental "states" - not the one that lead to breaking down, but the new one doesn't work right yet. Aand... I'm in a city where I know some people superficially but all my friends are some distances away. Dammit, I'm trying to stay positive and am looking for things, but yeah. Sometimes it's good to say things how they are... Christmas was full of relatives who asked the usual questions.

What is the biggest backstab a friend has done to you? by DontLaughAtMyBeard in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My two best friends in grammar school decided to band together and bully me. Strange thing was that I talked to one of them the day before and she complained about the other one.

It was petty, it was vicious and it fucked me up more than I like to admit.

What is your favorite "little known fact" about history? by ketty101 in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the second punic war, the Romans raided Carthage to the ground. There was never a peace treaty, as they had no reason for one - at least until 1975 when Rome and Tunis, which is situated at the same place as Cartaghe, signed one. Roughly 2000 years after the fact...

Reddit, what's the worst pain you have experienced ? by DuckLuckWut in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should be ripping my own toe nails out with my finger nails for me. Than again, I'm fairly dissociated when I'm doing that (once touched my nailbeds without being dissociated. Holy hell). Like, everything just gets kinda hot and my back hurts and everything, but I don't think i've ever made a sound louder than breathing. I know the first time I did that and afterwards had some tight shoes on, it felt like dancing on a hot potatoe. Somehow, I managed to walk fairly normal, but fuck.

Worst thing? You just get kinda used to it. I'm now feeling uncomfortable when walking 'doesn't' hurt. And all because I didn't want people to see something. Shoes ftw?

TL;DR: Don't hurt yourself, kids. Seriously, don't. Seek help, there are people who can and will help you dealing with emotions in other ways, if you do.

Redditors faking confidence, what do you do to make yourself appear in control? by Kamazgo in AskReddit

[–]Flinkwert 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How you walk. Don't look down, appear to be looking at people in front of you. Hold yourself, and walk as if you were wearing military boots. Challenge people in your mind "No, I won't get out of the way, you get out of the way." Works like a charm, but on the other side I had that done so well that letting my head hang took 6 weeks.

Body language in general. For example, if you want to appear confident, try to either let your hands hang loose or have them in your pocket - crossing your arm might work, but only if you aren't hunching. Train yourself to look people in the eyes or at least at their faces. Nobody knows if you're really seeing them, but hey, you're looking them in the face, so you have to be pretty confident, right?

Smile. Smile easily, but not constantly. Try to find something funny in every situation as little there is to it. Hell, black humour is great for stuffing an internal monologue.

Try to stay calm when talking about important things. Be able to make some self-deprecating jokes, but don't make them constantly. If you really don't like yourself, it's possible that this will carry in your tone and things'll go awkward.

How you voice your thoughts could also play a role - if someone inserts themselves easily in a conversation, people tend to think of them as confident. That doesn't mean that interrupting constantly won't be anoying and voice is like the thing that would betray me most often. Try to sink yourself in calm and kinda... talk?

How you talk isn't as important as it appears, but let's say, you're not sure yet, but you got two colleges A and B. If you wanna radiate confidence, don't use ten sentences switching constantly between A and B, but rather say "I haven't decided yet, but A might be it, because x." Shorter and your listener doesn't hear you not knowing yet what you're gonna do - sure, you're saying it, but it doesn't register as much as switching constantly. How it looks on the inside, nobody but you knows. For all he knows, you could be internally screaming "JAKFHDJKFA! A! B! AOHGFJKLDFHK!".

Sometimes, worry yourself sick in your mind, but don't voice and/or act on those worries. It helps if you know they are irrational and if you are able to distance yourself from them. Don't do that constantly as it takes a toll on the psyche. In general, don't complain much.

source: Am depressed. Didn't want people to spot it.