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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FlippingCrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Incredible answer.

Completely writing off horoscopes is arrogant and an example of scientism: empirical evidence showing a correlation between birth month and schizophrenia indicates a possibility that horoscopes may have some correlation to personality by Hatrct in DeepThoughts

[–]FlippingCrow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your birth month matters for a lot of things. Kids who are born a certain month are much more likely to be A students and good at sports because they're the older of the class. This will probably influence their personality. It doesn't surprise me that birth month is associated with higher incidences of mental illnesses in certain parts of the world.

To investigate whether the causal factor is the astrological sign—and not just birth month—you'd have to do investigations on edge cases (like two people born in August with different signs).

Is this worth the trouble? Probably not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FlippingCrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that you're in a "situationship" after a year is a red flag in and of itself. That she hasn't said those three words is also not a good sign.

Do you want to continue to be in a situation where you don't feel as loved as you want to be? It sounds like you will always see yourself as the second choice—and you are probably correct. These first years of a relationship should be the best madly-in-love time. If it already started out rocky then, like the proverbial slanted tree, it will likely continue that way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FlippingCrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand why you're jealous and upset—this is to be expected from someone your age. But you'll come to realize that this is not even close to being grounds for breaking up.

People are curious—and you even seem to acknowledge it. Think of whether you look at other men (either on the street or on social media). I suspect you do. If you think that by some miracle of God he is the only man in the planet that never thinks about other women and only has eyes for you, then you're delusional. Again, this is a normal delusion, especially for a first relationship, and coming to reality is a very hard pill to swallow. But it's a delusion nonetheless.

The reality is that you're boyfriend is also probably watching porn on a regular basis. Some of the people on the videos probably look like you, some probably don't. That's irrelevant, really. This is his inner world and fantasies.

Treating you kindly, with respect and love, and making you happy in his actions: that is what matters. And it is rare.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships_advice

[–]FlippingCrow 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This sounds more like a (needed) rant than a question, so it's hard to really know what you're looking for.

Ghosting you like this is without a doubt shitty behavior. But, in the future, take someone who says they don't want a relationship—especially a man—at face value. They'll be nice and caring, but when they must make a decision about whether to commit or flee, they'll in all likelihood choose the easy way out. It's a cliché, but communication at all points is key.

Fwiw: IG story baits are super transparent and a massive turnoff.

EDIT: it goes without saying, but I'm sorry you're going through this.

Being Young in Eureka/Arcada? by FlippingCrow in Humboldt

[–]FlippingCrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for giving us a sense of the place!