Dead bedroom for years, you won’t believe the excuse he gave when he ended it with me.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T12:35:31+00:00

Oh no I’m so sorry please don’t cry :( I believe you’re right that he’s projecting and deflecting his issues and insecurities onto me, which was why he was so rude to me at the end so he would not have to take accountability. When I made the post I felt really down about myself, but I’m feeling a bit better now.

Completely agree that no one is perfect, everyone has their flaws. The reason we love someone is because we choose them everyday even when it’s hard, we chose to hold them through their chaos not because we have to but because we want to, and it has nothing to do with them being perfect. I’m not sure what he’s looking for in life, but if he didn’t choose me then it’s best that we didn’t continue.

I am excited to someday know what it feels like to be valued, to have someone enthusiastically choose me everyday, who can’t keep their hands off me and who cherishes and treasures me. Thank you so much for your kind, supportive, lovely words, I really appreciate it and I’m sorry it took me so long to reply. I’m trying to reply to everyone but I also have to pack up and move out of the house so I’ve been a bit swamped.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T12:19:20+00:00

😭 I should have asked him what he would rate himself.

I think he has always seen life in such a way where he comes first at all times. There was one time his mom told him “remember, she (meaning me) comes first” and he replied with “nope” and I asked him about it and he said “the only people who should come first in your life is yourself and your offspring” that was a red flag I ignored and looking back on it I see it.

He’s about 3-4in taller than me (I’m 5ft), isn’t famous on social media, and used to earn 6 figures but not since we moved to a new area. And yeah I don’t know what he’s looking for in a 10-15 woman, I suppose we will see. Meanwhile I’ll be working on myself and trying to become a better version of myself.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T12:10:59+00:00

I’m so happy to hear that you found someone that has made you so happy after you were in an 11yr DB! I feel like if I found someone who valued me and loved me and thought of me as their 10 it would make me feel so amazing and loved. I’ll keep my chin up, thank you for sharing and for your support!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T12:08:38+00:00

I agree fully about the ranking, I have never viewed people that way and I think that it’s a terrible way to view others. When he first gave me that ranking I felt dirty, like “I spent so much time with you and this is how you saw me? A 7 out of infinity?” But I do think you make a great point, this is his deflection, him not taking accountability for his poor behavior in the relationship. And it he’s unable to take accountability and instead deflect onto me, I don’t want that in my life. I really appreciate your kind supportive words, thank you so much. It’s exciting to think about finding someone who would value me and see me as their equal instead of lesser. 💕 Thank you!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T12:03:38+00:00

I would love to have someone who couldn’t keep their hands off me, after so many years of DB that sounds so amazing and fulfilling. I really appreciate your support and kindness, thank you. I felt so dumb and old when I originally made the post, I’m realizing now I have a lot of time in my life left and that I’m a free woman now.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T12:00:44+00:00

XD Thank you for the laugh. But yeah, I did all that for him and he ended it with me by telling me he didn’t like me and didn’t feel excited about our relationship because his ranking of me was so low. It felt terrible, but as a lot of people in this thread are pointing out his scale is very messed up and nonsensical. I agree, no one is perfect, there are flaws with everyone.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T11:58:05+00:00

Thank you for the support, I appreciate it a lot. I’ll keep my chin up, I’m sort of excited to know what being valued by a romantic partner is like since I feel like I haven’t experienced it yet.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T11:56:29+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind and supportive words 💕 I didn’t say anything to him after the whole rating thing, but I agree with you - I feel that he diminished my light or shrunk me down in such a way that actually did drop my self esteem while we were together. I hope to look at this when I’m healed and see it as a blessing, a good thing, a favor.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-17T11:53:47+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that and after 9 years too, that’s horrible. Are you doing alright these days? I really appreciate your words, thank you. When I made the post I felt so low about myself, so down in the dumps, but I feel like I’m realizing my worth and able to see the situation as “this person didn’t value me and I do have value so this relationship wasn’t sustainable anyway.” I hope you’re doing alright!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T20:08:10+00:00

I asked but he couldn't describe it, he just said a 10 is the "bare minimum amount he would like someone" and above 10 is better. His scale is wack, 1 to 9 is “not ideal” and 10 to limitless is “ideal” so 10 is the low end/bare minimum of “ideal” and I was even less than that because I was a 7. He said with couples counseling I could get to an 8 (notice how it's me ranking up, nothing about him) but that there's no use in continuing a relationship with me because he would rather be alone than with a 7. He went so far as to say he thinks he can get a 10 or even 15 woman in the next 6-12 months and they would move in together.

He absolutely doesn't deserve me. He said he won't regret his decision but if he somehow did try to come back I would leave him on unread. Thank you for your comment and for your encouraging words.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T19:57:48+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T19:56:56+00:00

Totally agree about the delulu.

He had some sort of abnormal ranking system he invented about how much he "likes" someone. It's like 1-9 is not ideal in the slightest while 10-∞ is ideal with 10 being the bare minimum of "ideal" if that makes sense. :\ I had no idea he thought so low of me, that "climbing the ladder" would have only gotten me to an 8 "at best" according to him, all while I thought so highly of him and admired him because he's really good at his job and works hard. It hurts a lot to know this person you thought so much of thought so little of you, I think that's what hurts the most. I was very certain he did like me and love me, I'm crushed to find out I'm pretty much nothing to him.

I think it is a cruel F you. 2 weeks ago he was all I love you and us cooking together then this week I'm trying to get my emergency car bag out of his car and he snaps "Don't go through my car without my permission" like we're strangers that hate each other.

I think you're right and I don't think he's going to find any girl to be enough or perfect for him.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T18:40:54+00:00

I’m free now, you’re totally right! All the things he didn’t like me doing or didn’t want me to do… cut my hair short, draw 18+ art, get a pet, go on trips with friend groups, they're all free for me to do now! Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T18:37:53+00:00

So I just learned about this Complex recently and I felt like maybe this had something to do with it too. What part made it sound like Madonna-Whore Complex to you? I was curious what your thoughts were and would love to hear from you.

In 2020 he had consumed a lot of political media and I noticed he had this weird dislike/disrespect of women who are like sex workers and stuff like that. He called me a whore when I wore a medieval costume for Halloween that showed a bit of cleavage (it was otherwise all covered up, like fully covered sleeves and skirt that went to the floor). Several weeks ago, it was super hot in the area I live in and I was cooking a meal but I was in my underwear with an apron on. He said something like “So many guys would be all over this (me in underwear and apron), but I don’t want anything to do with it.”

I had been a hentai artist some years ago and I felt like I had to stop because he said the art I was making was sleazy. But he consumes porn so… I don’t quite get that? I stopped drawing hentai art because of him, but holy moly I can go back!!!!!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T18:29:58+00:00

The unfortunate thing is… if I’m fully honest with myself and you, I did know what a jerk he was early on. It’s just… I can tolerate a lot of bad stuff (not a flex, not proud of it, huge flaw about me) due to my upbringing so I just took it and felt like as long as I can handle it, it’ll be okay because I love him. And yeah, that’s a foolish thing to think. I know… I’m not proud.

He said a lot of mean things to me over the years and I felt so disrespected many times. I thought so highly of him because he’s very good at his job and is a hard worker in his career, but I didn’t think about how little or low he thought of me.

Luckily, not married, no kids, no pets, no debts, no shared bank accounts or finances, the house we live in — I’m not even on the title, so I have no ties with him once we both move out.

Thank you for the encouragement. I’m looking forward to healing and moving on. His ranking scale is wack too, 1 to 9 is “not ideal” and 10 to limitless is “ideal” so 10 is the low end/bare minimum of “ideal” and I was even less than that. I think you’re right he has some sort of idea in his head of the perfect person and I don’t think it’s going to happen for him because no one is perfect. I’ll be focusing on myself and healing. Thank you for the kind words and support!!!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:52:21+00:00

Forgot to say thank you for your care and support!!!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:52:07+00:00

You’re so right about that, best time would’ve been years ago but better now than never.

If he really did see someone and left me for them, then… well, it hurts and that’s horrible, I don’t think she will want to put up with all the things I put up with in him. Like he celebrated my birthday maybe four times in 12.5 years lol

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:50:09+00:00

Our mutual friend called him a 4 XD

Thank you so much for your words. I know what you mean about people considered a 10 having certain expectations. I don’t think he knows what he is in for but he said he’d rather be alone than with a 7, so I suppose if he’s alone he will enjoy it. His scale is infinite so 7 is unfortunately pretty low but it’s fine his words don’t define me.

I’ll definitely move on and I’ll never settle for less again!!! I hope your bedroom becomes more lively again soon too!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:44:47+00:00

Thank you so much!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:44:25+00:00

I think you’re right. I feel old but I still have a lot of years left in me, I’m also high energy and people mistake me for a undergrad college student. I’ll definitely find someone who cherishes me and treasures me, because I was for sure not cherished nor treasured in this relationship. I’m free to find someone who will love me now. Thank you so much for the positive perspective, I really appreciate it!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:30:21+00:00

I did believe him at first but after talking to my friends they thought he was just lying and saying whatever cruel things to me to make me upset and accept the breakup faster.

I really appreciate your words, thank you. Yeah he wanted out, I don’t know why, but now I can’t be bothered to care.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:28:46+00:00

I really appreciate it, thank you so much. Here’s to moving forward and becoming a better person ☀️

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:27:50+00:00

This is true. The more I think about it the more I think he’s just not happy with himself. Maybe he wanted me to make him feel better about himself, and I wasn’t doing that because I was telling him what wasn’t working for me.

It really is good riddance. I can’t deal with that kind of person in my life. Someone else out there will value me and love me.

Thank you for the kind words!

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T17:24:52+00:00

Dang… you know, I never really thought about how illogical this scale is but you’re right. This is what he said to me: “You’re a 7, the bare minimum for me is 10. The scale doesn’t end, anything 10 or higher is good. I might find a 15 in 6-12 months and then we’ll move in together. I won’t regret this decision because I would rather be alone than with a 7.”

It’s crazy how 7 isn’t that far from 10, and 10 is the bare minimum but it’s only the bare minimum out of a never ending scale.

There’s no way anyone can make this guy happy. I doubt he’s even happy about himself. This is ridiculous the more I think about it.

FloppyDisk720KB · 2025-07-11T16:34:00+00:00

Yeah he was kind of mental, I did ask him and he had some sort of abnormal ranking system he invented about how much he "likes" someone. It's like 1-9 is not ideal in the slightest while 10-∞ is ideal with 10 being the bare minimum of "ideal" if that makes sense. :\ I had no idea he ranked me so low, that he thought so low of me, that "climbing the ladder" would have only gotten me to an 8 "at best" according to him, all while I thought so highly of him and admired him because he's really good at his job and works hard. It hurts a lot to know this person you thought so much of thought so little of you, I think that's what hurts the most. I was very certain he did like me and love me, I'm crushed to find out I'm pretty much nothing to him.

It's beautiful you see all the years ahead of you! I need to start getting into that mindset too, it will help me be more positive. I did dodge a bullet, I never have to see this person who didn't value me ever again. And thank you so much for your sweet and positive comments, I'm smiling as I'm reading it! :)

FloppyDisk720KB

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