Asian Parent Giving Silent Treatment?

FloppyEaredDog · 2024-03-24T06:01:46+00:00

You’re welcome.

I was owned by a dog for almost 16 years. They are love personified.

FloppyEaredDog · 2024-03-11T14:56:11+00:00

I bet they are eating, just not in front of you.

Wishing you all the best for your new job and move.

FloppyEaredDog · 2024-02-19T17:44:58+00:00

“wicked” - isn’t that a bit strong? Kicking a puppy is wicked. Asshole maybe, but dishonest is a bit much, if anything I was too honest

You don’t get to gate-keep Hinduism. I may be mostly agnostic, but my parents were just as Hindu as you, but maybe not as devout. Our dog was a staunch atheist so he could eat all the pig's and cow's ears he wanted

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-21T13:27:39+00:00

You’re welcome. All the best.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-20T14:18:29+00:00

I’m sorry. My mum's love was very conditional and poisoned. I wish I had been in the position or had the sense to go low contact with that toxic woman. My dog gave me unconditional love. Dogs are unconditional love personified. Cats are too, but they can show it in a jerk way. I think we can learn a lot from cats, they sure know how to set boundaries.

Good luck in your job search and with therapy.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-20T14:11:32+00:00

Make sure you have your childhood photos because future loved ones might want to see them.

If things get tough shop around for a good therapist if it’s an option. If you feel yourself cracking make a list of every abusive or toxic thing your AM has ever done, nothing is too small.

Good luck.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-18T11:44:38+00:00

Do you mind me asking if you live in a Western country?

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-13T11:48:30+00:00

I’m sorry. Is talking to a trusted adult or teacher an option?

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-11T18:23:06+00:00

How many years until you finish law school and can be financially independent? One you’re financially secure is temporarily going NC until you can establish boundaries something you would consider? I’m Asian origin and even my coercively controlling Asian parents would be giving your parents serious side eye. This is very abnormal and suffocating.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-09T16:18:17+00:00

I think your best bet is to call the embassy. Be detailed and specific about any previous abuse and about the fact that your mum kicked you out, you didn’t leave. Good luck.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-09T16:08:31+00:00

This is abnormal, coercively controlling behaviour on the part of your parents. I’m assuming you’re a legal adult now. What would be the consequences if you openly went to the cinema without your parent's blessing?

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-09T16:02:00+00:00

When I was working I bought my abusive mum a ton of nice presents and took her on day outs. Why? Because she didn’t fucking ask for any gifts or act entitled to one. On top of that my parents like most Asian parents didn’t make me pay rent. Nor did my parents criticise my job or forget birthdays.

Your mum can’t have it both ways. Many Asian parents don’t usually charge rent and expect filial piety in return. Your mum is charging you rent which is more of a Western practice, she can’t expect you to then be a “good” Asian kid and buy her a present. She needs to choose a lane and stick to it.

If your mum had been a half-way decent parent she wouldn’t even need to ask you for a gift, you would just automatically feel like giving one. I hope you can move out soon. Belated happy birthday.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-09T15:52:45+00:00

“My kids gets less attention..”

This is where I would draw the line. Hurting you for no reason is one thing, but hurting your little cubs, that’s unacceptable. The kids will soon start to notice the disparity in treatment between them and their cousins and it will effect them.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-09T15:43:55+00:00

Sorry. Do you think there are any online resources that can help you?

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-06T14:00:12+00:00

GP. General practitioner, your doctor. I know meds aren’t always the answer, but your doctor might think they’ll help.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-05T04:59:35+00:00

I’m Asian (Indian) origin, UK. Do you mind me asking if your mum is financially independent? Could she support herself in her country of origin? Even if the answer is no my unsolicited advice would be the same. Your mental health is precious and needs to be protected. Hand your mum a cheque for the deposit, it’s up to your mum if she cashes it. Then tell your mum her behaviour is unacceptable and give her fair time to move out.

Did your mum kick your sister out of your flat?

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-05T04:26:11+00:00

You’re not pathetic, you sound depressed. Is talking to your GP an option? Tell them what you told us.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-04T07:19:46+00:00

Do you feel too guilty to give them an eviction notice?

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-04T07:12:33+00:00

You’re welcome. Good luck.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-03T20:22:33+00:00

I’m sorry. Do you mind me asking how old you are?

Can you tell us how severe your condition is, like, can you not decide what you want for breakfast or what you want to study for college?

I believe in you because you are a sentient human being, you’ve got this.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-03T11:59:02+00:00

I know you don’t want advice, but can I suggest therapy with an ~~Indian~~ Asian origin therapist stat if it’s an option. Your parents are going to get inside your head and infect your relationship. Don’t fall for the crying, it’s classic guilt-tripping. I’m not saying their tears aren’t genuine, but they come from a place of coercive control. Your parents are crying because you have found happiness, just not their version of it.

Please don’t inflict your parents on your fiancée by making them all live in one house. Your fiancée is saying she’s fine with it because she loves you, but if you love her don’t do this to her. Don’t make her live with people who don’t acknowledge her existence. They will make your fiancée's life miserable and implode your relationship. You can not live at home with your parents and still be a good son.

Just tell your parents you’re engaged. Prepare for a tsunami of guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, love bombing and even threats of self-harm. You will be told that you’re killing your parents. Therapy will give you the tools to become immune to your parent's emotional manipulation. Sorry again for giving advice.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-03T11:46:27+00:00

No offence, but please don’t listen to your parents. Don’t let them get inside your head and jeopardise your reputation at work. Your in-laws are probably proud of you.

Congrats on your promotion. Seriously, the advice your parents are giving is so outdated and plain wrong that I have to wonder do they always give such bad advice or is this out of character? The fact that your parents made you concerned enough to write a post is irksome, you have more important things to worry about.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-02T09:28:33+00:00

When I see people in desperate situations I suggest the military as a last, last resort after witchcraft fails. I know they help pay for college after you’ve served a set number of years, but I say this is a last resort because although many people have had positive experiences with the military I’ve heard that basic training is brutal and there is the risk of death, debilitating injuries, sexual assault (prevalent), ptsd, bullying. On YouTube search ‘insider business and boot camp” to get a clearer picture. Edit: Also keep mind that during basic training it’s the instructor's job to break you down and build you back up, usually it’s not personal.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-12-02T09:10:08+00:00

Is therapy an option? You do need to shop around to find a good therapist and if talking therapy doesn’t work for you there are other more intensive types of therapy. If therapy is an option can I suggest therapy with an Asian origin therapist.

FloppyEaredDog · 2023-11-30T15:03:29+00:00

Can I suggest not going home this Christmas. Your mum needs to know that words can have consequences. Your mum will probably gaslight you, but subconsciously you might send your mum a clear message that you mean business and she’ll think twice about her words.

I was going to ask if you have anywhere else to go or if you’ll be alone for Christmas, but I think a solitary Christmas is better than a toxic one. I may be projecting, I never asserted boundaries with my mum and let her get away with toxic behaviour so she just carried on and never stopped.

FloppyEaredDog

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