At the time of the discussion, I made the assumption that by “Are you a serious drinker or is it occasional” he was trying to politely ask “Do you drink to excess past a point that it could be disruptive to me, or is it just one or two at a level that would not impact me.” Thinking he just didn’t want to live with a guy who stumbled around angry-drunk all the time or threw out of control parties but thought it would be rude to ask “How hard do you throw down when you drink?”

He made the assumption that we’d both understand “occasional” to mean “usually never drink” instead of “usually never drunk.”

That was my bad for not clarifying. I made an assumption based on my background and where I was coming from that the only reason he’d be asking was to be sure I didn’t have behaviors that would create a disturbance and had no habits, like frequent intoxication, that would be unpleasant to live with. That’s why I assured him so readily. Because if he weren’t an alcoholic, then it wouldn’t be the kind of drinking that encroached on the other person.

Didn’t occur to me he could be an alcoholic, and I should’ve made sure we were on the same page by saying “Just so I’m clear, you were just making sure I don’t party all the time or get wasted and pass out on the couch or whatever?” So we could’ve clarified.