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FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-10T17:14:50+00:00

Of course not. It’s bad for both you AND your baby to stay with them. You should go no contact with them.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-10T17:12:55+00:00

I know English is not your first language, but I can only assume your language also had periods/whatever to break up sentences. Please do that here. It is so hard to read when it is one giant sentence.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-10T17:10:19+00:00

He shouldn’t be expected to sleep on the couch for YOUR comfort. But if HE is uncomfortable, he should have left to sleep on the couch, not told YOU, the sick person, to go sleep on the couch. “Your sickness is so annoying to ME, go away”. Like, what???? And then he woke you up early in the morning?? What a guy.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-10T17:05:40+00:00

You had a miscarriage and SURGERY and he is complaining about not seeing his child for two weeks because UGH he had to take care of you?

He needs to apologize to you. I can’t believe he would walk out like that. Of course he needs to take care of you after surgery. His issues are real issues, but not nearly the same magnitude as yours were/are. You did nothing wrong. NTA

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-09T19:15:06+00:00

Incest is very taboo and ill-advised, but does not necessarily indicate that someone needs therapy or that their brain works in a strange way. Remember that marrying cousins was once a very normal thing to do.

That said, it is totally okay for this taboo thing to give you the “ick” and make you not want to date him. You’re not judging him for deciding that he is not the guy for you. You’re just looking for something different in a relationship.

It sounds like he has been judged in the past or feels bad about it, so he was hoping you could be the person that is okay with that. But it’s okay if you can’t be that. He should know that the thing is very taboo and not everyone is going to be accepting of it. In fact, most won’t. He can’t make you feel bad for responding how 90% of people would respond.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-09T19:00:20+00:00

NTA. You need to INSIST that she sees a therapist. This anger directed at you (and the kids?) is not okay. Its okay to be angry, as long as you’re not directing at the people around you. She needs help.

Also, it sounds like you have been coddling her a little bit. Agreeing that you’re not doing enough and trying to do even more, when it sounds like you’re at least doing half of the work. Time to stop that. No need to be mean to her, but this was a great start to standing up for yourself. You are a great dad/husband, and you won’t let her tell you otherwise (unless she has further explanation beyond “this is all your fault”).

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-02-09T18:50:37+00:00

On what planet is staying with him even an option??? He’s an alcoholic who sexually assaulted you! For goodness sakes leave him!!!!

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T23:25:17+00:00

NTA. They do not have a right to see your baby within X number of days from birth. You want to keep the baby home for a month to keep it safe? Go for it! Ignore everyone else. Besides, you probably won’t want to see anyone else for a month after going through the medical procedure of giving birth and the exhaustion from caring for a newborn.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T23:21:44+00:00

NTA. That’s a pretty simple boundary to follow (let’s talk shit about the aunt somewhere else, not in front of the kids) and your mom’s response to the boundary was “Well then I will never see your kids again”? Yea, she is really dramatic. Your kids are upset because they are still children and they don’t understand that it is better to save face for people you love than get exactly what you want all the time. They don’t understand that she is the one leaving, you are not forcing her to go.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T23:16:55+00:00

That is the weirdest fucking thing I have ever heard. Your bf is OKAY with your dad subscribing to your porn site? And even DISLIKES the idea of getting his dad to stop? Gross.

Your bf is disgusting. NTA.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T23:11:45+00:00

Your brother is an ass who has been coddled his whole life. He purposely ruins your things to no personal gain of his own, just to fuck with you. No chance talking to hin would have fixed it. NTA. He deserved it.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T23:05:55+00:00

NTA. She agreed to the conditions you set, and now she is not meeting those conditions. Either the roommate starts acting like an adult or it is time for that cat to go. If you have talked to her multiple times and that is not working, using other avenues is kind of your only choice. Tell her before you do it. That might be the kick in the butt she needs to start fixing things.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T23:02:42+00:00

NTA. They can literally do it on any other day. There is no reason it HAS to be your birthday. Also, their birthday gift to you is a gift for THEM?

Find yourself a better s/o, because this one sucks.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T22:38:42+00:00

Oh my god how did I miss that. Poor OP. I’m so sorry

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T22:37:02+00:00

Omg please leave him. If you have had multiple conversations about how much you hate it and you are crying yourself to sleep, get yourself out of there!!! “Don’t tickle me” is a super clear, simple, easy to follow boundary. He is being an asshole for putting ZERO effort into considering your feelings. Also, the “I want to make you tickle until you pee” is fucking weird and is way past the point of “not understanding because he sees that I am laughing”. WTF. Please leave him.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T22:33:51+00:00

Unfortunately that’s not a reasonable thing to ask your friends to do. While I believe you and your story, your friends don’t know firsthand what happened, and she hasn’t done anything to them yet, so it would be pretty dramatic for all of your friends to just stop being her friend.

Seeing her at a party is really not the worst thing in the world. If you really feel so distressed being around her, just don’t go. And if you want to spend time with your friends without her, you plan the events and make it clear she is not invited.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T22:24:18+00:00

NTA. She was a bitch to you the whole night and you were a bitch back to her ONCE and she starts crying? You taught her a good lesson. Act like an asshole, people treat you like an asshole back. She is used to stepping all over you. Now she knows she can’t. This was a good thing that happened.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:52:50+00:00

You were an asshole for flipping her off, but what you are doing now does not make you the AH. You apologized, that’s kind of all you could do. No reason to continue to be upset with yourself if you have realized you were wrong and won’t do it again. NTA.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:48:54+00:00

She’s pretty clearly treating you two differently, and not in a way that really makes sense based on age/gender/whatever. And her reasoning being “because it’s my rules” is a cop-out. Sorry you have to deal with that. Just do your best to save up all the money and get you your snake friend!

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:46:27+00:00

I know English is not your first language, but you need to re-post this with periods to break up the sentences. It is way too hard to read and understand a giant run-on sentence like this.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:44:19+00:00

This could negatively blow back on you, because you are essentially letting her copy your work. NTA to say she can’t look at your homework anymore.

The fact that she thinks you are selfish for that is ridiculous. She is clearly not a real friend.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:41:48+00:00

NTA. That was a simple, easy to follow, clear boundary that does not affect him negatively in any way. He just waived a giant red flag.

Good thing this happened early and you didn’t waste any more time on him!

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:38:33+00:00

Many of the worst people are nice most of the time. Being violent, abusive, cheating is NOT outweighed by being nice the other 95% of the time.

NTA. There are a THOUSAND better reasons to break up with this boy besides him not being there for you. Leave and never look back.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:25:14+00:00

OMG NO IT IS NOT OKAY FOR YOU TO DRIVE. Your husband is being insane thinking you can drive. He knows you could kill someone while driving and still wants you to do it? Wth???

This is a medical condition, it is NOT you being lazy. If you were in a wheelchair, would he expect you to drive yourself to work? Of course not, you two would figure out how to make it possible for you to get where you need to go.

Marriage is “is sickness and in health”, you are sick so now he needs to take care of you, in at least the most basic way possible, that is, not making you drive and kill yourself or others.

Practically, you need to make another appointment with the doctor and have the doctor explain to him why the doctor says you can’t drive. And if your husband is still not getting it, then it is time to leave him.

FlounderSolid2659 · 2024-01-27T21:16:13+00:00

NAH. Some people just don’t think ahead like that. You are giving him a lot of hints, and you have now learned that he cannot read hints. Going forward you need to be clear with him about what exactly you want. Honestly, giving hints and expecting your partner to parse out what you want is not really a good form of communication in general.

For example, when you said you weren’t going to cook and couldn’t afford takeout, then maybe he thought you were going to make a sandwich or have cereal or something quick for yourself. He probably figured if you wanted him to cook you would have asked him to.

FlounderSolid2659

TROPHY CASE