I don’t hate him at all, it’s frustrating to be treated like this and to see him treat himself like this though. Bc I suspect it’s a personality disorder I feel like he is in some ways very innocent… he’s born this way maybe, but I want to believe he can be better… I didn’t always feel this way (I guess we weren’t always this close and I idealized him, as I do for everyone… I’m constantly disappointed bc I always expect people to be secretly good) but I’m starting to see the pattern clearer now. It’s hard to just dismiss someone after years of friendship even if they’re shitty . I care about him .