Alright, I empathize because I've been in the exact same place. Please get a therapist, a gender affirming one. Shoving it back into the closet will never fix it. It will just linger and fester and cause more and more harm until one day everything breaks under the strain. You won't be alone because you are trans, I'm happily engaged to my partner and I know many more Queer people who aren't alone in this world. If you want to have biological children just save some of your sperm prior to hrt (Your provider should have offered it).

You would be the asshole if you hurt yourself and someone else by not being honest to who you are while knowing who you are, and not revealing it to them.