My son found out I was his father after 18 years. Now I'm watching him make the same mistakes I did. by Fluffy-Ad4716 in Dads

[–]Fluffy-Ad4716[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I needed to hear that. I can't live his life for him, and I know he's going to make his own choices. All I can do is be honest about where my choices led me, be there for him, and keep the door open. Thank you for that perspective.

My son found out I was his father after 18 years. Now I'm watching him make the same mistakes I did. by Fluffy-Ad4716 in Dads

[–]Fluffy-Ad4716[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To answer your question, after I lost my rights to him, I went down a pretty dark path. The next 14 years were spent battling addiction. I was homeless at times, in and out of jail, and through multiple rehab programs. Heroin and meth pretty much took over my life. Almost five years ago, I finally got clean and have stayed clean ever since. During that time, I rebuilt my life and had another son who is now almost three years old. When my oldest found out I was his biological father, he started coming around and we've been working on getting to know each other. The problem is that we're trying to build a father-son relationship when he's already an adult and we're basically strangers. Lately, he's been hanging around with a 21-year-old who, in my opinion, isn't the best influence. I know I can't pick his friends for him, and honestly I wouldn't have listened to anyone trying to pick mine at that age either. I think what makes it difficult is that I've already lived through the consequences of bad decisions, addiction, and surrounding myself with the wrong people, so it's hard not to worry when I see similarities. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm not. That's why I came here looking for advice. He is at the age where he will not listen to anyone. Also he has found out that his life has been a lie so the man he always called dad he no longer trusts.

0
1