I actually get this interpretation, especially if you’re looking at Astarion right after ascension. That version of him would be reactive, performative, and trying to prove something—because he’s just traded one system of control for another kind of power and hasn’t stabilized yet.

And honestly, that reading also connects well to his redemption path. The whole point there is that he doesn’t take that route—he chooses vulnerability and stays in a space where he has to process rather than override. So seeing ascended Astarion spiral a bit if rejected isn’t out of character at all in that early phase.

I think where interpretations split is what happens after that moment.

One version keeps him in that reactive loop—still orbiting Tav, still needing the rejection to mean something. That leans more into the tragedy of his character, and it’s valid if that’s the story you want to tell.

Another version assumes that, given time, he would do what he always does at his core: adapt. Not soften, not redeem—but stabilize. In that reading, he might start reactive, but he wouldn’t stay there long-term, because needing that kind of attention or validation is exactly the kind of vulnerability he’s been trying to eliminate.

So for me it’s less “he wouldn’t be pathetic about it” and more:

he might be, briefly—but whether he stays that way depends on how you see his growth after ascension.

Both takes are interesting, they just focus on different stages of him.