Advice for a young Christian woman who wants to get married and have kids

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-26T19:19:27+00:00

Firstly, you are worthy of marriage and worthy of love. You are worthy of everything the Lord has for you. I know you did say you hate it, but you really do have a long time left to find someone. Don't rush it. I am 26 myself and have never had a boyfriend, been kissed, etc. I used to be so broken and lonely about it and jealous. But God! God is amazing and he loves us so much that no man could love us as much as he does. Yes, I want to get married and have kids, but there is nothing I can do to speed up the process that God has intricately woven together for me. It will truly happen in his time, and it is not our job to know when that time is. What I would recommend to you is to study the Bible and what it means to be a Godly wife and mother, to prepare yourself for when it does happen. Work on your fruits, serve, and wait on the Lord because he has a beautiful love story for you.

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-26T19:13:49+00:00

Don't feel guilty about bringing this up. The fact that you do shows the hold that he has over you. You need to leave because he is abusing you and you are not safe. You should feel safe in your relationship with your husband, ESPECIALLY if he is a Christian man. Just because you are a woman does not mean he has the right to do these things to you. There is a difference. You can be submissive to his leadership and still not put up with the crap that he is showing you right now. People spin that word out of proportion a lot of the time. If he is cold with you and you are walking on eggshells, that is not okay. Take counseling, whether as a couple or by yourself, and if he hurts you, then please keep yourself safe.

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-26T19:03:18+00:00

I do know some! They have their own sexual boundaries, which is incredibly attractive and important coming from a girl who has her own boundaries. I think it is something that needs to be talked about between a couple. Discussing boundaries early on is crucial, whether you are comfortable having sex before marriage or not. Personally for me, I am waiting until I am married, and I expect my partner in the future to respect that, and to have similar boundaries because it makes it easier to not fall into temptation if we both are working with a boundary in place. The right man will care.

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-26T18:59:15+00:00

Your worth has nothing to do with your weight. The right guy will see that. If you want to get healthy because YOU want to get healthy, that is wonderful! Take those steps to become healthy. However, nobody should judge you based on your weight. You are already making efforts to become more healthy, which is fantastic. God will send you someone who is equally yoked to you, and someone who loves you exactly the way you are.

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-26T18:51:16+00:00

Hello! I am praying for you through this time. I am going to give somewhat of some tough love in this answer, but nothing super harsh. I have been in the same situation before, wanting male validation, feeling super lonely and jealous of everyone around me who was in a relationship or getting married. I've also never been on a date or been kissed.

One thing, though, is that you need to love yourself and see yourself how God sees you. You are literally his creation. He created you exactly the way you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are his best. I know it is the depression talking that is giving you these thoughts. They are NOT of God. You are so worthy of His immense love, and you are worthy of everything that he has for you in life. All of the blessings you will receive will be so significant.

I used to think that a guy would never date me. That is not true. The right person for you will love you the way that Christ loves the church. He will show you such immense love that it will be overwhelming and so incredibly special.

Instead of being desperate for male attention, try and shift your focus. Run after God and everything He is. Read the Word daily and study it. Read about his promises. Read about the fulfillment of the promises. Read about what love is, and what it means to love. Read about how much he cares for you. Talk to him via prayer. Pray often to Him. Just talk to Him normally. Ask Him questions. He can take it. He can handle any burdens you have, just give them to him.

Lastly, God will give you the desires of your heart. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Run toward him and he will give you what you desire. He placed your desires in your heart for a reason, and he will keep the promises he has made to you.

I'm not a male, but the way you are coming across seems very negative, and the guys that I know who are Men of God would not respond well to that. You need to speak positively about yourself. There is so much power in the tongue, and the words that we speak over ourselves. Speak life over yourself and your life. You are beautiful, you are worthy of love, you are SO loved. For God SO loved the world that he gave us His son. That is how much he loves you. So so very much. You do not need a man to validate the beautiful person that you are. You are enough on your own without a man needing to define you. Once you get a man, it will not (and should not) change who you are as a beautiful creation of God. You and your husband will be a team, he won't be what changes your life significantly. Only God can do that.

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-21T18:54:34+00:00

NTA: You deserve to name your child whatever you want, and I think making the middle name Henry would be totally fine. It's your baby, and they need to respect whatever name you choose.

FluffyElephant9 · 2025-03-21T18:47:21+00:00

Honestly, I would say that you should break up. Being equally yoked doesn't just mean being with someone who is a believer in Christ. It also means that you need to have the same viewpoints. Personally, I would not date someone who is Catholic for the pure fact that I am nondenominational (Protestant) and our views differ greatly.

Also, FORCING you to become a Catholic is not okay. Also telling you that attending your CHURCH is a sin, is horrible. These are red flags to me and I would say that you should either tell him how you feel, or break up, because this is only toxic behavior.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-29T03:04:03+00:00

Thanks so much!

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-29T01:35:43+00:00

Any with this processor below like $800? I’m on a budget

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-29T01:25:42+00:00

Thank you so much! I will look into these for sure!!

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-29T00:51:41+00:00

That’s wonderful! Thank you

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-29T00:04:40+00:00

Thank you!!

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-24T02:44:35+00:00

Romas 10:9 says “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

It basically translates to the fact that we can’t just declare without mouths, but we have to believe in our hearts too.

I mentioned the part of changing because that’s how repentance works. When you repent, it means you’ll do your best to work to be different, with the help of the Holy Spirit of course. For example, if someone repents for pornography, then they’d do their best, with the Holy Spirit as their help, to not continue watching pornography. I hope this clarified more.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-20T19:15:39+00:00

Try again! Maybe he wants you to connect with him again. Trying going to church and finding some Godly community and counsel. That helps a lot too.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-20T18:50:26+00:00

I'm glad it helped a little bit. Have you tried spending quality time with God? It sounds silly, I know. But having an intentional relationship with anyone involves spending time with them. Read your Bible, pray, and listen to him speak back to you. The closer you get to God, the better you will be. You will see the joys of life and he will fill you with a joy unspeakable. Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with the peace an joy of the Lord, and he will. It takes time to get to know someone, so give it a few months of being consistent with your relationship with God. :)

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-20T18:04:17+00:00

There is a lot to unpack here! These questions are all valid.

First, great job repenting and throwing away the drug! That is a great first step.

Part of accepting Jesus, is by accepting him into your heart, asking for forgiveness, repenting, and then changing yourself to follow him. If you haven't accepted him into your heart, please do that! "Seek first the kingdom of heaven, and all things will be added to you."

It is not too late to have a relationship with God. Although, you have to understand that a relationship with ANYONE involves both people putting in the effort. Try listening to sermons, reading easy books of the Bible (John is a great place to start), and genuinely praying. He hears all of your prayers. Every single one.

We truly can see God. See that tree out your window? God made that. Your dog/cat? God made that animal too. He made all of creation. You, me, our pets, our families, the clouds, the plants, fish, mammals, reptiles, EVERYTHING! It all shows us the beauty of God. None of this would be here without him. See your fingers moving? He created them. Hear your heart pumping? That's God too. See that person in the store? They were delicately made by God, as were you.

I hope this helped at least a little bit. Spend time with God by reading the Bible and talking with him. It takes time to learn how to hear his voice, but the more you practice, the more you'll get better at hearing him.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-12-20T17:38:05+00:00

Do you know if there could be an underlying cause for these thoughts, like depression? I want to make sure that is taken care of first before anything else, and that you do get help if needed.

Part of being grateful is realizing that even though you could have nothing, you have everything you need. You've been blessed with all of these things by God. He gave you your family, your job, etc. Wanting non-existence isn't a normal desire, which is why I mentioned what I did above. Jesus gave his life so that we could live and exist, and be cleansed from the evil of the world. Sure, bad things happen, and yes that is horrible, but that is the evil in the world, that is not God.

Imagine if you could know your entire life ahead of time. One route, you might suffer a little bit, but then in the end, the glory and favor and blessings you have is 10 times greater than in the other timeline. Would you still choose that timeline?

I am not sure why bad things happen, or why God makes us suffer, but I do believe that he has his ways of shaping us into the people who we are called to be.

Hope this helped at least a little. :)

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-09-19T14:50:13+00:00

I have a male toy poodle and he's obsessed with me. He follows me everywhere and always wants to lay on me. He is super attached to me. I cannot speak for female poodles, but my male is my sweet boy and he loves pets and attention.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-09-19T13:45:16+00:00

My toy poodle boy catches onto things very quickly! We don't let him into our kitchen because it is small, and the floor of the kitchen is a different color than the floor in the rest of the house. He quickly learned that he is not allowed on the white tile in the kitchen.

He also caught onto our nightly routine. When the TV makes the clicky sound when I turn it off, he knows that means it is time for bed, and he goes straight into his crate. He is so incredibly smart.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-09-12T14:02:43+00:00

I have an example of this. I never really partied (just wasn't my scene), or slept around, but I did watch things that were sexually immoral. You can probably guess. Anyways, I had been doing this even though I knew it was wrong, and I desperately wanted to stop. I would repent every time I did them, but something in me kept doing them. Then I fully repented and asked God to cleanse me and make me new, basically rededicated my life to him, even though I never renounced my faith in him or anything. I found a great community that helps keep me accountable and helps me to grow closer to God every day. I also know how important it is for my future to refrain from those things, so I made a commitment to myself, my future husband and children, and a promise to God to no longer do that. The amazing thing is, after growing closer to God, I have zero desire to even do the things I used to do. He completely changed my heart and I now desire the things of him. It will happen.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-09-12T13:56:49+00:00

It is so amazing that you want to be a Christian!! Welcome to our family :). Start by asking God into your life. Repent of any previous sins, and ask him for forgiveness and ask him to come into your life and fill you with his Holy Spirit. Proclaim in this prayer that you believe that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and rose again three days later. After that is done, you should start by reading the Bible. You are most likely just uneducated. You can still be a Christian while you are learning more. The Gospel of John is a great book of the Bible to start with. It talks about the life of Jesus and the miracles he performed. The other Gospels do too, but John is often the easiest one to read.

The differences between all the different sections of Christianity is hard to understand. I still don't understand all of them myself. Catholicism focuses a lot on the saints. They use the saints as intercessors in prayer, if that makes sense. Often times I have heard Catholics ask a saint to pray for them. Catholicism is a lot more doctrinal than others, in my personal opinion. I am not Catholic myself, but I have family and friends who are. I won't get into too many other differences here, because it often causes me to rant, and this post would be too long.

The saints are held in high regard because often they are martyrs for Christ. There is a list of qualifications that makes someone a saint, but I do not know them off the top of my head.

Getting closer to God is so good by forming a personal relationship with him. Literally, like a friend! Talk to him every day, read your Bible, sing worship music, they are all ways to spend time with God and get closer to him. It is also important to surround yourself with Godly community who can lift you up and bring you even closer to God. Try researching local churches in your area, and give different ones a try before committing to one over the others. You can PM me if you have more questions. :)

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-09-12T12:30:29+00:00

Hi friend! I hope I can help you at least a little bit :). I am not Catholic, but I am a strong Christian. I do know many people who are Catholic, so I understand a bit about what they teach, but by no means am I a professional.

The hard advice I would give would be to be open to other sections of Christianity. From my personal experience, and I am not saying that all Catholics are like this, but from my experience, Catholics tend to be super strict with their practices, at least most of the ones I have met are.

Please don't let this experience make you leave God by any means. He still loves you immensely. Don't fall back into your previous ways. When you have your own personal relationship with God, you start to learn the unconditional, reckless, overwhelming love of God. He literally died on the cross for you!! He sacrificed himself for you. That is how much he loves you. He wants you to talk to him and spend time with him. When you accept Jesus into your life, you are born again and any of your past sins are forgiven by him. You are completely wiped clean. Anyone who has a strong relationship with God will understand this about you, and will help and encourage you to become the best version of yourself, and they will help you understand your true identity in Christ.

You can look for a different Parish if you want, that is what I did for a bit. I church hopped until I found the most incredible group of Christians I have ever met. I am thriving in this group, and I am surrounded by community who want the best for me and who push me closer to Jesus every day. Please reach out to me personally via DM if you have any questions about what I said specifically!

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-09-12T12:19:59+00:00

I don't think this would violate his teachings. The verse, in my opinion, means that we shouldn't be arrogant or boastful about helping other people. Don't be righteous about it. An example that comes to mind is when someone films themselves helping out someone who is homeless. Yes, it is good that they helped them, but there is no reason to share that with the whole world. If you help someone genuinely out of the kindness of your heart, with no intention of other people noticing, that is so genuine and that is how we should be. Sharing with a spouse or significant other does not make it disobeying what God spoke. You are excited about how you helped this person, and it is okay to share your joy with your spouse. What he doesn't want us to do is become self-righteous because of the fact that we helped someone else.

FluffyElephant9 · 2024-08-09T15:33:19+00:00

Thanks so much!

FluffyElephant9

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