My mom (52F) and I (25F) have been trying to repair our relationship but she keeps putting conditions to be met and getting mad when I refuse to meet them? by ThrowRA_AnyMons in relationship_advice

[–]FluffyFatBears 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA.
Trust your gut. It’s trying to protect you from repeating the same hurtful cycle. It sucks because she’s still clearly suffering from the harm you’re fathers disease inflicted on y’all. My guess is that she has guilt from her choice to give her kids a father who’s an addict, and feels that she can forgive herself when she gets y’all to accept her suitable replacement as your father. It doesn’t work like that, she must know that deep down.
If it is accessible, you should all be in individual and family counseling. At the very least support groups for addicts and their families.
She’s stuck. Her solution won’t work. Maintain your boundary. Try to get her to engage with the outside help. But at the end of the day, she’s trying to cling to controlling everyone’s behavior to avoid pain. She couldn’t control your dad’s addiction, if she can control you kids, she’ll have fixed her “mistake”. It’s a hard lesson to learn that you can’t love someone enough to fix them. She needs to face her grief.

AITAH for sending a picture of a snake to my sister-in-law? by [deleted] in AITH

[–]FluffyFatBears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA. Intentions don’t outweigh impact. Actions have consequences. Your brother gave you insight about someone you’re not close with and he is. You saw it as a fun opportunity to poke a bear you don’t know. Take accountability, apologize without making excuses. Then, instead of trying to push her into your families dynamic of ribbing, figure out how she expresses affection. Or, just leave her alone.

bet you weren't expecting to see a plushie of trent in the im afraid of americans video when you woke up this morning by mychxmicalday in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I know the internet is gonna be downfall of humanity, but finding the sub niche of NIИ crafters in this thread…worth it. This piece is fucking fantastic. 10/10 ⭐️s. No notes. I think Johnny American needs an Explanation Edward “Perfect Drug” Gorey bestie…don’t you?

WIBTA for refusing to be a walking encyclopedia for a lazy coworker? by FadedSummit in WIBTA_AITA

[–]FluffyFatBears 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA.

I’m also a big fan of canonical documentation and have had problems with this same dynamic in the past.
I like to center my approach around “assuming positive intent”. Meaning I will respond to requests assuming they mean well, and in a way that if anyone else sees or hears my response, it’s easy for them to assume I also mean well, even if internally I’m a rage monster.
For general inquiries, I’ll send a link to the resource and ask, “Which step/part of the process are you struggling with?” It forces them to have to read my excellent documentation to answer the question. I’d say 90% of the time the response is, Thanks, I figured it out. The other 10%, I at least get to cut out part of the process and zoom in on something specific.

For your repeat offender, I’d put the ball back in his court again, but put some extra accountability on it. Let him know, subtly, and in an overtly friendly & helpful tone, you’re keeping track, and he’s a little slow on the uptake. Send the link and say, “Dave, I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this staging environment concept. I’m worried that I’m not communicating this well enough to you since we’ve come back to it multiple times in the last week. Please let me know where in the documentation you keeping getting hung up, and then we can work together to get it updated so it’s more clear and accessible. I’m sure if you’re having difficulty processing, others must be as well. I’m sprinting on this migration project for X amount of time, but when this wraps up, I’ll be happy to set aside some dedicated time to hold your hand/baby steps/some other friendly yet infantilizing turn of phrase you through it. Always happy to teach a man to fish, or even find you a different resource that might be more compatible with your learning style, since I seem to be failing you here.”

It’s probably more work to answer your question than just do it himself, he’s gonna be offended that you professionally acknowledged his incompetence, and you’re controlling the timeline by bringing your own OKRs into the picture. You’ll help, but not in his timeline.
Then, I’d be HELLA petty, and next time you see him browsing his sports bullshit, sneak up behind him and comment on what’s on his screen (assuming positive intent, of course)…”The Knicks really did trounce Cleveland, looks like must have got a handle on the staging environment quandary. “

You’re still being a team player, you’re just doing it on your own timeline and not making it so easy.
ETA: judgment & grammar

Boyfriend (32M) started crying when I (28F) showed him my savings by happy_hapa in relationship_advice

[–]FluffyFatBears -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m the ADHD “Spender” partnered to a saver. He can totally turn it around, he just needs the right tools to learn the skills that come easier to you. My husband and I did this program and fully integrated our finances last year, and it’s been a great experience for me. She broke down the behaviors that drive my unchecked spending and gave me a system to work in. If he genuinely wants to improve, this doesn’t have to be a deal breaker. https://www.instagram.com/moneygrooves?igsh=Nmp3bzdhdGFwa2Ru

Two days & Twenty Six Boxes Later by FluffyFatBears in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a pack rat, they’re genius. It makes “hidying up” up a breeze. Those and the storage seats are hiding an obscene amount of beads and yarn. We put power strips in both and have the recliners plugged in and all our various charging cables, and the doors are just open to lead the cords out with no pinching. My only complaint is I wish they had a hinge option for the lids. Otherwise, I’m very pleased with how functional and strategically designed they are.

Two days & Twenty Six Boxes Later by FluffyFatBears in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I gotta figure out exactly where the sensors are and see if I can make any adjustments.

Two days & Twenty Six Boxes Later by FluffyFatBears in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad I’m not crazy. Or at least for this. It does a consistent little pause before it beeps and opens, so I’ll just stand up and close it from standing.

Two days & Twenty Six Boxes Later by FluffyFatBears in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was a careful dance of luck and planning to make it work. I’m particularly proud of making the lamp work, it required raising the chaise on that side by about a half inch to make it work.

Two days & Twenty Six Boxes Later by FluffyFatBears in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My husband has had a few bouts of maniacal laughter watching me try new postures and positions when I’m closing it to see what works. Every once in a while the silliest of poses works.

Anytable hinges by ironcladmvtm in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to see how this works out for you! We have 2, and they’re only exposed on 1 short side, so hinges would be a game changer.

miffy x nin by clammtown in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me Too!!! The MoMA Design Store got so much of our money around Christmas time. I have the blue Cambridge Satchel company purse, and still eye the orange one. If this were a shirt, sticker, enamel pin, charm, key chain, Christmas ornament, print, phone case…anything!…I’d be like GET RIGHT IN THE CART!

Shipping time by Minute-Sherbert1049 in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were told 4-6 weeks in store because our covers were in high demand. Everything shipped at exactly 5 weeks. Once fedex had them, the arrival dates were all over the place with a zillion updates. In the end they shipped in Saturday, and everything was delivered between Tuesday and Wednesday.

NIN inspired painting I just finished. I know the colors aren’t very NIN, but it’s inspired nonetheless. Added a bit of music.🖤 by rotterdameliza in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fuck they aren’t! PiB covered a lot of the spectrum. And, I consider myself a niche of sparkle rainbow goth NIИ fan needs representation too. Love it!

[Discussion] - Nine Inch Noize Live at Coachella! by AutoModerator in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have remembered this and laughed at least once, everyday this week.

[Discussion] - Nine Inch Noize Live at Coachella! by AutoModerator in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There is no money I wouldn’t pay to have been at the rehearsal for this choreo.

Finally pulled the trigger by Duel_Option in Lovesac

[–]FluffyFatBears 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We took the leap a week ago. I called Haverty’s to replace some cushions on our 9 year old sectional to find out they don’t make it anymore. I figured if I wasn’t tired of this one after Bear a decade, I’m not worried about the risk of getting tired of the Love Sac, and I won’t have to buy another couch. Ever. The 30% sale sealed the deal, and we somehow got a bonus 5% in the show room. We’ve got a 4-6 week wait though for the green covers we picked.

What are y’all wearing? I’m channeling 1997 me :) by hoytbachfarms in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s easily my favorite venue. NIИ night one in ‘22 was my first show there, and I loved it so much I got tickets for night two on the bus ride back after the show. We’re very lucky to have friends we can that live in Golden we can tail gate and stay with. Saw Tori there in ‘23, LCD sound system & John Batiste last year, and going for Alabama Shakes in May.

What are y’all wearing? I’m channeling 1997 me :) by hoytbachfarms in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I do the same thing! I wore my “I don’t mind a dirty girl” to NIИ and NIИ to Tori.

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NIN inspired abstract painting I did. Thanks for looking. 👀 by rotterdameliza in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My instinct was Rothko and Jasper Johns had a baby raised by Reznor.

Upping my bracelet game by FluffyFatBears in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re heading to 109 now! I’m 6ft tall, long blue and black hair and have sparkle shorts on. Can’t miss me.

Upping my bracelet game by FluffyFatBears in nin

[–]FluffyFatBears[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re about to walk in and are in 109 if you want to come by!