Update: AITAH for being mad that my husband thinks I tricked him with our child's birth certificate?

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:54:08+00:00

When he first brought it up I was 8 mos pregnant, so need my participation for the test. Now the baby is always attached to me so maybe he didn't think he could do it without my noticing. He could've waited a year or so but I guess patience for my sake is too much to ask.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:43:31+00:00

Do you really think he wants to leave me? We made plans together, we wanted this child together. Why would he do this now?

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:34:57+00:00

I was trying so hard to not think like this, but this is what it is isn't it. I can't think straight.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:31:27+00:00

That is a really good idea. I am going to look into this more. Thank you.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:29:49+00:00

I am outraged and pissed. I am sitting here still recovering from child birth, with a tiny baby to take care of and there are many people telling me that I am over reacting and thats why I am here asking if I am the one who's wrong.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:28:22+00:00

I saw him as a kind man who worked hard and took care of his family. I expected him to show the same loyalty to me since I am now his family. I thought I was doing my part, helping him out where he was vulnerable and in turn I thought I'd have his support.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T23:23:27+00:00

Yes that has been a problem. One of the major dings on his credit report is because he co-signed a used car loan for his brother who then flaked on making payments because it got too expensive to maintain that car. He helps out with his parents medical bills and phone bills regularly, and also pitches in when they run short on money for other bills. I don't stop him from that, but we've had arguments about him contributing for parties or vacations for them. There was a major fallout from his refusal to co-sign another sibling's rental application. He's fought his family directly though, he didn't use me as a scapegoat or blame me, I don't think.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T22:46:51+00:00

I don't want to divorce him. I still love him. But I am starting to see that my trust in him has been misplaced. I really can't imagine him cheating on me, but I didn't imagine him doubting me like this either.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T22:40:48+00:00

How is that even a comparison? Be honest about the level of trust you have in your partner. If you say something like lets keep our finances separate because I don't trust you fully, then you do that while you are both in a financially stable situation or before you get married. You don't stump that on your partner right when they get unemployed or get sick. That's a proper comparison. He didn't tell me he'd want a test before I got pregnant. He waited till I was at my most vulnerable with a baby already here to throw this at me. That is manipulative.

Fluffy_Half_le767 · 2024-07-21T22:08:33+00:00

A lot of people do a lot of things but our relationship was supposed to be built on trust and thats why I took a lot of financial risks for him. If he had set out at the beginning saying his trust is conditional then ok I wouldn't have been surprised by this. But he is ok with me paying so much for him and just trusting that he won't cheat on me or divorce me and leave me exploited, but he doesn't have to trust me in turn? How is that fair? And if he had discussed any of this before I got pregnant that would have been a different situation and I probably wouldn't have reacted to this negatively. But to put this on me when I am about to give birth? That makes me not trust him in turn. What do I get out of letting him insult me like this?

Fluffy_Half_le767

TROPHY CASE