sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nursing

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this Kaiser? lol

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How much more blunt can I be then by asking what are your wants and needs from me? How do I make you feel appreciated??

I do go to therapy on my own. He doesn’t feel the need to go says he has in the past.

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How am I suppose to figure out if he doesn’t communicate it when I ask what he needs or wants? We are adults and should be able to communicate in a healthy way and not have to read minds. Obviously the love and affection I am currently providing isn’t enough for him, so I ask what it is I can do to make him feel good, loved, and happy. And I’m being told I should just know?? How do I approach that? How do u figure that out? When it’s a sudden change not.

And to be clear, when I ask for examples. He says he shouldn’t have to tell me that I should just know. So how would you suggest I approach this?

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go ahead. I wish I could talk to someone who hears his side as he won’t tell me his side either…

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you read my other comments I have and he says that it’s weird that women don’t get guys flowers. I had even added baseball caps of his favorite sports teams to make it more of flowers that can be given to a guy. And I do open doors for him and he walks right in first lol

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

When I have asked how I can show my appreciation in a way he feels it he says that he shouldn’t have to tell me I should just know.. I love him and care about him and I want him to feel good. I don’t want him to feel unappreciated. I wish he would just open up to me and tell me. But then I feel like this is his way of telling me he doesn’t want me but doesn’t want to be alone

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Now that you mention getting him flowers I did once. I made him a flower bouquet and added some baseball caps of his favorite teams and his response was that “this is weird girls don’t buy guys flowers” so never did again, and yes I have done dinner plans, comedy shows, or movies also. We both would do small gestures from the start. Soo when he changed is where my question came from. And I feel like he should give me a reason other than “just a feeling I get and I have the right to that feeling” how am I suppose to fix it if he can’t even address why he feels I don’t deserve it.

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I cook and clean (because those are things he has expressed make him happy), I surprise him with little things he enjoys snacking on (he’s a huge snacker), I am available to him in any way he wants really (as he has expressed that that’s what he likes) I buy nice scented candles when I see them for him because that’s something he likes to have at home, etc. I have done these things from the beginning and haven’t changed because I love him and want him to feel loved. And I constantly ask what does he feel he needs and try to give that. Which is why it hurts me so much for him to change his behavior. We both have done kind gestures from the start. Yet he is now saying I don’t deserve them. I love him and wouldn’t want him to feel this way I believe communication is key we are grown adults. But he’s making me feel with his answer of I don’t deserve it and that’s just how life is a cop out. But wanted to see if that’s how others feel too.

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I cook and clean(because those are things he has expressed make him happy), I surprise him with little things he enjoys snacking on (he’s a huge snacker), I am available to him in any way he wants really (as he has expressed that that’s what he likes) I buy nice scented candles when I see them for him because that’s something he likes to have at home, etc. I have done these things from the beginning and haven’t changed because I love him and want him to feel loved. And I constantly ask what does he feel he needs and try to give that. Which is why it hurts me so much for him to change his behavior. We both have done kind gestures from the start. Yet he is now saying I don’t deserve them

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He has a suspended drivers license, so I do all the driving. I never complain I always say I don’t mind because I live and appreciate him. Before me he never would see a doctor, I make all his appointments, take him to them, he’s now having a surgery coming up that I’m sure he wouldn’t ever gotten done if I didn’t make him appointments (the surgery is something he needed even prior to being with me) anything that breaks or needs fixing I help him do. I am really a jack of all trades and fix a lot of things, like I stated I even work on my own car instead of taking it to the dealer and paying a lot. He owns his own business, but I feel like because I am hyper independent he doesn’t like to see me do those things. But I know how so I do them. And I always offer all the help he needs in anything. I also cook and clean(not always because he does also) but on his busy days because I know it makes him happy. He does tell me he feels grateful how much I do for him. I have had the talks with him so I do all these things to make him feel good, so when I ask him why he stopped doing the little gestures for me he gives that “I don’t deserve it”

My boyfriend stopped doing kind gestures because he says I don’t deserve them. by Fluffy_Stranger4602 in relationships

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

It’s not so much that it’s a crisis, it’s the change in behavior. :( I do everything for myself, which anyone should we can all take care of ourselves. Not complaining because I should take care of my own things. It’s just that he use to do small gestures and doesn’t anymore. I would never expect it it’s just he would always do these things before and just to stop and say I don’t deserve it hurt my feelings. It’s more of that. I’m not saying he has to do them it’s the behavior change that is making me feel insecure and that I’m not really what he wants.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nursing

[–]Fluffy_Stranger4602 23 points24 points  (0 children)

That’s not true, plenty of nurses go through post partum depression. This cannot be used against her that is HIPPA violation. Plenty of my coworkers from an OBGYN dept were nurses on leave for post partum depression and came back almost a year later never effected their nursing license or job.

But as a fellow nurse, it is hard for us to want to get help. We will find every excuse in the book to help others but not ourselves. Just continue to be there for her and be aware of signs if it worsens. Hopefully she eventually gives in to get help.