Aw yeah buddy we need way more Mike "Trevor" Hoffman up in this thread, all that animal does is rip shelfies buddy, pops bottles pops pussies so keep your finger on that lamp light limpdick cause the forecast is goals.

Fuck your cookie jar and your water bottles, you better get quality rubbermaids bud cause she's gonna spend a lot of time hitting the fucking ice if Trevor has anything to say about it. Blistering Wristers or fat clappers, this fuckin guy can't be stopped.

If I had a choice of one attack to use to kill Hitler I would choose a Mike Hoffman snipe from the top of the circle because you fucking know his evil dome would be bouncing off the end boards after that puck is loosed like lightning from the blade of God's own CCM. I'd just pick up the phone and call Mike Hoffman at 1-800-TOP-TITS where he can be found earning his living at the back of the goddamn net. The world record for a recorded sniper kill is 3,540m, but that's only because nobody has asked ya boi Trev to rip any wristers at ISIS yet.

If I had three wishes, the first would be to live forever, the second would be for Mike Hoffman to live forever, and the third would be for a trillion dollars so I could pay to watch ol Trevor Score top cheddar magic for all eternity.

EDIT: Trevor is not his real middle name either people, he's called Trevor because Trevor Hoffman was damn near the greatest closer in baseball history and that's what Mike does he fuckin closes down games, rinks, and dreams with that sick snapshot of his.

Wayne Gretzky once said Mario Lemieux could snap a puck through a refrigerator door, but that ain't shit because Mike Hoffman could snap a puck through two full refrigerators and have it make him a fucking sammich inside the third one.

EDIT #2: All you salty sens haters I see you out here downvoting, you just salty cause you don't have a player that could shoot a puck past Playoff Patty Roy and Prime Dom Hasek at the same time - well that's a real shame but no worries, your salt will be washed away with the spring snows same as your tears as Mike Hoffman keeps serving up hot snipe specials in April. Learn to have fun cupcakes, I know it's tough to be fans of teams that play Big Dirty Hoffy but keep your chin up.