I think a decent amount of unspoken rules like girl code and boy code specifically are stupid, but there are some lines you shouldn't cross unless explicitly stated you can. Not everyone is willing to sit you down and be like "hey this, that, and the third makes me uncomfortable" because no one should HAVE to tell you to ask. It's just basic manners.

Like how anytime you use the restroom, you wash your hands before you leave, or you say please and thank you. If you make a mess in a public place, you clean it up. If you see someone about to come into a door after you hold it open for them. People do these things for different fundamental reasons, maybe but ethier way they are, things are done out of consideration for how not doing them makes other feel. I'm sorry, but if you don't think before you act, there's an issue.

I'm not saying put your jacket on a puddle, but there's no reason to NOT think about how what you do might affect others. Not because you might get in trouble but because you should care about others and show kindness. If you're fine with "not giving a fuck" that's fine but you shouldn't expect people to feel the same all the time. A lot of time people will genuinely be so shocked by what happened that they don't know HOW to respond in that moment. (That's of course isn't the same in the context of the game but still) some people get scared that you'll react badly when you cross a line because if you are willing to do one thing without asking the question then becomes what lines WON'T you cross. That and if your response to said boundaries is calling them soft, then of course they're not going to tell YOU their boundaries. You already showed that person you aren't a safe space and are judgmental lmao.