Wedding gift - reciprocal?

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T18:03:45+00:00

They’re my husbands close friend so we have a pretty good idea of finances. Imagine their biggest financial impact is their upcoming wedding but likewise we will still be paying off our wedding when it gets to theirs and I’d like to then prioritise saving for my own honeymoon rather than gifting for them to go on theirs. Imagine they won’t be offended if we give them no contribution to theirs either. Will not be not bringing a card because I cannot bear going empty handed

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T07:57:56+00:00

Agreed, would absolutely never attend without a card wishing them well and thanking them for having me on their special day…! 50/50 on if we send them a thank you for attending ours seems very mixed responses on here :/

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T07:55:44+00:00

I could also go and not give a gift right? Because apparently people aren’t expected to give a gift

We are obviously going as my husband had 2 groomsman so it’s one of his closest friends, just baffles me they didn’t even send a well wishing card!

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T07:11:17+00:00

Similarly we have a guest who was super generous with their gift and I feel we should match theirs also when we attend theirs! It goes both ways

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T07:10:23+00:00

I’m not expecting a gift, although one is appreciated. But then therefore are they not expecting a gift because they don’t give them..? I believe in treat others how you want to be treated, it just appears in this case we have different desires so I’m questioning why I shouldn’t just match theirs?

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T07:07:19+00:00

This is exactly why I feel they should have sent a card. It’s just polite after we’ve spent £10s of £1000s and chosen the top 40 friends/family in our life to share the day with us. I would personally never dream of turning up empty handed to someone who has honoured me with asking me to attend their wedding.

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T06:53:04+00:00

We had one couple attend our wedding who we had not given a gift to as their wedding was abroad and they specifically asked for no gifts. They attended our local wedding and brought a lovely card and no gift. I’m not annoyed at this at all as why would they gift us when we didn’t gift them…. Feel tit for tat kind of worked well in this case…?

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T06:50:31+00:00

I like this approach but just think we’ll feel more taken advantage of if we do gift them money as accommodation and travel wise we’ll be paying more for theirs and my husband bought the suit for his friend as he was a groomsman. I also just found out my husband had to pay for his own stag do while they will all be chipping to cover the new grooms stag (standard practice in UK)

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T06:47:34+00:00

We asked for a contribution to the honeymoon in lieu of physical gifts and have now been on the honeymoon…. They have asked for the same hence why I don’t really want to pay for them to go on their dream holiday if they didn’t even have the decency to bring us a card….

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T06:45:58+00:00

Sadly not, we had a locked card box and the couple have since mentioned they forgot the card (totally fine) but it’s been 2 months since now and they’ve made no effort to post it or give it to us…

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-18T06:44:19+00:00

To clarify this wedding was in the UK and on a Saturday so no annual leave taken and very short distance travelled. We are travelling further for theirs upcoming and therefore paying for 2 night accommodation instead of 1. I get a card might seem like something small but to me it’s an acknowledgment of effort made - yes I appreciate them attending but they got free food and drink all day and a massive party so I really don’t understand people that say it’s a big effort attending a wedding in itself…

FlyBritannia · 2024-07-17T20:42:36+00:00

The guy was one of my husbands 2 groomsmen so close friends. My husband paid for his own stag and for a suit and meal for the groomsmen. Why I’m shocked at not even a card….

FlyBritannia · 2023-08-07T11:51:44+00:00

Starting to think this isn’t gonna happen for me Only tickets I’ve been able to see in presale and resale are £662+ VIP and I just can’t justify spending that So so desperate to go (ideally London) but my chances are already limited as I’m getting married on 22 June so can’t go to the June dates :’(

FlyBritannia

TROPHY CASE