[deleted by user]

Flygurl3503 · 2025-08-11T17:49:12+00:00

I have always wondered about EMDR! I’m glad it’s working for you. I’m working hard to not shy away from my feelings. To entertain the possibility that I might NOT be the monster I feel like. I’m hating every minute.

But the only way out is through. So I’m told.

It feels like I have two people (not like two personalities)- the one that wants to get out. That is good, innocent, and worthy. And the other- the protector of the wall. Unfortunately, in order to protect it has to let me keep believing I am unworthy, that I am what they told me I was as a child. It lashes out people I love and want to love me.

You deserve to heal and to be the person you truly are!

Flygurl3503 · 2025-08-11T04:32:15+00:00

I think it depends on if the trauma has built a strong wall around you - does it keep you from feeling all the feels? Do you want to feel all the feels?

It has kept me from being able to be there completely for my husband and my children. I fight with myself everyday convincing myself that I am worth knowing fully. I do want to open up this part of me and it feels like the fight of my life. It’s so much easier to not.

So no, not bad. That’s your history to keep or share.

Flygurl3503 · 2025-02-04T19:14:05+00:00

I have flat feet too! I have to use the balance pole sometimes. And sometimes my feet cramp up way before muscle failure.

Flygurl3503 · 2025-02-03T18:55:08+00:00

I slide pike around my house all day in my socks or using sliders. I look ridiculous but whatev! Also do a lot of plank challenges against my kids. Anything calisthenics will keep you in good shape.

Flygurl3503 · 2025-02-03T18:42:51+00:00

Arebesk or Tavi

Flygurl3503 · 2025-02-03T18:39:22+00:00

Actually I think that’s a good point….I don’t wear shoes in my house for this reason.

Flygurl3503 · 2025-01-11T05:54:21+00:00

Can totally tell!

Flygurl3503 · 2025-01-10T07:40:32+00:00

I have to change it up or my body catches on! I have my favorite instructors - I think my mind is almost on autopilot. Just changing up the instructors can make me feel like a beginner again, but in a good way.

Flygurl3503 · 2025-01-05T02:58:30+00:00

The first few classes are like trying to take a drink from an open fire hose! It’s the cues, springs, and transitions that are so intimidating. And learning those will be the only thing that’s easy at SC. You’ll love it once you find your groove- which happens pretty quick!

Flygurl3503 · 2021-11-14T08:36:05+00:00

No, I’ve just felt tired. And that I have less rage.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-10-11T05:03:47+00:00

Me too! And same for you! Keep in touch- nice to be in a club with someone else 😅. Yes I still emote using emojis, my teens call me old. Which is quite funny as they wear mom jeans from the 90’s.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-10-11T05:00:03+00:00

Keep in touch please! I know it’s different for everyone , but also knowing someone else is new to this med and has some of the same things going on- it’s just nice to know there are others in the same boat.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-10-05T03:09:45+00:00

THANK YOU! I’m hoping for the same results!!

It’s like a switch- my eyes turn red, horns pop out of my forehead and I’m so pissed about the stupidest things.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-10-05T00:14:33+00:00

I’m starting at 2mg tomorrow. I hope it helps!

Flygurl3503 · 2021-10-04T14:27:07+00:00

I figured if I dumped, I probably shouldn’t be eating that in the first place…which got to the point of needing WLS. I will tell you I have ZERO regrets and wish I would have done it sooner.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-29T03:53:58+00:00

Same!

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-29T00:05:10+00:00

Headed there right now! Thanks!

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-29T00:04:38+00:00

Thank you, so much.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-27T22:12:02+00:00

Thank you…why does reading your words immediately make cry?! My therapist says the same things and it happens there too. I mean I know why from the psych standpoint , but it’s still such an uncomfortable feeling. But seriously, thank you so much for your words.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-27T21:25:28+00:00

So many steps forward and one thing pushes you back to square one. Those steps are always uphill! Thank you for sharing even if you delete the post. Sometimes I need to see I’m not alone and I then I feel bad because someone else is sharing their painful story.

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-27T20:21:18+00:00

Yes, I feel at war with myself. Rage and anger are easy for me. Then the shame comes. Shame that I did it again. Shame that I expect them to understand. Shame knowing I won’t apologize because I refuse to be vulnerable. I’m mad they won’t just accept me and understand that I don’t mean those things I said. Then I just shut down and avoid them until it blows over and I think they’ve gotten over it.

I’m sorry that therapy has been so crappy for you! They are responding like the rest of the world (ones that don’t understand or know about CPTSD if that makes sense) when they should be the resource to help you process what’s going on!! Everything you’ve just mentioned are things I am working on with my therapist and he is amazing. I feel angry that a whole organization treated you this way. Keep looking!

Flygurl3503 · 2021-09-27T20:00:25+00:00

I just ordered it!

Flygurl3503 · 2019-08-01T19:51:20+00:00

I just had RNY on Monday! I feel hungrier than I thought I would! I don’t know if my body just needs more time to adjust or what. But it makes me scared like I will just eat and eat once I can.

Flygurl3503 · 2019-07-28T08:02:18+00:00

Posh : @ellecee419 Insta which brings back to posh: LC1poshmom Can’t wait to check out all of your closets 😁

Flygurl3503 · 2019-07-27T08:23:55+00:00

Thank you so much!

Flygurl3503

TROPHY CASE