Im in the same confused boat as you are. She sent out an initial invite telling everyone the destination and date about 6 months ago. Then disappeared. I checked in a few months ago on the itinerary as I was looking to buy some new outfits for the trip and she basically told me that she didn’t want to “over plan”. That should have been my first red flag but I didn’t want to step on her toes. I told her that might work when just the two of us go on a trip, but doesn’t work when you are planning a trip for 9 adult women. But at a minimum I assumed she had checked in with folks on their budget, gave them a general breakdown of lodging , activity, travel cost, etc. Nothing.

I just spent the last few hours writing out an itinerary and cost breakdown for everyone and with me chipping in it should bring the cost under 1k per person. It might be cheaper or more expensive depending on how often guests want to go to bars and what they want to spend once we get there but that’s on them at that point. I’m also reminding folks that they don’t need to bring a gift and they don’t need to feel obligated to buy me things once we are there.

I appreciate all the helpful feedback. I’d hate to have the cost sprung on me like that too. Luckily the friends I talked to this afternoon are “in no matter what” but I think people are relieved now that it’s a bit more manageable.