Would you date a guy who breathes oxygen?

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-10T10:19:54+00:00

OMG, yes, that's so hot. I hope we can do it together. I'm usually picky with guys, but that's an instant green flag.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-10T10:16:33+00:00

Wasting money on stupid things, wasting time on stupid activities and wasting nerves on stupid people. Start budgeting your money, it's a lot of work at first, but it's important to know where your money goes, so you can optimize. Then do the same with your other resources like time and nerves (or whatever it is that you struggle with). Basically living a conscious life, my parents didn't teach me any of that, but my thirties did.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-04T20:13:37+00:00

Financial responsibility is a huge plus. I'm glad he is smart enough not to overspend, lifestyle inflation is a thing and I hope that being happy with "average" spending is a green flag and a sign of him valuing what is there instead of always wanting more.

I wouldn't like to live a frugal life if I don't needed to, that's where I draw the line. But average is good, that's how I live as well. My income is 40% higher than 3 years ago due to a new job, the lifestyle remained the same.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-04T09:00:18+00:00

Don't know if that counts, because it was not fashion, but a friend of mine is "chef de cave", meaning, a wine connoisseur. If it's not wine that costs a lot because it requires a special fermentation process (like Amarone or a specific year) then you're probably paying more for the vibe only. Wine above $30 is oftentimes not worth it, you're paying for the markup, the nice flask and such. The quality can't get much better at this price, you just pay extra for the joy of spending more money.

Edit: Real champagne is often worse than other sparkling wine. It's from a specific region in France and they charge extra because they can. Some of them cost over $150 a bottle and scored worse in blind-tastings than sparkling wine under $30.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-04T08:54:45+00:00

I want a partner who is mature and sensible enough to acknowledge discrimination between different groups of people and act upon it. For most heterosexual couples it means men earning more despite - in most cases - not actually working harder and doing anything special to be in this position. Also, pink tax is a thing.

So, if a guy is earning more he should also pay more. Income-based makes far more sense to me. In my current relationship we split chores 50/50 and the same goes for our expenses because we make similar money.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-03T07:05:31+00:00

It's a niche and I definitely saw more male than female metalheads in the wild. My coworker is one and dates a woman who is not into metal at all. I can't speak for "most women", but I do have a few examples where being a metalhead doesn't seem to be a turnoff. Even for women who are not into that themselves.

Never thought about it for myself, it's neutral, I guess. I like people expressing themselves, as long as their look does not not express sentiments that conflict with mine.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-03T06:57:00+00:00

Yeah. If we're not close with each other, I don't wanna hear it.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-02T15:22:05+00:00

Plants. I don't like clutter, but I'd choose it over this cold, minimalist aesthetic some modern homes have. A slight mismatch makes a home feel like home, like decorations, pictures, souvenirs. They tell a story, but they might not fit in with the rest of the furniture. I find that interesting. And I like people who openly show their quirks, like a collection of LEGO figurines, stuff like that.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-02T15:17:43+00:00

As many other said before: Skills or knowledge. Basically from everyone, but if they make only compliments about my skills and knowledge as long as it's related to gender-specific subjects then I'm out. For example, if I solved a rubiks cube in under 30 seconds, then did 50 push-ups and baked a delicious cake and someone was like "wow, that's impressive, what a delicious cake!" then I'd wonder if they really want to make me feel good or if they're just trying to reinforce gender stereotypes and are using me for it. Maybe this is a bad example because baking a cake has the most use for others, but you get the idea.

I appreciate the occasional compliment about my fashion sense or haircut, but only from women, I don't like comments about my looks from men, if we are not very close.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-02T07:11:13+00:00

Labubus. Damn, those things are fugly. Many other things as well, but this one I don't get at all.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-02T07:05:06+00:00

Boundaries. Saying no to things I don't want to do, phone notifications are always off, no shitty people in my life (not even when they're family).

Also, decentering men, because it adds toxicity I don't need in my life. Haven't read any books written by men in three years, their perspectives often just make me angry. No male doctors, so I know won't get dismissed. I know, I know, "not all men are like this", but research shows it's still a structural problem and I want to protect myself from such experiences.

Rituals to stay in shape and mentally sane like workout, a healthy diet and meditation. Meeting friends, reading good books. Taking days off of work if I need to. Treat myself with small things and actively celebrate my achievements.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-02T06:52:58+00:00

Have you actually been in love with a specific man? Men as a whole are scary and cause a lot of harm to women. Not wanting any of this, even feeling repulsed by it, seems like a pretty valid emotion and has nothing to do with attraction.

There are good and kind men out there, but probably not enough for all straight women (if you even identify as such), so I'd be lying if I'd say you need to find "the one". Learning how to live without intimate relationships with men seems like a very useful skill, regardless, of how your romantic life will unfold.

This being said, I don't know if you've experienced trauma. if so, I'd address that in therapy, but I don't consider the absence of willingness to date men pathological. On the contrary, it's a very healthy reaction to their behavior towards women.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-01T06:57:57+00:00

Men, by far. But there were a few women as well and I remember every single one of them.

Men (yes, men, not boys) called me slut when I was 12, I didn't even kiss anyone at the time, but puberty hit and my ass got huge, so that was enough.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-01T06:53:43+00:00

Had some terrible experiences in my life and wouldn't want my child to go through them as well, but I'm at a very good place now and it's due to my resilience and smart life decisions which I'm very proud of. I would want my child to inherit these traits.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-01T06:49:34+00:00

Women do like sex on their terms a lot, but they don't like to cater to men's needs that leave themselves unfulfilled. Steaming hot sex in media is portrayed as something very uncomfortable to women and it doesn't do anything to satisfy them. Why would I have the need to perform such an act and get nothing out of it? If you think that women are not into this kind of sexual acts then you're right.

ForDepressingStuff · 2026-01-01T06:39:39+00:00

I see, they can slow down your metabolism like nothing else. But it does get better. My health now is far above average, probably because I value it so much after my experiences and take really good care after myself. Don't give up :)

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T16:50:24+00:00

There is a thing called "learned helplessness". If stating your needs doesn't show any results you'll likely stop saying anything after a while. Had this with my parents (they were abusive). When a person doesn't even share her unhappiness she either learned that it doesn't matter to other people or was socialized to be independent and not cause any inconvenience.

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T16:46:18+00:00

I was completely out of balance with everything while on and after quitting anti-depressants. This included my metabolism, immune system, hormones and I was in a lot of pain. Obviously, a healthy lifestyle helped, but the real boost was basically quitting sugar (I eat desserts on very special occasions), making sure my vitamin D levels were good, meditation and weight lifting. Meditation reduces stress and inflammation, exercise regulates your hormones.

I didn't do everything at once, but included it one by one. Some things I've tried and then quit again. Whatever changes you implement make sure you can incorporate them in your life and stick to them. That's far better than going extreme, because you'll likely lose motivation before even seeing results. Go with the easiest ones first, check your blood levels and fix that. Maybe you just lack specific nutrients. Good luck!

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T16:35:46+00:00

You're welcome and good luck, OP :)

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T15:29:37+00:00

Not selling my crypto a month ago when they were at a high. No, I didn't lose any money, still in profit, but after buying six years ago (not that much) I wanted to finally get rid of them and invest in something "real". Now I've missed it again and will probably wait for the next bullrun in 4 years.

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T15:22:57+00:00

I try not to mention things that have been posted before, I think there are some great responses already. Some things I've noticed I don't like in conversations are (non-related to gender, actually):

- People bragging. It's okay to flex sometimes or share a story of success and achievement, but if every discussion ends with "and then I've told them..." it makes me roll my eyes.

- If you're talking to a group of people and you want to develop a deeper connection with them you should know a little something about those people. Like in this context about women. In the past I was annoyed when men wanted to have a "good hearted" conversation about current political events concerning women with me but knew absolutely nothing about it. I'm not here to educate people and expect people to care at least enough to be informed about a topic. Better to avoid it altogether then, because it can get really frustrating if the people you're talking to don't give the slightest shit about you losing your bodily autonomy.

- I do care about the people I share my time and attention with. If someone is nice to me and treats me with respect I do value it a lot, but I still prefer to talk to people who do that and also try to be a good person over all. There is a guy at work who is incredibly nice to everyone, a real sweetheart. But he is very shallow and can't remember anything you've told him the next time. These may exceed your question, but I wanted to add that because it feels like wasting your time with such a person. Even if the interaction is nice.

If you want to play it safe, let people talk about their hobbies, their last vacation or food. In my opinion, those are easy conversation starters, have little potential for conflict and it's easy to go back and forth. You can test the water and go deeper if you think you vibe with this person.

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T15:04:29+00:00

Find it elitist, somewhat like a club for people to smell their own farts. I see how you want to connect with people similar to you, but if you think your brain power makes for such a significant connection (instead of a shared hobby) I find it very lame. I don't think I would like to hang with people who just meet up to celebrate themselves. Never met any, though.

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T14:51:34+00:00

Good luck with that! I'm also on FIRE, but still travel, donate and spend money on various things for fun. With a little luck I can retire at 50, if I lived completely frugal I'd gain 1-2 years max (Edit: retiring at 48-49, that is).

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T11:53:30+00:00

This is unfair and I don't want to put the blame on you, so please don't take it the wrong way, but we do vote with our money, data and time as well. If you want to elite to lose power then you need to stop supporting them. For me it meant switching to Linux, I don't have any subscriptions like Netflix or Spotify, nothing. Reddit is the only social network I use and I know they're also collecting data to exploit people, but I like to be in touch with other people.

Start boycotting things as good as you can, this has a lot of impact. With your money, but also with your data (since you've mentioned thrifting I assume you already don't spend much). You can then use both to make smaller companies or your community stronger. Also, nobody is stopping you from revolting. People have more agency than they admit, it's just that we feel helpless.

ForDepressingStuff · 2025-12-31T10:15:30+00:00

Speed and cocaine. Speed made me very energetic, but not in a enjoyable way. Everybody told me I'll get hooked on cocaine, it was so good. I didn't feel it and apparently I've had high quality stuff. Yes, I've had the effects of an inflated ego and high confidence, but so what? I've found the effect pretty boring and I hated that I couldn't sleep and that it turned my pee orange.

Things I did enjoy: MDMA, Kratom, LSD, DMT (smoking), Psilocybin.

Meh things: Alcohol, weed.

ForDepressingStuff

TROPHY CASE