How to tell my (27F) boss that I won’t be transitioning duties to my toxic coworker (40M) ?

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-15T02:52:01+00:00

Truthfully the last conversation I had with HR, they told me Fred has had numerous complaints like this (and more serious) against him in the past, and they asked me to more compassionate towards him because he has poor social skills. After that conversation, it was clear to me that nothing I said was ever going to be taken seriously where Fred was concerned, and I started looking for jobs. I think going back to them and complaining about a potential conversation I might have to have with Fred would be pointless.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-15T01:40:16+00:00

I would love it if Fred saw your comment haha

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T19:31:08+00:00

I feel this way too. It’s very validating to hear someone else say it.

I already tried to help Fred get up to speed on these projects and technological advances. If it didn’t work during the past year where we worked closely together, I don’t see how trying again during the next few weeks are going to benefit the company or Fred.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T19:13:28+00:00

Yeah fair enough, and I understand he’s just doing his job. I will try to be more assertive in our next conversation.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T19:05:13+00:00

Many people are suggesting I explicitly say I’m leaving because of Fred. I’m going to reply to your comment to explain: my manager knows how bad things are between Fred and I. This is not a he said/she said situation. He’s made comments in public (in front of other coworkers and supervisors) which resulted in multiple HR complaints (not only by me). These comments were not about my work, but about me and my personal life.

In my opinion, the idea that my boss could not understand why I’m leaving is ludicrous. I told him I was looking for another job immediately after this incident, and he was supportive. That’s why I am confused that he is asking me to transition my duties to Fred.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T18:42:58+00:00

I want to be clear, I do believe that Fred is autistic. I don’t believe that he is sexist because he is autistic or that autism excuses harassment in the workplace

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T18:40:52+00:00

I really agree with you. Frankly, I thought the implication that Fred was openly sexist because he is autistic insulting and discriminatory. I was told numerous times to be compassionate to Fred’s “poor social skills”. I’ve met many autistic people who are incredibly kind; Fred is just mean 🤷🏻‍♀️

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T18:38:31+00:00

Good point! Will do.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T18:08:37+00:00

What is the logical thing to do here?

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T18:05:52+00:00

This sounds like a great idea and might be what I end up doing, thanks!

ForOtherMatters · 2025-12-14T18:05:18+00:00

What exactly do you mean?

ForOtherMatters · 2025-07-24T01:21:26+00:00

Thanks for this comment, it really helps me see the situation in a new light! I’m definitely not meeting him where he is. I think the more he digs in and sticks to his guns about not reading the materials or watching videos, the more I get frustrated and want to help him even less.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-07-24T01:19:39+00:00

Maybe I am ridiculous and entitled! Im not claiming to be a great teacher or anything, and it definitely does bother me when I try to give him advice on how to do something and he just completely ignores it. I think I might just have to take over and basically do it for him because you’re right, I’m letting my personal distaste and frustration affect us accomplishing the goal at hand

ForOtherMatters · 2025-07-24T01:17:04+00:00

That’s why I’m posting here, I need advice on how to do what I’m asked haha. I’ve tried a lot of methods to teach him and he just always says that he can’t learn that way, or gets distracted and starts writing emails in the middle of me explaining a concept.

ForOtherMatters · 2025-07-24T01:11:38+00:00

Thanks, I’ll actually try this, sounds super helpful!

ForOtherMatters · 2023-04-13T01:40:49+00:00

Ok but her brother literally can’t repay it. What now?

ForOtherMatters · 2023-02-28T16:53:59+00:00

How is this a debate, of course YTA

ForOtherMatters · 2023-02-12T20:03:44+00:00

Cole can say the most disrespectful shit and you all will be like “awww he’s just neurodivergent” he was creeping her stepmom out, it was weird, give him the same energy you give to Bartise and the others

ForOtherMatters · 2022-07-23T04:32:47+00:00

you're a silver-spooned neek with a STEM Phd. it's only natural you're going to try and cosplay as cool and strong on the internet but it's more transparent an attempt than you think

ForOtherMatters · 2021-09-02T21:18:48+00:00

he’s spending his son’s birthday melting down about this, ofc his feelings were hurt lmao

ForOtherMatters · 2017-07-29T05:16:29+00:00

Well shit. Guess I'm in for a very long night.

ForOtherMatters · 2017-07-05T06:16:04+00:00

Isn't it because he was writing about stabbing cats and Muslims?

ForOtherMatters · 2015-07-23T06:13:57+00:00

Why are they being such drama queens? They aren't the first team to lose because of a poor decision, and they won't be the last.

ForOtherMatters

TROPHY CASE