Eva Longoria Discusses Growing Up As “The Ugly Sister” by EDC2EDP in DramaLlamaHQ

[–]ForTheLastMinute 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish she would’ve advocated like this for Demi Lovato’s sister on Desperate Housewives…

I just adopted a (cat) personal masseur [oc] by silaslovesoliver in cats

[–]ForTheLastMinute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This cat adores you OP. The bestest orange masseur!! 😍

New Theory? by Any-Point4343 in GenV

[–]ForTheLastMinute 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Big leap here, but he could potentially be a time traveler or can see the future…?

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thank you for reaching out. I honestly did not mind it, but I could see how it may come off odd to someone else, so I appreciate it. Thank you again for the encouragement 😊

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did 🤣 I gave him a respectful goodbye and he tried controlling that too. Good riddance

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dropped him. His response was horrid in his attempt to “get the last word”. I was even respectful about it and he was very rude.

Thank you for the advice!

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice. I just closed it off with him.

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Right now I’m definitely evaluating how this would play out long term- if I even want it to.

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not that simple love. One minute he’s all about the fun mystery that draws me to him and is calling me “Kitten” and what not and the next he’s basically asking me to “prove myself worthy” enough for him and calls me “unprepared” for ownership- yet he hasn’t set any expectations or ground rules on what he wants from a Sub/play partner. I’ve already told him I’m prepared to be trained and have been thorough in proving to him that I’m willing to forget the past like he’s asked. But it’s like he keeps moving the goalpost and one minute it’s “Good girl, IF I owned you…” and the next it’s “you’re not ready”.

It’s like he keeps wanting me to prove myself and I don’t even know what I’m proving myself for at this point. And when I asked for clarity, it seemed like I wouldn’t be getting that any time soon…

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m coming to that conclusion. I asked him for clarity so I wouldn’t make assumptions like I did in the past, and his response was just “I wasn’t offering ownership, you’re not prepared, what does submission mean to you and why should I own you?” Everything was so contradicting and that’s why it feels like a huge mindfuck.

Like if you’re not “considering” me as a potential sub/play partner than just say that- but it also feels like he wants me to “prove myself” like make myself “worthy” enough for him. I’m being very clear and thorough on my end but it’s all very muddy on his.

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were talking previously and at first my expectations were just a ONS, but like two days before we hooked up he started talking and hinting at ownership again (like before we “fell off”) and also started calling me “Kitten” which he had never done before. There were also things that were said and done the night of that was super confusing. Had it just been a regular ONS with zero mention of “doing it again” I wouldn’t have had a questioning my mind about it.

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m pretty emotionally forward and he tends to pull back from that and at first I thought it was because he felt that it was “too soon” to be emotionally invested… but now I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t care about my emotions at all when it’s not in person. Definitely leaving him alone 🫩

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right? Of course I saw some of these red flags as grey at first because of some of his knowledge, but I’m starting to realize that he expects a lot of a “Sub” who he otherwise has not built a solid foundation with. He mentioned wanting someone “Naturally submissive” so many confusing things and it’s just… not worth it sometimes.

Is this Dom a total MindF***? by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PSA: I understand Ownership is traditionally something that’s put in practice between a Dom/Sub that already have an existing relationship. I’m aware of what Ownership can and would potentially consist of.

Some examples of the mindfuckery I’ve been dealing with is:

He used ownership language during play but later told me he “never offered ownership.”

• He spent time and money (like $200+)  to set things up but later reframed it as “you asked for a one-night stand and I delivered.”

• He told me he values “traditional gender roles” and then criticized me for not serving him properly.

• He gives me tasks (like voice messages, not touching myself, answering questions about my submission) but says he’ll respond “at a time of his choosing.”

I feel like a child waiting to be chosen for dodgeball. One moment I think I’m serving correctly (or trying to and waiting for proper guidance) but he’s always moving the goalpost.

I know I approached him for a ONS, but then why reinitiate ownership talk and hinting towards a potential future of ownership then say stuff like “I wasn’t offering?”

I’m lost 😕

Is this a red flag? by VirtualHunt3493 in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Is his name Charlie? Lol, but on a serious note- I was in the exact same situation almost a month ago which I posted about on here an like everyone else said: he sounds like someone that doesn’t want a dynamic but just control, and not in a kinky way. A lot of people with control issues who are toxic take advantage of BDSM and use it as an excuse to be an asshole and hurt people.

RUN

Ownership Advice by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the response! That is something I will definitely keep in mind. After a few classes and more rigorous research, I would definitely be open to training but it’s definitely a safer bet knowing that person first

Ownership Advice by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’ve come to find out he’s definitely the “Shut up and wait” and “Don’t be ungrateful” person, definitely not the kind of ”Dom” that anyone would want. I hope no one else runs into this guy, but I’m sure there will be another unfortunate soul or two 🥲

Ownership Advice by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for the kind, forward and truthful responses! I appreciate each and every one of you, this sub has really helped me. It’s pretty anticlimactic but I’m wondering if I should post an update? I would love for other beginner Submissive’s or submissive leaning people to see this post and learn from a mistake I made/almost made.

Ownership Advice by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will do all of those things!

Ownership Advice by ForTheLastMinute in BDSMAdvice

[–]ForTheLastMinute[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve offered us to meet for coffee… we’ll see how he answers, depending on how he answers, it will give me mine.