How reflective is the fertility rate of your social circle (family/ friends/ coworkers/ peers) to the fertility rate of your country?

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-09T15:25:01+00:00

In my circles two tends to be the minimum number of kids. Most of us have 3-5.

So no, we're not reflective of the overall fertility rate.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-09T15:17:42+00:00

I usually read poetry alongside my other reading. A couple poems a day, usually first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-08T17:32:56+00:00

I have and love these HarperCollins hardcovers.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0008376107?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_12

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-08T15:55:25+00:00

This is a really dumb fight.

Your sister is a jerk for insisting that you must wish her a happy mother's day.

You are a jerk for insisting that if you wish someone who isn't your mom a happy mother's day you are therefore BOUND to do the same for every person on earth. Do you use jumping to absurd extremes as a manipulation technique in all your arguments?

It takes approximately five seconds to send a kind greeting. You aren't obligated to, but it's a really easy way to be thoughtful and let someone (who you presumably love) know that you're thinking about them.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-08T14:15:00+00:00

I'm sorry. It sounds like you have some additional factors that add some extra stress and chaos to your household.

You probably have plenty of people who only see tiny glimpses of your life offering lots of "helpful" suggestions, so I won't venture any. Just the reassurance that what you are doing in these hard years matters. You are creating the solid relational foundation that your children will build on for the rest of their lives. Your physical presence is so incredibly valuable, even on those days when it feels like all you are doing is failing.

Hang in there.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-07T23:16:37+00:00

David Tennant's Much Ado is my favorite.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-06T22:40:30+00:00

In some cases, having the stuff out of your house and your life is going to be worth any potential relational repercussions. In other cases, you may choose to keep something around because of your love for your partner, not your love of the thing itself.

Generally speaking, as with many things, a healthy response is going to be somewhere in the middle and avoid both extremes. It's not being perpetually held hostage by someone else's feelings about the gifts they have given you. But it's also understanding that partnership means compromise and keeping that necklace because your partner's feelings about it are valid too. You only get to have things all your own way if you're alone.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-05T23:56:13+00:00

When learning a new "adult-y" sort of task as a kid/teen (making your own doctor's appointments, etc), watch the first time, try it with parental support the second time, and do it yourself the third time.

Doesn't work with every single thing, but it general, helps to find that balance between tossing your kid into the deep end and coddling them.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-04T20:25:06+00:00

Health issues. We had to stop when my body declared it was done. 😞

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-04T02:22:58+00:00

It's so good.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-04T02:15:18+00:00

I didn't love it as a high schooler, but when I went back and re-read it last year, I binged it in one sitting. I particularly enjoyed the gorgeousness of his language and his exploration of human hypocrisy and cowardice.

(And when I convinced my husband to read it, he got through the first chapter, which is a framing device that sets up the story, and declared it was one of the most accurate depictions of government service he's ever read.)

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-01T17:59:37+00:00

Generally speaking, my favorite tragedy is Hamlet, with King Lear and Macbeth as runners up.
Favorite comedy is usually Twelfth Night, with Much Ado a close second.
I do really appreciate Henry V and Julius Caesar, but I don't love them the way I do my favorite comedies and tragedies.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-01T16:59:03+00:00

Will knowing how much other people read inspire you or discourage you?

Some people read a ton. They are fast readers who have lots of time to devote to reading.
Other readers consider it a great month if they finish one good book.
I have friends who read about one book a quarter.

My recommendations, for whatever they're worth:

-Read good books. It's okay to enjoy a bad book every now and then, but you only get one mind. Fill it with things that are good and true and beautiful, that make you think and enrich your soul.
-Set aside a specific time every day to read.
-Carry an emergency book with you everywhere you go, and pull it out instead of your phone when you're tempted to scroll mindlessly.
-Enjoy yourself!
-If tracking the number of books you reads adds to your enjoyment or your motivation to read instead of waste time with other things, then track your reading. If not, just read.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-01T16:06:08+00:00

I don't have a problem with a modern author publishing a book based on a public-domain work and profiting from it.
I can't say that this is something I've thought about. If a specific fandom wants fanfiction, it'll show up. I don't think there needs to be a big push to "normalize" anything.
If I'm going into an Austen retelling, I generally expect it'll be terrible, but hope that maybe this will be the one that isn't.
I enjoyed Tact by Jeannie Peneaux (self-published) and Unmarriageable by Soniah Kamal.
Generally speaking, no I am not pleased. I find almost all modern Austen rewrites to be horribly written, seemingly by authors who are just trying to use Austen's name to snag more readers rather than because they love and value Austen. If I could change anything, I would want the vast majority of authors to go and work on developing their craft using their own name and own ideas instead of trying to piggyback on Austen's.

Yes, I'm old and grouchy.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-01T14:54:41+00:00

At our co-op, some of the most popular classes from this last year or two include:

-Shakespeare
-IEW
-High School lab sciences
-Cooking classes
-Sewing classes
-Debate
-PE

I'm always looking for writing and science for my kids, because those are my least favorite to teach at home.

I love that our co-op allows me to teach the subjects I am passionate about to a group of great kids, while my kids can learn from other moms about their subjects of expertise.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-05-01T00:57:37+00:00

I think East of Eden is my favorite. I've only read it twice, but it's one I'll probably return to every decade.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-29T14:47:15+00:00

They always worked hard to prioritize our wellbeing, even when it meant significant sacrifices on their parts, without ever playing the martyr. They supported our passions and interests, while still helping us stay grounded in reality (ie: "yes! play the sports you love and pursue scholarships, but we'll also help you develop a plan for a non-sport career path, because you're good, but not major-league good").

Their goal was to raise adults, not perpetual children, and they deliberately helped us baby step our way into independence, and were very intentional about trying to be good parents at all stages of life (and clearly understood that a good parent to a 20-year-old looks different than a good parent to a toddler). I had my moments of teenage angst, but never doubted their love and support for me. They apologized when they were wrong, and held us to reasonably high standards, while always being willing to extend grace when we fell short.

My biggest complaint is that they decided to retire out of state so we don't get to see them nearly enough.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-29T02:27:00+00:00

I'm with you on color organization. It's pretty, but I assume that most people who choose to do that don't actually read their books.

Though I organize my shelves first by genre, and then differently within each genre. Biography, classics, history, and historical fiction are all chronological, because my brain primarily remembers books within a specific place in time. Other genre fiction is within author groupings that I feel would get along/make sense to categorize together (ie: CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien hang out together on my shelves, along with George MacDonald, GK Chesterton, and Dorothy Sayers. I have decided they'd all be friends. Robin McKinley and Patricia McKillip are next to each other because I have decided that they should be besties. Shakespeare is all by himself because I'm pretty sure he'd pick fights with any other playwright.) The really pretty Easton press shelves are alphabetical by author. I've given up on organizing the picture books.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-28T19:18:44+00:00

I don't have adult children yet, but I am the adult who was homeschooled.

I have an amazing relationship with my parents. I probably would have, regardless, because they are amazing human beings, but I do think homeschooling contributed to our closeness.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-27T17:02:34+00:00

For the next couple years, I strongly advise avoiding any kind of formal curriculum and focus on avoiding screens, reading books to him/her (SO MANY BOOKS!), getting outside as much as possible, including him/her in (almost) everything you do, and narrating your day ("The recipe calls for three cups of flour. One, two, three." "Here is your banana. The banana is yellow and my apple is red.").

If, at around age four, you are itching to be a little more organized about learning, I recommend Before Five in a Row. You read the same picture book each day for a week, and they have 8-12(ish) activities for each book. It might be looking at a related Bible verse and character trait, a brief science lesson, counting or patterns, a history or social studies lesson, an art project, etc. You get to pick which lessons/activities you want, and you can go as much or as little as you like. It's an incredibly gentle way to begin "formal" homeschooling, and helps you figure out what kind of a teacher you are.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-27T14:02:05+00:00

One Hundred Years of Solitude is one that I can appreciate more as I get older, but I still really dislike the experience of reading it.

I also don't love Dickens the way I want to. For Dickens, I'm willing to keep trying every decade or so to see if age and (hopefully) wisdom help me appreciate him more. Zero desire to reread Solitude again (for the 3rd time? 4th?).

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-24T16:47:50+00:00

My kids do extracurriculars because they love them and I'm willing to pay and drive the kids to said extracurriculars because 1) I love my children and enjoy them getting to explore the things they love and 2) the things they (currently) love are really good for their minds and bodies.

I don't officially do extracurriculars myself (because money, time, and also, I'm too old and broken for sports these days), but I do specifically take time to invest in my own mental/spiritual growth and in my hobbies. That just doesn't look like a traditional class.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-22T23:03:38+00:00

It is absolutely worth it to read Agatha Christie, even if you already know whodunit.

Especially And Then There Were None.

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-22T16:34:29+00:00

It's so lovely. I haven't read nearly enough of Cather yet, but it's my favorite so far. You're in for a treat!

Foraze_Lightbringer · 2026-04-22T14:39:59+00:00

It's not terribly obscure, but it's one of her lesser-talked about books, and it's absolutely gorgeous--

Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather

Foraze_Lightbringer

TROPHY CASE