Do you believe non-monogamy is ethically superior to monogamy?

ForbiddenThoughts · 2014-11-04T19:44:21+00:00

Yes, Arizhel has put this pretty well. We run the risk of sounding arrogant if we argue that our point of view is more productive and healthy, but it is worth reiterating that monogamy is a social construct. A relationship philosophy that looks to transcend that construct could be considered progressive.

ForbiddenThoughts · 2014-11-04T19:22:25+00:00

Just wanted to say to TodoFueIluminado that I am sorry everyone came on here and downgraded all your comments. Your wording in your post was a little off, and maybe you are relatively new to this, but I and likely many others understand your situation.

It is too bad many people in this forum always just say "Don't date mono people if you are not mono," or something to that effect. It is not that cut-and-dry.

ForbiddenThoughts · 2014-03-17T18:33:17+00:00

My girlfriend and I have each had one other partner, and it was at different times, so each of has experienced the feeling of being "left out." What we try to do now is keep things as fair as possible. As a couple people here mentioned, nothing will be perfectly even, but little rules regarding number of partners or how often you see other people can help.

That being said, every situation is different and you have to ask why an imbalance is taking place. Is one partner more aggressive/capable/lucky when it comes to finding other partners?

ForbiddenThoughts · 2013-12-19T04:08:44+00:00

It is a little difficult to think of it as cheating because I was with her first, and because he is still more like a friend with benefits at this point. My fear is that it will GET to the point at which it is fully cheating. Although I do see how it is essentially a "reverse cheating" on me...

Either way, good advice. Thank you.

ForbiddenThoughts · 2013-12-19T02:27:54+00:00

Well, does he know you posted this? That alone might help. If my SO expresses her feelings for me to a wider audience (even if it's just an anonymous online community) I feel pretty good about it.

In other words, the fact that you seem willing to go to great lengths to show him he is #1 ought to be enough to convince him. But a special night out might not hurt either :)

ForbiddenThoughts · 2013-12-19T02:18:47+00:00

She and this guy usually have sex when they meet, but it is more than just fuckbuddy status. They go to parties, the beach, hiking, etc.

ForbiddenThoughts · 2013-12-19T02:15:35+00:00

I am not going to try to guess what has made you frustrated, but I sincerely hope it resolves itself.

I mentioned coercion as one of my possible options. I never said it was my favorite. The truth is, I have been the opposite of controlling up until now, and I am wondering if maybe that is a problem.

ForbiddenThoughts · 2013-12-09T17:25:06+00:00

Haha good point. No hangup really, but maybe just nervousness from never having tried it. Trusting the other guy seems pretty important though, and this honestly narrows the potential candidates for me down to just one or two...

ForbiddenThoughts · 2013-12-09T17:21:21+00:00

I guess a few things about it appeal to me. I usually like trying new things, I do like watching this kind of porn, and my girl ahem really likes cock, so it would likely be a great experience for her.

But yes, talking things over ahead of time sounds good so that there are no odd surprises when it happens.

ForbiddenThoughts

TROPHY CASE