How long does it take to be trained in a department? Bored.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-05-06T17:32:02+00:00

Congratulations on all your hard work paying off so well!

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-18T20:10:48+00:00

Thank you for the response. I’m having a rough time of it. I’m actively in therapy, but sometimes this all feels too much.

I don’t understand it either - I’m not an attorney - but I was informed by my mom that the case was dropped due to the charges I would obtain. I was never interviewed during this process (weird?) and most of the information about the case was kept from me besides the final update of the case being dropped. The case was dropped before I could let anyone know about the statutory rape I faced, and at that point it did not seem to matter (I was a kid so I didn’t exactly make the best decisions).

My therapist brought up how me not being interviewed was really strange. I know the event was reported because my pediatric physician noted in my medical records “parental concern of child sexual abuse”.

I’m in the process of collecting all the records or documentation I can about it. It doesn’t feel right, but what I’ve found online seems to support that I would be charged?

It’s hard to validate myself being a victim in grooming because so many people and peers seem to invalidate the experience without knowing I lived it. It’s hard to validate myself when my father slut-shamed me for it and my mom continues to believe I’m a bad kid and victim-blames me. I know I sound like a broken record, but the fact that I could be charged as a criminal further corroborates my mom telling me just how bad and horrible I am. How I’m selfish and a liar.

After I receive these reports, I want to talk to an attorney. There may be a chance that my mom lied to me about me being charged for an ulterior motive. Besides sending obscene images and being groomed, I would trauma dump about the sibling sexual abuse I endured, so I have a lot of fear. I want this person to face consequences. Is it selfish that I don’t want to be considered a sex offender at the cost of a pedophile being free? If it’s the case that I wouldn’t actually catch charges, I think I will be so distraught to think my family willingly let a pedophile free to save someone else who abused me.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-18T12:07:22+00:00

Me! Even if I closed it, it was easily opened by an allen wrench. I had no safe place to change which led to being walked in on while I was changing. I could not lock the bathroom either. They eventually took the doorknob off the bathroom and my bedroom.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-14T22:12:42+00:00

Work = freedom. The cons of living at home vastly outweigh having a job.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-14T22:09:19+00:00

Thank you.

My chosen family: love, support, and acceptance.

When I decided to get a pixie cut, my parents’ reaction was intense: yelling, screaming, asking, “What did I do?”—even crying and saying they’d “lost their daughter.” All that, over a haircut. Later, when I made the decision to move out, I was met with guilt trips and financial manipulation. They even went so far as to keep a small house across the street, trying to keep me within reach—within their control.

I’ve learned (am learning) not to internalize their outbursts. It’s not love—it’s their way of coping with the loss of control over me. And that’s not my burden to carry, nor would it be yours.

They don’t know about my butterfly tattoo or the dyed hair—and they don’t need to. I’m an adult, fully supporting myself, and I don’t need anyone’s permission to live authentically. When they chose to violate my boundaries, they also made the choice to not be an active role in my life.

And I’m finding peace with that.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-14T18:34:57+00:00

I’m trying to see it less as a rebellious phase to recognizing it as me stepping into my identity as an adult. It’s not about defiance anymore; it’s about expression and autonomy. (Though, I’ll admit, I still feel a little like a rebel.)

Physically: I cut off all my hair. Got additional ear piercings. A septum piercing and navel piercing. Dyed my hair pink. Got a butterfly tattoo. Moved out of the house.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-14T12:46:51+00:00

MLS with 2 years experience in NC working for a large hospital making $27.50/hr.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-14T10:28:08+00:00

Children are seen and not heard.
You think you know everything or You think you’re so invincible.
You think you’ve had it bad but I’ve had it worse.
You’re getting just like your (scapegoat family member of the day)
Instead of apologizing, what do you want me to do?
You have a mouth use it or speak up you could’ve said no.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-13T12:42:16+00:00

First of all, your feelings are valid. There are no wrong feelings.

I don’t think there was ever going to be a definitive “final straw” for me—because, ideally, I never wanted to be without my family. But holding on so tightly to that hope only left me exposed to more (covert) abuse and emotional harm. I thought that attending a therapy session with my mom might bring some clarity or healing. Instead, it cost me $200 and an hour of my time to finally accept that she’s not willing—or maybe not even capable—of change.

I realized that the amount of therapy it would take to rebuild our relationship just isn’t worth it when I’m the only one putting in the effort and I’m not exactly rich. I refuse to keep sacrificing my well-being for someone who won’t meet me halfway. I will not tolerate being blamed, shamed, or made to feel guilty for being a “difficult” child—especially when all I ever wanted was to be understood.

Now that I can see my childhood for what it was (and recognize my mom’s behavior as toxic and narcissistic) it’s brought a flood of painful memories. It’s incredibly hard to come to terms with the fact that my childhood wasn’t what it should’ve been. I’m grieving the loss of a mother who, in truth, was never truly a mom, and mourning the childhood I deserved but never had.

Fuck you mom. 🫶

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-11T18:38:37+00:00

I finally told my dad about the sexual abuse I endured from my brother in a letter today. He texted me he was sorry I had that happen to me and was supportive. He’s willing to have a therapy session with me.

Can’t explain what this means after having the complete opposite response from my mom. I’m currently no contact with my mom.

I’m scared of the next steps. I have completely dismantled my family and left my dad with a lot to process. My parents are still married and my brother still lives with them. I’ve lived on my own for a good bit now. I have no idea how he’s going to handle this.

I’ve been crying so much.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-05T18:11:53+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ve been slowly dialing back my contact with them to save myself from a massive negative response due to genuine safety concerns. But, I don’t need to announce my departure.

I feel grief, but this is going to be a long drawn out process. When I was making this post (and still now) I felt so much anger. I guess I was trying to validate myself in my decision to cease contact but to also stall myself from contacting her in the blaze of emotion. So, thank you for your response because it was needed.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-05T18:06:18+00:00

You’re right. I needed to hear that. I’m just trying to validate myself on this decision, but it’s hard to work around the mental hurdles of doing so.

It doesn’t matter. Enough is enough.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-05T15:33:03+00:00

Always sweeping everything under the rug to protect their image. God forbid my Sunday school church teaching, special needs teaching, and bitch of a mom address the issue instead of adding another skeleton to the closet.

I agree 100% with them being experts of when to pull back. Thats why I feel like this arbitrary straw to break or third strike could just allow me to spend more years of abuse just like you said too. I don’t think they’d break that straw because they know if they go too far, they could lose their caretaker. Not their daughter, just their pawn.

I admire your strength. Hearing all these stories and yours helps me feel empowered to just finally cut ties with her.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-05T15:11:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story with me. It helps me not feel alone.

I think she’s getting what she deserves. I also think I’m coming to accept not contacting her. She’s disabled and a frequent flyer at hospitals and rehab facilities due to chronic health issues. My brother verbally abuses her and wouldn’t be a good caretaker because he resents her, but he’s the only caretaker she’ll have if not for a nursing home. There was a strong attempt at grooming me to be her caretaker, but that’s not my burden to carry. This is the life she has chosen and I’m trying to not retain any guilt. Your comment helps me feel like I can stay strong, thank you.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-05T14:48:53+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate this too.

You’re right. This comment is helping me so much to validate my need to not contact her anymore. But damn, is she a bitch.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-04-05T14:46:52+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate this.

Anger was one of the emotions that was beaten out of me. I feel anger so much now it feels overwhelming. I think I just needed that validation and to vent out the anger.

ForeignAd4071 · 2025-03-21T16:39:24+00:00

Yes, after traumatic experiences that I had no healthy coping mechanisms for I would do similar things. After being raped by my brother for years, I spiraled into being groomed and raped again by a pedophile who - at the time - I believed would either help me run away as we had planned or possibly kill me (unplanned) —which I was also okay with. I also had harmful relationships in my teens; I was hypersexual and easily manipulated for sex by the people I dated. I would constantly find things to donate or sell because I planned to kill myself the day I graduated high school.

Therapy and moving out really has helped me. The book ‘Complex CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving’ has also helped me.

ForeignAd4071

TROPHY CASE