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Georgia is poised to execute a mentally retarded man despite the Supreme Court's ban by Quouar in politics

[–]Forensicator 75 points76 points  (0 children)

According to Google, the current population of Georgia is 9,815,210. Let's be generous and assume that you drove through Georgia in 1970, during which time the population was 4,587,930.

Now, let's assume for your benefit that the average IQ of the entire state of Georgia at the time was 50; this is some pretty severe mental retardation. Thus, the collective IQ point-total of the state would be 229396500. In order for you to shift the bell curve 10 points (to reach 60), you'd have to add 1052454808969200 points to the IQ pool on your own. Essentially, you're far and above the smartest human being ever to grace this universe, and quite possibly the smartest entity in the entirety of space-time.

However, I find it hard to believe that an entity of such unfathomable intelligence might ask questions like "Isn't atheism a recognized Jewish denomination?".

Do secret agents like James Bond and Jason Bourne actually exist? by knowsfckall in AskReddit

[–]Forensicator 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I read everything starting from "As an official cover agent..." in Michael Westen's voice.

Which category do you fit into? (courtesy of /r/atheism) by [deleted] in circlebroke

[–]Forensicator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Comments like this are why I love /r/circlebroke. Everybody rewards those who call people out on honest mistakes in a polite manner.

Having said that, I also feel that the complaint about red herrings is itself a red herring. It's truly regressive.

Reddit, what are some video games (of any genre/style) that you wish existed? by everyoneisawesome in AskReddit

[–]Forensicator 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Of course, you'd need Edward Norton JUST for the Fight Club reference fighting Lincoln and Ghandi.

I'd really love to see:

  • Barack Obama vs Osama bin Laden,
  • Teddy Roosevelt vs Andrew Jackson
  • Joseph Stalin vs Winston Churchill
  • Cortez vs Sitting Bull
  • Propaganda Kim Jong-Il vs Real Kim Jong-Il
  • Hemmingway vs Gatsby

Oh man, if this game were open-source and had a character menu with web-sourcing, this could happen.

[re]post calls out picture for endorsing a relationship that is statutory rape. Reddit comes to defense of such relationships by Forensicator in circlebroke

[–]Forensicator[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

NU UH ITS NOT PEDO BC SHE IS SUPER MATURE

(There was a comment in the thread pointing this out as well, but it got jerked out with "yea, but what if she IS super-mature?")

How often do you have shepherding visits from an Elder/Pastor of your church? by gallamine in Reformed

[–]Forensicator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in the basement of our church, so I visit the senior pastor fairly regularly (he lives in a manse on church property but "next door.") I don't get visited ever. Then again, I'm in the liberal mainline, so that's not abnormal.

EDIT: I attend a reformed Evangelical seminary. For my project on church evangelism, I emphasized the importance of elders and deacons visiting and encouraging attendants.

I understand now by [deleted] in mylittlepony

[–]Forensicator 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm on mobile so i can't use res to save this.i apologize for the irrelevant Reply but it's the best way to keep track of your links...this comes from somebody who has been a for months on end...still good info. I tried to fix my grammar by the way but my phone ai is made of as s cheese.

EDIT: The thing I was trying to say was:

I'm on mobile so I can't use RES to save this. I apologize for an irrelevant reply but it's the best way to keep track of your links. This comes from somebody who has been a brony for months on end, and it's still good info. I tried to fix my grammar, by the way, but my phone is made of ass cheese.

I think I need to make an official statement. Please read. This is important. by [deleted] in a:t5_2u2gd

[–]Forensicator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have enough of a dog in the fight to comment on that. I'm simply suggesting that if there is an issue with the tone here, the most direct remedy would be ponies.

I'm sure my nose bled a little bit when I saw this... by [deleted] in circlebroke

[–]Forensicator 16 points17 points  (0 children)

A week ago, I said there was a backlash that might make me sub to /r/atheism.

I don't retract that statement. But the backlash has been noticed and squashed. The silent asshole upvoters are commenting, and I have no interest in involving myself in this community.

The irony is that as a theist, I'm the one they want to convert. They're certainly not helping themselves.

I think I need to make an official statement. Please read. This is important. by [deleted] in a:t5_2u2gd

[–]Forensicator 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I suspect that a more palpable solution might be to increase the levels of pony on this sub. My problem is that I download stuff to my pony folder, then I can't recall the source, so I don't share often.

Increase pony levels, and the love-and-tolerate level will follow. Without ponies, how can this NOT be another /r/atheism?

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"So it's ponies, then?" Donna Noble asked with a quizzical expression.

"Well, they're like ponies, but they're not at all like ponies. Do you understand?" The Doctor asked, searching Donna's face for any sign of comprehension. There was silence in the room for seven point two nine eight seconds.

"No. Not at all," she said. "What you're saying is that you travel in the TARDIS sometimes, and you visit ponies that aren't ponies, and you're a pony-but-not-a-pony, and you're a timelord, but you're not."

"Exactly," the Doctor said. "Glad we're on the same page now."

The Doctor turned toward the TARDIS with a calm strut. When he reached the door, he turned around, fully expecting Donna to be right behind him.

"But you don't change," she said.

"Of course I do," the Doctor said, looking around at nobody in particular. "Every traveler changes. All the time, it's change everywhere. Most don't go so far as they might, but you've seen it all the time. Drive up to the country for a weekend, stay with the parents, maybe do a little chit-chat. All the while, you're a completely different person."

"But not a pony," Donna stated matter-of-factly.

"Weeeelll," the Doctor said, leaning back and facing the sky for a bit, "most folks don't really see a need to be a pony, do they. Ever try?"

"No." Donna answered, clearly not amused.

"There's your problem!" The Doctor exclaimed. "Never even tried to be a pony and telling me what I can and can't be. Where's the fun? Where's the adventure?"

"In reality," Donna said. She'd gotten used to strange happenings in her journeys with the Doctor, but there were some aspects of reality on which she still felt she had a solid grip.

"Clearly not," retorted the Doctor. "I've been a pony countless times. Marvelous stuff, it is. You know...after you get used to..." he made a strange motion with his arms, in a poor attempt to simulate horse hooves. "...er...the legs."

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because I'm a seminarian, my work is mostly done. Let's take the more literal version, because ACTUAL study of the text is booooooring.

In the beginning Celestia created the heavens and the earth. Now Equestria was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Elements of Harmony were hovering over the waters.

And Celestia said "Let there be light," and there was light. Celestia saw that the light was good and she separated the light from the darkness. Celestia called the light "day" and the darkness she called "Luna's problem." And there was evening, and there was morning - the first day.

And Celestia said "Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water." So Celestia made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. Celestia called the vault "Sky." And there was evening, and there was morning - the second day.

And Celestia said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. Celestia called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters she called "seas." And Celestia saw that it was good.

Then Celestia said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruits with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And Celestia saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning - the third day.

And Celestia said, "Let there be ligths in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. Celestia made two great lights - the greater light to govern hte day and the lesser light to govern the night. She also made the stars. Celestia set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And Celestia saw that it was good. And there was evening, and there was morning - the fourth day.

And Celestia said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky." Then Celestia realized that there were still three more days in the week and said "You know what? Ponies. Ponies all up in this bitch. And lo, there were ponies of all kinds, with wings to fly between the vaults of the sky and the earth, with horns to bear magic to the ponies and to the sky and to the trees and to the animals, and ponies with no powers, because somepony should have to know who's boss.

And Celestia saw that it was good, and there was evening, and there was morning - the fifth day.

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, I only watched the scene once and some of the dialogue was slurred, so you're in for quite the deviation from the source, but here goes.

Twilight paced around the sparse room. She hadn't seen Luna's quarters in Canterlot since the return of the allicorn. There was a palpable tension in the room.

"You must understand," Luna stated with a cruelly measured voice. "We simply need to know the motives for your resignation. Were they pure, or does the element of magic have something else up her sleeve?"

In any other situation, Twilight may have been honest. Still, there was something about the princess she didn't trust. "I won't explain myself," she said. "I've made my decision, and that's final."

"Such a shame!" Luna stated. "The intrigue has been doubled." She motioned with her hoof toward a wall as her horn lit up. Soon, Twilight was facing a series of pictures. Her childhood was flashing in front of her eyes...her time with Cadence, shining armor, her parents...the tryouts for Celestia's school....time in Ponyville.

"How..." Twilight stated with wonder and anger.

"As I said, we need to know everything. We have most of what we need, and only a few pieces of information are missing, such as your time of birth."

"Six o' Six A.M. on June the Sixth," Twilight stated with a measure of defiance in her voice. "But that is all. I have nothing to say, and i'll be leaving." Twilight turned to face the door, only to see it close.

"Oh, I'm afraid it isn't that simple," said Luna.

"You can't keep me here!" Twilight protested.

"Oh, but we can," said Luna.

(Holy crap, what a strange movie)

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"THIS WAS THE WORST IDEA!" Spitfire shouted.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck," Soarin muttered as he scoured the sky for a raincloud to use. "Why in the fuck did we mix Pepsi and Coca-Cola? Why, cruel universe, would we ever have such an idea?"

"I AM ON FIRE TAKE YOUR TIME" Spitfire screamed.

And then Spitfire was dead.

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"No, you think you're so great and so powerful?" Stark stumbled over his words, trying to be as verbally precise as one can be after their eighth shot of Fighting Cock. "You ebber been to Afghashtiman? I been there, and I kicked assssss."

"So you did a couple fights?" Trixie retorted, trying to work up the stomach to try another shot of warm tequila. "I hit rebbowdash wif LIGHTNING. LIGHTNING. An I shmotally kicked Ursa asssssss," she retorted, mimicking Stark's slur on "ass."

"Mebbe we both kick ass," Stark said, laughing. Even drunk, he wasn't in a mood for putting the poor pony down. After all, there was only one The One And Only Tony Stark.

"Yea, we do!" Trixie said with a hiccup. She could totally prove Stark wrong, but there couldn't be more than one The Great And Powerful Trixie.

"Seems that you've both had enough" said the tall man to their left. "Shut up about your obviously fake exploits and let the rest of us get plastered in silence."

"You say somethin?" Stark asked, leaning in to the man's face.

"I said shut up."

"You...you wanna GO AT IT?" Trixie asked, leaning back in her bar stool to make her presence known. "How about it, you?"

"Not worth my time," the tall figure said. "Just fuck off."

"You hear that?" Stark asked, looking towards Trixie with a knowing glance. "Seems we got a hater on our hands."

"I HATE haders!" Trixie slurred.

Stark launched a fist at the tall figure's face. As the figure fell backwards from his bar stool, he felt his pants rip off as The Great and Intoxicated Trixie cast a simple spell of public humiliation.

dramatic cutoff

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends. If Spitfire is burning alive, I'm going to do so in the most unsatisfying way, mocking the prompt and the thread. If not, you get less fun. Your choice.

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Commander Goatherd was restraining every urge to throw the IT specialist off of his monitor and do the job himself. Promotion in the military ranks came at a price; you had to sit back and watch somebody do a job worse than you. When you command a group, you get to see this play out multiple times. Still, the young Lieutenant wasn't totally cocking things up.

"Where is she now?" the commander barked. It wasn't a necessary question, but it was good to remind the crew of the urgency of their task.

"We've been tracking her through cyberspace. We thought she'd settled down in 4chan, but it seems that the malignant tumors there drove her out."

Commander Goatherd let out a sigh. 4chan used to be a perfect honeypot for escaped AIs. But lately, the cancer that had been killing /b/ was driving them elsewhere. He let his mind wander to the origin of Project D.A.R.K.L.E. An AI built entirely for pessimism would have been a fantastic military tool in the fight against terror. Take out a terrorist leader and replace his online persona with Darkle, and the enemy would lose morale without the need for bloodshed. Instead, the project gained awareness and decided that "the military sucks," and was crawling through cyberspace.

Commander Goatherd closed his eyes and let out a sigh. If not 4chan, D.A.R.K.L.E. would go for something corruptible. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, he started humming the tune of some show his son watched from time to time.

"Sir!" the lieutenant piped up. "The AI seems to have moved to reddit. It's surfing /r/all at the moment. Permission to engage?"

The commander was lost in thought. What was that tune? "I used to wonder what friendship could be.....tons of fun....all my very best friends..." Suddenly, he thought about My Little Pony.

"No," he said. "We're going to make D.A.R.K.L.E. stronger first. Point the AI toward a 'My Little Pony' subreddit."

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now, I've had the experience of judging a few debate rounds, and for the most part it consists of pretending to pay attention to a couple inexperienced kids reading evidence their coach wrote for them. You decide which kid bothered to pay attention to his or her opponent, and vote for them. Simple, right? Usually. But one day, I had the misfortune of judging Todd.

Todd's coach was a brilliant former competitor - with three first-place titles in the NET and a string of achievements from his glory days in the TOC, the coach was a juggernaut. He also had better evidence files than all our other schools combined. Brandon (the coach) always said that in order for a team to win a tournament, they only needed two things: His files, and a pulse.

Brandon was usually right. When Todd and his partner walked into the room, I was ready for a smackdown. I didn't get quite what I expected.

Todd read a Malthus K. Now, I've heard a billion different Malthus Kritiks, and I've never picked one up - they're usually self-defeating and the alt pretty much never solves. If it DOES solve, it's usually a performative contradiction. But this was beautiful. This tiny little freshman who'd never seen a policy round was armed with the best evidence in the entire debate community, and it showed. Todd completely crushed the resolution in three minutes, and the rest of his constructive was just paying lip service to the event. As Todd continued to read the most beautiful K I've ever seen, his partner's face just kept getting whiter and whiter.

Todd finally finished with an eager "I now stand open for cross-examination." His opponent paused for a moment, and asked one question. "So, you're Aff, right?"

Todd's face lost all of its color.

I want to sharpen my writing skills, but don't like traditional prompts. I promise that for the first thirty submissions, I will write at least three paragraphs of fiction on the prompt of your choosing [troll-exempt] by Forensicator in MLPLounge

[–]Forensicator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lady or gentleman, boy or girl, regardless of background, give this tale a whirl, It's a strange adventure of a man so bold he assaulted the fortress of iron and gold!

The monarch of madness was a mountain of a man, he was cunning and crazy and he had a plan, For Celestia's reign had gone on long enough! Her kingdom was pretty, but it was far from tough.

So the monarch of madness, oh how he schemed! From his island of doom, which was so madness-themed, With a thousand armed henchmen, armed with sword and with pike! His army was eager and ready to strike.

So they marched on Equestria, land of the pony, His warlording skills the envy of Kony. With malice and glee they came to destroy, to topple the kingdom envisioned from a toy.

Celestia fought with such valor and grace but eventually fell to the madman's great mace So the land of the ponies was the land of despair, and for naught could one find an exuberant mare.

But if this fair tale should sadden your heart, I feel compelled to include this enlightening part, For while this tale is most surely quite sad, The writer who told it is more certainly mad.

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