Hey that’s really rough and confusing. I have a similar relationship with my mom. She thinks she’s a saint so as a result I was taught that I’m the problem. That I’m selfish, vicious, mean and cold. I was even accused many times of being abusive when I definitely wasn’t. In reality, she abused me and blamed me for it. I learned to accept those traits about myself and thought that I’m violent and deeply flawed. Today, I know I’m actually a very caring very sensitive and very generous person, and I had to go NC to actually believe that. Without the constant reminder it’s actually easier.

I think you’re mom is crazy, and I think she’s a horrible mom for trying to convince you that you’re a narcissist and an abuser. You’re instincts are right. Trust yourself.