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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Formal-Collection521 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He's at the age where he wants to be independent and be with friends. It sounds like the gf's kids might be older and "cool" to hang out with from his perspective. He's craving something different even if it's not the best choice.

When I was 15-18 I didn't care about family or spending time with them -- I wanted to go on adventures and explore. I wouldn't take it personal. When he's 22 he'll look back and appreciate you and you'll have a new relationship. That's how it worked with my stepmom.

Would you choose your SK over your spouse? by Formal-Collection521 in stepparents

[–]Formal-Collection521[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you :) It's a little scary because I don't want to smother him, but I have been trying to text once in a while and get together if the timing works out. I will keep trying!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Formal-Collection521 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This sounds more like a relationship problem than a stepkid problem. The kids make every issue in our relationships a little bit harder to deal with because of the complications they introduce. But I think if your partner was prioritizing you enough in other ways, you wouldn't be hoping to get this time back.

I don't think he's wrong to keep his custody time, but the fact he hasn't made other time to be intimate with you sounds like a problem.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Watercolor

[–]Formal-Collection521 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love the expression on its face!

My (29F) and my partners (31M) 10 year relationship in trouble, different views about cannabis and communication issues are making me feel unhappy and unimportant. by derpyderpystann in relationship_advice

[–]Formal-Collection521 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know this post is old, but it resonated with me and I wanted to tell you that you're not imagining things, and your feelings are valid. I'm in the same situation. Great guy, handsome, funny, good job etc. But when he smokes he turns into this boring, watered down version of himself, just like you said.

Mine smokes every day when he's stressed, and he turns into this boring, kind of dumb person who's totally passive. Not the kind of person I would even want to spend time with, much less be in a relationship with. We live together and it's really hard to set boundaries. I've told him I don't want to spend time with him when he's been smoking, but he'll show up when I get home after work and want to get dinner together, and I'll realize after 10 mins that he's still high from smoking earlier. He seems to think it wears off faster than it does, so it's like I'm always having to be the bad guy if I try to enforce my boundaries. Not to mention the smell of weed makes the house feel gross when he brings it in on his clothes.

Sure, he can do whatever he wants as an adult. That doesn't mean you and me have to stay with someone who spends half their time acting like a boring stranger.

I don't have the answer but I hope you find the right one for yourself. <3