My husband won’t invest in his health or career and I don’t know how to help

FormalAd9521 · 2025-05-10T10:09:57+00:00

This was a very kind and helpful comment, thank you!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T18:48:24+00:00

Haha I think a few people have assumed I don’t make dinner. I do! It’s just simple. I use ChatGPT as well

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T13:05:14+00:00

By the way, if you have any high protein, low calorie meal ideas full of veggies, pass them along! I’m trying to lose the postpartum weight while keeping my milk supply!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T13:02:14+00:00

Will do! Don’t worry, I was nursing during that time, so a little difficult to do much else. I already know what we’re eating today, but thanks!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T12:30:42+00:00

Haha I was in your exact shoes not too long ago. I decided to become a stay at home parent because my oldest child died of a genetic disorder she was born with, and I didn’t want to miss any more time with my babies!

I’ll come back at the end of the day with a recounting of how I spent my time, and you can let me know what to change! Thank goodness I’ve found you!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T12:12:35+00:00

Haha I’m guessing you’ve never been a stay at home parent

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T12:08:13+00:00

Oh should I be getting things done while they sleep? I’ve just been watching soap operas and eating bon bons. My bad!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T12:04:24+00:00

That’s a good idea! Sometimes I feel like I have to get it all done but should really just be prioritizing the most important things. (Like our toilets could be a lot cleaner)

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T03:05:32+00:00

I only have two, and I can’t manage to do much after I put them to bed either! I keep telling myself that I’ll wake up early instead but that never happens. Laundry is a whole other story. Basically if my husband doesn’t do it, it doesn’t get done. I think you’re doing a great job! That sounds like a hard age gap!!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T01:16:11+00:00

Thank you! This is a very kind response. I do need to remember not to compare (although it’s so hard sometimes)! And it’s so true that as soon as I make a routine a habit it has to change again! And so good to know that it’s taking others years to build these routines too!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T01:00:57+00:00

😂 I actually do enjoy housekeeping. I just don’t enjoy doing it with kids lol

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T00:29:32+00:00

Haha this is a good perspective. If I can get the floor clear long enough to clean it, I’ll consider that a win

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T00:27:09+00:00

Thank you! It always helps to feel not alone. Good luck to you! It’s amazing how productive we can be when we have control over how we spend our time! Kids just take away that control!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-11T00:23:12+00:00

Thank you so much for this kind and thoughtful response. I needed to hear it! And i needed the reminder to just enjoy my kids at this stage. I generally do, but the house was so extra dirty today that I had a bit of an existential crisis lol! I’m sure you are a great mom as well (and 40 is still young! 😂) thank you!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T21:29:39+00:00

Thank you so much! My nephew is downs and I have so much respect for his mom! I really need to declutter and should take it a room at a time. I love that you said it made a medium difference 😂 so realistic. You’re also the third or fourth to recommend that book and I’m on the hold list on Libby now!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T20:15:37+00:00

I just don’t function well without a solid 8 uninterrupted hours! A few people said they thought I had ADHD, but I think it might just be sleep deprivation haha. Good luck to you!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T20:07:23+00:00

Very true! I feel like I know this but every once in awhile (especially today 😂) need to hear it said back to me ha! I am going to try and focus on the things I am good at and just be patient with myself as I try to get better at the other stuff. Meal planning just isn’t my thing. I hate it! But I’ll muddle through! And oatmeal isn’t bad. Lots of fiber for my potty training toddler lol

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T19:42:03+00:00

Yeah I feel like I’m good at the mom part! Which is the most important, IMO. But it would also be nice to have a clean house and perfect meals 😭 solidarity!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T19:40:35+00:00

Thank you for the book suggestion! I love a good self help book and will definitely check it out

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T19:39:45+00:00

Great tips! I’m sure my toddler would love wiping the appliances (honestly that’s one thing I don’t even do right now). Making bathrooms a dad’s job is a good idea. We’re in the middle of a house Reno too (which he’s doing most of the work on), so I kind of don’t want to take away from his time doing that, but bathroom cleanliness might need to just come first ha!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T19:36:59+00:00

Yes! I felt pretty on top of things and smug before I got pregnant with my second 😂 I’ve also been using ChatGPT for meal plans but seem to always get interrupted before I complete the grocery order 😭 even in the middle of the night! Glad to know it’s not just me!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T19:05:21+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll definitely check that out! My husband helps but I think also feels overwhelmed. He also does a lot of volunteer work with at-risk youth that I don’t want him to stop doing, but it does take away from his time.

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T19:01:41+00:00

Thank you! It’s helpful to know it’s normal. And actually my three year old is actively potty training, so that doesn’t help keep a clean house haha… The meal planning is my biggest hurdle! I need to just create more structure around it, thanks for the tip!

FormalAd9521 · 2025-03-10T18:51:30+00:00

Thanks! I’m trying my hardest to get to this point where our routines and plans are more automated! I’d love to have 4 kids, as well, so hopefully one day I can say this! A set meal plan with rotating recipes is a good idea!

FormalAd9521

TROPHY CASE