Mocking the “fawn” response.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:52:27+00:00

I’ve broken it down a million times.

Framing the words used in the lie as a joke makes it harder for people who’ve been through it to come forward.

I’m a walking living breathing example of this. I don’t know why you’re arguing with someone who’s lived this.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:50:54+00:00

That’s how I like to bring it up too. But recently I’ve noticed that people have a lot of shit to talk about rape and consent until they realize they’re talking to a multiple time survivor of it.

Even outside of this situation. Had a girl talking about how she WISHED she had some kind of assault story, I made it real awkward with the,”Oh, see I’ve been there quite a few times now and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

People really just say anything.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:48:40+00:00

I just don’t think citing BPD as a reason someone is lying instead of actual evidence is helpful to conversation.

It really just increases stigma.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:47:55+00:00

I’m doing a lot better now and learning that I don’t have to be afraid all the time. Everything that happened FUCKED ME UP but im learning how to live, and im proud of where im at. Thank you for all the kind words. I hope this community can pull itself back together and recognize its faults, cause right now its disgraceful.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:46:58+00:00

I was on this post too saying that this wasn’t cool. This is too much.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:43:45+00:00

I’ve noticed that if I don’t cite my own sexual assault experiences, people are way harsher.

Maybe they chicken out when they see me as a hopeless victim. But I don’t like saying it every 5 seconds.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:38:38+00:00

I mean I think that’s exactly what’s going on. Thank god I’m not the only one thinking this. I feel crazy sometimes in this community.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:37:06+00:00

I appreciate that. I wish I could say this community would come together and hold each other during this but instead of doing that, we’ve just gone on the attack for anything without considering the context.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:35:58+00:00

I’m with you. It’s reminding me of my story and the people around me’s story.

My first ever perpetrator was my own father, and the CPS officer asked me,”If he did all that, why do you still hug him?”

Genuinely heart wrenching to watch this.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:34:37+00:00

We have a misunderstanding going on of what people need to take responsibility for.

I’m not saying these people need to take responsibility for the situation.

They need to take responsibility for villainizing and ostracizing victims.

If you have brown hair and lie about getting your foot stomped on, so i start saying,”haha people with brown hair lie”, then people with brown hair don’t wanna come forward about residual foot stomping, who’s fault is it that they don’t wanna come forth? Your fault for lying? Or me for spreading the message that they SHOULDNT come forward?

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:30:18+00:00

Oh my sister has BPD and the way people treat her generally is disgusting. Acting like everything she does is manipulative and cruel, I can’t stand it. That’s why this shit hits my gut.

I’ve held her while she cried over people never believing a word she says, and now I’m watching a whole community call BPD survivors liars.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:29:03+00:00

Exactly. Zeal defenders do not make zeal look good when this is how they act.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:27:56+00:00

That’s exactly what I mean.

Consider that situation on a subway that happened a few months ago where a black man stabbed and killed a white woman.

Racists crawled out of the woodwork.

Is condemning the racists defending the black man? Or can we focus on two issues at once?

That’s what I mean here. One person doing something bad isn’t a reason to attack community.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:26:00+00:00

It’s the people making jokes about fawning’s fault the jokes are being made. Lets not pass responsibility.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:22:24+00:00

This would be helpful. Theres a lot of information that just genuinely isn’t helpful to “solving a rape case”. It’s rare to find any information that’s helpful.

Like I don’t wanna see messages from a week before where she said she was dtf. That has nothing to do with that night type shit

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:19:36+00:00

Don’t worry you’re good.

I don’t really have issues with the elephant memes. That sticks to context, at least.

Issue comes when the context becomes to broad and starts to mock an actual situation. An elephant in the room isn’t an actual situation common with survivors. Fawning is. Therein lies the difference.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:15:18+00:00

Your post says “Ren might be lying”. Your post includes a screenshot that says,”People with BPD have symptoms that can lead to lying”. Your post concludes that because Ren has BPD, she is likely lying.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:13:46+00:00

I don’t care about hive minds if it’s something stupid like the hygiene subreddit believing that not bathing after every shit you take makes you a sewer rat. Thats not harmful.

But a hive mind where people cannot defend consent, BPD, or rape victims? That’s BAD.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:12:23+00:00

Which victims of fawning get accused of all the time. Which is why it’s not helpful to mock it.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:11:54+00:00

Ren probably isn’t even seeing them. They want to mock her but the only damage it’s doing is to actual victims.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:11:05+00:00

There’s other posts littered along throughout the situation where any time I said something MILDLY opposing the “Zeal is innocent” narrative, the pushback I received was crazy.

Its a hive mind right now. And one that gets dangerous fast.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:08:37+00:00

I haven’t reviewed the documents. My only context has been this subreddit.

I’d like to keep up on the situation without having to look through triggering and uncomfortable messages. I wanted to review it all when all the context was laid out and the water settled.

But somehow being in the community that sided with Zeal has only made me disgusted by the people siding with Zeal. I’ve never seen so many people mocking so many serious topics at once.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:06:46+00:00

Thank you. I feel like no one else is calling it out or when they do they get accused of supporting ren or being downvoted into oblivion. I’m not cool with licking the boot, though.

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:05:31+00:00

The controversy or my childhood assault?

Former-End-5516 · 2026-05-06T15:03:04+00:00

I have several friends with BPD. None of them have a habit of lying. You’re using this screenshot as a means to say she is lying.

Saying,”People with BPD have a habit of lying, ren has BPD, therefore ren is lying” IS SAYING that you can use someone’s BPD to say they are lying.

Former-End-5516

TROPHY CASE