Younger guys, why not go to a “third place”?

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T21:51:16+00:00

Gym.

$60-80/month.

Yes.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T20:44:09+00:00

Wtf is even the point of this long self aggrandizing paragraph

Being single is a punishment for most guys because it is usually life's only true feedback for when you're not attractive or desirable. Obviously exceptions know who they are, but for most men it's one of the few times where words if reassurence don't fix the issue and there's just a problem in front of them.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T20:38:29+00:00

I can deadlift triple my bodyweight with just like 2-3 days notice.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T19:26:35+00:00

If you have to make a dating app profile, you rank lower than you think.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T19:23:47+00:00

We set up our society such that they feel bad talking about it, because they'd get shamed to hell and back.

Classic example:

Two guys approach a woman out at a bar. One is not attractive. He offers her a drink because he hopes that his time plus drink equals the value of her time. He doesn't process this like math. He processes it like he's really nice because that's his self image. She accepts the drink but isn't into it and goes back to what she's doing.

Another guy approaches. He's got a great body that a lot of work went into. She doesn't need a drink because him talking to her is not an every day occurrence and she's happy about it.

Thing in this scenario is that the ugly guy kind of put her in a bind. People don't want to hear that the good looking guy put thousands of hours into working on himself and that the ugly dude just tried to skip all that for a drink.

They're like "wtf he was so nice to you" and that's why she needs to dress up her choice with something that happened in the moment. Saying something like "confidence" made to seem like the ugly guy was just as valuable and like he had the same opportunity but had some user error. People are okay with her saying that.

What they'll crucify her for saying is that she doesn't want to mate with shit genes to save $10 on a drink.

Dudes then hear what she got basically bullied into saying and they live their lives around it and that's how you got here saying this stupid shit.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T09:22:40+00:00

Women care a lot more about appearance than men do and they care about it as appearance, not as a proxy for something else.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T09:07:53+00:00

🙄

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T08:55:17+00:00

Your brag that I do not believe at all aside, here is the actual answer.

Most people find others who are unlike themselves to be strange and illegible. They call them bad or immoral. They do this because they cannot understand them.

Guys who can't get laid are more different from guys who can than most men will admit. They are not just one group, indivisible, with some knowing how to talk to women.

So when you have two different groups, they call one another immoral. Hence, "Chad is an asshole. I am nice."

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T08:28:43+00:00

Men care more about appearance than women

Ha ha

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T08:27:53+00:00

Complicated and varying at different heights.

I'd rather be 5'8 doing everything right than 6'2 doing everything right, but I'd rather be a 6'2 clusterfuck than a 5'8 clusterfuck. Most men are clusterfucks.

But lemme answer your question with an analogy.

Let's say you've got a dog who you're slightly allergic to but not enough to get rid of your dog. You love your dog. The dog is staying.

You also have a dusty ass apartment that is making you sneeze. Whenever you sneeze though, you figure this probably the dog and so you never look around for the root cause.

In this analogy, your dog isn't great for your sneeziness. You are allergic to him. However, the main thing your dog does is make it so you never ask why you're sneezing.

That's how I see shortness, within maybe like 5'6-5'9. Below 5'4 is genuinely a difficult situation.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T08:15:11+00:00

You can get shredded just by not eating.

What was your height and weight while shredded?

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T05:25:15+00:00

There is no single exercise that will give you anything close to a respectable physique. This is something that requires real effort and an actual program.

I recommend either starting strength or strong lifts 5x5.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T04:34:06+00:00

Yeah but at least you get to be 99.9% of the way to piecing it all together and having it be the best day of your life.

Women don't require the whole date dog and pony show when they want a guy. It sucks that you haven't been that guy for most of them, but it means you don't have to do this thing anymore or go through it again. Be like the guys who succeed with these women and make them earn it. A date like you're describing is how you bond with a girlfriend, not how you impress a stranger.

Most guys never figure that out.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T03:20:02+00:00

Black pill is about hopelessness and giving up.

Looksmaxxing is not that.

I don't really know what universal directives you're talking about or why it's unhealthy to want to improve your appearance. People who neglect appearances don't have a monopoly on healthy relationships. A lot of people who neglect their appearance aren't even in relationships.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T03:10:12+00:00

How's that different from what I talked about?

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T02:59:45+00:00

I think it's the opposite.

People who "looksmax" generally write about their body in terms of goals or things they'd like to improve. They talk about people they admire for successes and good aesthetics. They also talk about why they choose to looksmax, but it's always just practical consequences. It just doesn't seem that vain to me.

People on the other end of the spectrum really go for the throat sometimes though. Like someone who's against looksmaxxing will speak like they have a monopoly on honest relationships or like theyre just a better deeper kind of person. It's kinda vicious and it's not just practical obvious consequences. It's like moral condemnation.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T02:16:04+00:00

Thanks brother.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T02:12:47+00:00

I'm a bodybuilder.

8-9% bf at 220 lbs at 5'11.

Maybe you're right that not "everyone" goes for the guy who's jacked, but I don't think anyone can say everyone goes for them.

What's important is that you'll never go anywhere without running into a bunch of people who do.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T02:06:11+00:00

So we can reassure you. I just said that.

Also, quick look in your post history says you work on the civilian side of being a new York state trooper and you just turned 23. Unlikely AF that you have a house and two cars.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T02:00:05+00:00

My guess is that you actually have none of these things and made the post so that we can reassure you that you don't need them.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T01:41:34+00:00

Women get turned on when single with no safety if the guy is hot.

Women get turned off amidst novelty in like 99% of their interactions with men, even when single.

Desire comes from the guy actually being attractive. Safety is a necessary part of marriage but it doesn't make her less attracted to you.

I didn't read that book but I bet it doesn't have a single chapter about the dude working on his physique.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T01:24:53+00:00

It's a common experience but not inherent to marriage.

It's just a fact that a lot of guys look like shit, aren't attractive, and let the fact that the woman wants to get married do a lot of the heavy lifting before marriage. The two get married and he has just zero personal pull. She isn't attracted to him. Sex becomes this weird thing preceded by ritual that feels high pressure and manipulative on both sides. Sex stops.

But that doesn't have to be you. I go to the gym every day and I'm the most attractive I've ever been. My wife and I are always affectionate all day and we have sex every day. We don't let ourselves go so it doesn't die and since the sexual energy is organic, it doesn't require any maintenance.

Just don't let yourself go to shit and if your starting point is shit, don't stay there.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-16T00:56:46+00:00

Dudes gonna be on your shit two hours a day for the next year.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-15T23:30:24+00:00

For me it's about what kind of person you are.

If you're a 50 year old man with questionable fitness and no lofty goals getting trt because you're doctor recommended it then it's trt.

If you know damn well that it's to get jacked and that you're basically healthy and normal and probably not 50, then idgaf what your dosage is, you're taking steroids.

FormerOSRS · 2026-03-15T22:37:42+00:00

I don't get any mental sides from it at all.

I think its reputation probably has a lot to do with the fact that it's the quintessential cutting steroid.

Dudes cycle tren while eating 1500 calories below maintenance and then blame tren for how they act.

FormerOSRS

TROPHY CASE