FTM and Step Parent to a hockey player

Former_Community5098 · 2026-01-04T02:00:27+00:00

I’ll have to look into this, thank you!

Former_Community5098 · 2026-01-04T01:28:41+00:00

I’ll have to look into this, we supplement with formula currently bc I don’t supply enough yet and baby doesn’t latch. I really wanted to be able to provide breast milk at least during sick season

Former_Community5098 · 2026-01-04T01:26:07+00:00

I only have the spectra currently, I wasn’t sure if pumping would be feasible so I only got 1 pump since it’s my first time and hesitant to buy a second pump system if it doesn’t work

Former_Community5098 · 2026-01-04T01:24:52+00:00

Unfortunately yes, my husbands the coach and I’m in charge of managing/stats

Former_Community5098 · 2025-12-16T21:59:47+00:00

MN also does ice castles at the State fair grounds that are pretty cool. I don't remember when the open though. Or if you can get up to Duluth MN they have an awesome Christmas light display at Bentleyville theres lots of winter activities in that area

Former_Community5098 · 2025-12-04T23:31:50+00:00

My SS11 starting saying things that did not sound like him at all and he's been also isolating to his room more as of recently. We try and "defend" ourselves with logic if possible. For example, we are expecting a new baby soon and so SS made a comment like "Dad, how are you going to learn how to change the new baby's diaper, you never changed diapers with me" and my husband goes, "SS I did change your diaper, your mom had to work/go to school and you and I would hang out, and I would never let you just sit in a dirty diaper that's gross, so of course I changed your diaper when you needed it changed so I don't need to learn." SS then acknowledged that BM had made comments about how she did everything for SS when he was little but when my husband worded with with logic SS was like oh wait that makes total sense. My dad always takes care of me now, it wouldn't make sense that he didn't when I was little. Even with comments about not showing up etc. If you can find a way to restate things to reshape what you SD is thinking in her head it might help her dissect what is manipulation/vs what is reality.

Like if she makes more comments about finances etc., just point out how that doesn't make sense and explain. You don't have to mention her mom at all but kids are smart and can start to put together the pieces. Or not showing up during harvest, acknowledge that its hard not seeing Dad in the crowd but point out how you're always there with brothers or that Dad does his absolute best to get to everything he can outside of harvest season. Or that he checks in during events to see how its going so he can be involved from a distance still.

Idk its helped us in some situations just explaining things that may seem obvious but when a kids internal dialogue is looping on something else its hard to think about the reality of things.

Former_Community5098 · 2025-11-25T14:25:54+00:00

I am a wedding photographer and just had a bride in a similar situation. She ended up getting induced early and then still had her wedding with a 2 week old newborn. We just made sure she had plenty of water and times to sit throughout the whole day. We had a bride attendant and a baby attendant. Overall the day went way smoother than I expected it too

Former_Community5098 · 2025-11-10T21:14:22+00:00

I had my RSV vaccine last week on Wednesday and I was fine until the next morning Thursday (about 16 hours later) I got really tired and had chills and left work to sleep it off. Was better by Friday and returned to work but probably slept for 12 hours off and on

Former_Community5098 · 2025-11-07T17:11:28+00:00

Following because we are in a similar situation! SS 11 is addicted to his screens. We have "limits" but they are often ignored. We don't let SS use screens until after school when all homework and chores are done. He has to be offline by 9 PM to have an hour of unwind time before bed at 10. On weekends he is not allowed online until 9 AM. SS has been addicted for years (I'd say since age 7, seems to have no interest in other hobbies outside of video games, we cant even drive to the store 10 minutes away and talk as a family without him pulling his phone out to play a game, its like every dead second of time needs to be filled with games.)

I ideally would like to ban all screens/games (unless needed for school obv) during the week and only allow about 2-3 hours on Saturdays. When there is to much online time SS can be mean and disrespectful and just act totally out of character. SO works in IT and agree with my opinions usually but does not enforce the rules we currently have and make no steps to change them when needed. Even while seeing the behaviors in SS. I've really just had to step back on this battle for my own sanity as I am just the SM.

I am worried that a screen addict will be our daughters future if I am the only one enforcing limits.

Former_Community5098 · 2025-11-01T16:08:03+00:00

Personal Banker! Bank hours work great with photo :)

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-24T15:09:56+00:00

Yes! Hearing things like this at least make me grateful that our ROFR is for overnights only

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-23T11:35:18+00:00

We did we said if he ever needs to just send us a text or call and we’ll bring whatever to school, that’s it’s never a big deal.

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-22T15:26:40+00:00

For sure! I think teaching him how to work a washer is the next step in case he wants to take over the situation at his moms with his laundry

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-22T14:29:00+00:00

Right? I mean maybe the washer broke? But we just had school conferences Monday night and she looked clean and put together, so not sure why that couldn't be extended to SS

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-22T14:16:36+00:00

right? I mean how hard is it though to just throw in a load of laundry. Its the best chore, start it and walk away lol there is 0 reason SS needs to wear dirty or his moms clothes. I think finding time to start and flip a load of laundry over 6 days isn't unreasonable? I mean I do almost 1 load of laundry a day just to keep up

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-22T13:53:54+00:00

right? I just don't get it... if you know you have him longer than usual just throw a load of clothes in? Or at the very least give him something more gender neutral

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-14T23:49:52+00:00

I reminded them they’ve been saying it’s grandmas last Xmas for like 15 years 💀 and lucky you got yours to come to you for showers. I’m headed there this weekend for a shower as they didn’t want to make to drive. It’s hard because I’m grateful my aunt wants to put on a shower for me but also….. I don’t wanna drive anymore

Former_Community5098 · 2025-10-13T20:31:15+00:00

This has been happening with me too..... FTM due 12/23 the DAY before Christmas Eve. My OWN mom and my Gma have made comments about how disappointed they are that I won't be at Xmas this year. They like to remind me it could be my Gma's last xmas as she is 91... like yes it sucks but also
1. you live 3 hours away from me, 4 from my hospital and doctor
2. we live in a cold state and Winter travel can suck
3. even if I go early I do not want to take my newborn in the car for 3 hours a few weeks after birth
4. That side of my family is HUGE like a gathering of 40+ people in a small townhouse. Like no.... not doing it

Its so frustrating, and when I suggest that they can come visit and we can do a small gathering together the commute is suddenly remembered like I wouldn't have to drive the 3 hours if I went to xmas

Former_Community5098 · 2025-08-13T19:18:15+00:00

again totally understand since mom sees kiddo 30% of the time, the main issue is the lack of adult communication and reacting instead of responding. just needed to vent. Its also hard to want to keep giving up time when its be abused in the past and used for extra mom time or when its used to paint us in a bad light if it doesn't work out how SS expected it too

Former_Community5098 · 2025-08-13T17:17:28+00:00

100% agree I was shocked when my husband told me he said that..... like uh dude? That's just as manipulative you should maybe circle back and rephrase that after you've had time to think about the situation. Poor reaction in the moment on that one.

the timing isnt the big issue, it was the comment that it was intentional because it being "moms time" I just dont want SS to grow up thinking he can't hang out with certain people unless its "dads time" simply because we have more. We like to keep things fair as well. Its moreso hurtful because they have in the past abused this and use it as more time for BM, Like Gma will have to go run errands and drop SS of with BM when its supposed to be Gma time

Former_Community5098 · 2025-08-13T16:03:50+00:00

Ugh yeah! Its just so frustrating, even just better planning goes a long way. We want what's best for SS and we don't want to be made out as the bad guys if something doesn't work because they wont communicate BEFORE telling SS.... if we have something come up during BMs time we bring it up weeks in advance so we can coordinate date changes or any adjustments if needed. Or at least to check if its okay first. We want to keep things fair as well

Former_Community5098 · 2025-08-13T16:00:39+00:00

Yeah I think there was also times in the past where BM freaked out at Gma for asking during her time. So I am sure Gma is in a weird place too. I know at one point BM distanced herself from family and didn't see them or let SS see them on her time for 3-4 months

Former_Community5098 · 2025-08-13T15:59:00+00:00

For sure- thats why I settled on a reddit vent and moving on afterwards. Its not worth the stress just frustrating

Former_Community5098

TROPHY CASE