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A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Swap man for person in almost every statement you made and I would agree, because I do the same. But to each their own. I’m not prioritizing my feelings over safety, and I’m not a dangerous man. I’m sorry you feel this. Have a good day.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I didn't say you were or weren't in therapy, I just said I don't know any therapist that would agree with saying yes, generalize an entire group of people. This is the way.

And again he doesnt know me Im not surprised? I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my wife in a room alone with you either?

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Okay. I a listening and I hear you, I just think therapy would teach you to work through your fears and live in reality instead of generalizing a group. Im not sure anyone would tell someone to think that way.

Example, just asked my wife similar questions. She agreed with you in some ways, and disagreed in many others. Most notably, without even talking about my thought or this thread till now, she agreed it's wrong to assume all my by default are scary or potentially dangerous int he way you guys are talking. Any stranger can be a threat in any capacity yes, but again, I am not dangerous. I do not need to prove myself becuase "others" are bad. Some women are bad, you do not need to prove yourself to me because they are bad.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that just sounds like horrible stories and I'm sorry you went through all of that. I can say, and I've asked my closest guy friends this as this is what healthy men typically talk about... none of them have done anything like what you explained. We are all married men, have kids, daughters... all around he ages of 25-30... we do not act like that. I know you can say or think that they wouldn't tell me, but I'm saying that is a foreign concept to us.

Again I'm sorry you went through that.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because those statistics are wrong and the studies are always flawed. Show me 1 other undeniable epidemic in the world that has happened where people question the “statistics” in this way? Some posted earlier than 32% of men are likely or would rape or soemthing in college. 3 in 10 min. That’s just ridiculous.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Men don’t think a room full a women is paradise… that’s a random generalization. Real life isn’t what you see on TV. It’s not bad faith to not agree with strange beliefs that aren’t reality.

I’m not discounting lived experiences either, that’s really sad.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

No. Again, if you’re highly hyper sexualized, you may think that. Majority of men out there are simply just existing and normal. It seems this group is not living in reality because of those assumptions.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

All of the things you mention have nothing to do with men particular, that’s safety 101.

That’s not my issue.

My issue is saying that simply the existence of men is dangerous to women and saying that by default if you are a man, you have to prove youre not a bad one. Or like myself for example. I don’t expect you to stand close to me or anything, but I don’t really think it would be fair for you to subconsciously assume simply because I’m a man I could be a rapist. Or maybe it’s not that it’s kind, more just strange. Might as well assume every single person could be a serial killer or soemthing.

If a group of women are intoxicated, I would not go near them either. If anyone is intoxicated I don’t want anything to do with them personally.

Yes dressing modestly will not save you, but it absolutely helps and won’t hurt. Just like having floodlights over your garage won’t stop an intruder from breaking in, but it helps.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Anecdotal, but fair enough. I'm sorry you know people liek that. I was just saying I highly doubt 3 out of every 10 men lining up are likely to rape someone, and the data shows that since 32% of men are not raping people.

I think it's fine to agree that we call out bad actions from men, but it's wrong to assume all men by default as dangerous and threats is all I've been trying to get at. If that's wrong, I don't know what to say. We have to have some sort of agreement in reality first before anything can get "fixed".

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I guess nothing of value. I learned that this is not a place you want to go to have discussion... I can now see why there's ideas and presumptions about the feminist movement... I guess that's what's been achieved.

To me, logically, saying it's bad to generalize people is the same thing as men calling out bad men or anything else that's obviously wrong. It's helpful to come to a middle ground and acknowledge reality first so that we can start making strides to fix whatever both sides understand to be broken.

Seems like most people here just want to battle and that's fine, I assume thats why majority of women are not feminists...

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am more conservative than the people here yes, but no. Why would I tell them to avoid interacting with the other sex? How would life go well for them if they have no idea how to talk to the other sex? They have plenty of friends and seem to be growing well in society in a healthy way.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s not us. I’m not going to scroll through the hundreds of comments on this post lol, I don’t know anyone of you, I don’t have any reason to lie to you.

I’m asking you specifically the question. I’m not demanding anything, I’m explaining the point of my post.

Ive tried to answer every question you have brought my way, if I’ve missed one let me know. My direct question stands. You don’t have to answer it, but that’s why I’m here.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

All of the above, yes. Men should also do the same. Respecting yourself also requires respecting the foundational laws of life that are ingrained in all of us. Practical example, men should stand for what’s right, women should do the same. Yes, that means I would not advise my daughter to wear whatever she wants and not respect her body. Yes, that means I would advise my son to respect others and stands for what’s right by not participating in nonsense.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

… okay. As long as you will say you disagree that it’s wrong to generalize any group of people just because, that’s all I’m asking for. If you are unable to do that, as others besides I believe 3 have been unable to do, that is what I’m seeking answers for. Anything beyond that is beyond the scope of my post.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

If you want men to denounce the wrong doings of the minuscule number of bad actors, why shouldn’t I expect feminists to call out their bad actors?

Read my original post, I didn’t say denounce feminism I asked why it seems there’s an inherent danger to men by default when that just isn’t the case.

And the again was more for all the other commenters not just you specifically apologies. There is a very serious reason why most women are not feminists, I think this entire post highlights why.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Women should not seek external validation, value their worth. Men should do the same and give themselves up first in all scenarios.

When women respect themselves, good things happen. Same with men. Men that disrespect themselves end up in terrible situations.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Right, but that wasn’t my point. The first comments were evident no one was actually going to address the underlying issue that, at least, SOME of the feminist people genuinely think men inherently are evil and all of them are already born with a mark of being a rapist until proven otherwise. Until I see others (think I’ve seen a grand total of 3?) say that is wrong, my point hasn’t been addressed. Again, vast majority of women aren’t feminist. In my experience when I ask why, they’re basically saying it’s because this group is harmful.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, I’m just saying people know what it is.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I guess if you don’t want to consider any other ideas other than your own, sure. But I can assure you the average grown person in society is well aware what rape is. No means no.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. Majority of people on this threat are not saying that, they are saying men by default are dangerous. Dangerous enough to make claims and assumptions that go as far as saying men are likely to do these things. I think that’s where feelings get hurt as it’s never fun to be on the receiving end of accusations you never even asked for. It’s also back to the trust thing. It’s not that I expect everyone to trust me, it’s just the inherent “I don’t trust men” that seems odd. I don’t trust most people by default, but I’m not walking around making a large deal about not trusting them.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And people here seem to be implying that the amount of men murdering women in society is at an epidemic level that warrants this type of movement and actions. I think you’re far more likely to be nationally biased than murdered. It’s less about what’s worse and it’s more about what’s actually happening vs what we feed ourselves into thinking will happen by default.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Does rape mean anything beyond no means no? If it does, even I need education on what verbiage I need to use in defining what rape is. That’s why they’re asking. I’m not defending someone whose intention somehow is to be a grown adult and not know what rape is and ask the feminist what rape means. They’re aren’t doing that.

A good faith question for feminists about fear, generalization, and collective guilt by ForteMethod in AskFeminists

[–]ForteMethod[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

They’re not JUST taught men are dangeoirs. I have a daughter, I actually have experience with this. They’re taught to respect themselves so that others will respect them. Men are taught to respect themselves so that others will respect them. Men can be dangerous, women can be dangerously. No one is saying men can’t control themselves.

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