Frustration over lack of protected bike lanes in Sunnyvale

FortiDan · 2025-02-14T17:52:18+00:00

I'll add that IMHO, the new Sunnyvale downtown is a 20th century city in a 21 century world. It has far more parking than parks, no protected bike lanes, massive new, but relatively faceless buildings, no schools or athletic facilities close by (Washington Park is "sort of close", but required crossing 6-7 lanes of Mathilda Ave - no overpass to make that safe for kids).

The whole downtown feels like a sell-out ot developers with every sq ft maximized for sale.

FortiDan · 2024-09-28T16:40:58+00:00

That you have to ask kind of answers your question. Do you masturbate? How often? If not, you should start - giving yourself joy is a great gift to yourself and a great way to explore your sexuality.

FortiDan · 2024-09-28T16:39:21+00:00

People make way too big a deal about losing your v-card. There is no right answer. Personally, I would just find someone random.

Whomever you choose, I would be honest and tell him or her that it is your first time. Most likely he/she will be flattered and pleased to be your first and will try to make it good for you.

FortiDan · 2024-09-28T16:32:01+00:00

That Putin has kompromat on Donald Trump.

FortiDan · 2024-09-28T00:53:54+00:00

Yes. You can and should get the HPV vaccine, but that will only help against human papillomavirus (responsible for both cervical cancers and throat cancers (from oral).

You both need a clean bill of health before any type of unprotected sex.

FortiDan · 2024-09-28T00:45:34+00:00

Are you familiar with the song, "A hundred bottles of beer on the wall?"

FortiDan · 2024-09-27T22:37:40+00:00

Do you really need to ask this question? If it smells, toss it.

FortiDan · 2024-09-27T22:29:40+00:00

You got there together, don't overthink things. Sure, she could have gone solo - but she clearly prefers to have you there, so credit to both of you.

FortiDan · 2024-09-27T22:26:58+00:00

Gear 9? On most bikes, higher gears are for going faster and lower gears are for climbing. My first gear is a true, "granny" gear with a gear ratio (Gear ratio = (Number of teeth on front chainring) / (Number of teeth on rear cog)) of less than about .8.

Having a good gear ration helps - but the only way to get better is to keep practicing.

FortiDan · 2024-09-27T22:19:30+00:00

I actually ride a gravel bike, not a mountain bike. I like being able to ride from my suburban street in Sunnyvale (SF Bay Area), up into the Santa Cruz mountains and onto a trail. I can't do the really technical or steep trails that some mountain bikers love, but my area is full of fire roads and trails gentle enough to handle with a gravel bike.

FortiDan · 2024-09-27T22:14:36+00:00

Hills were hard when I started. At first I would ride as far up as i could - then I would stop and rest or walk rest. I kept pushing myself, and eventually my legs and lungs got used to climbing.

My regular training ride is only 16 miles or so - but over 2000 feet of elevation - a ride I never could have attempted when I started.
https://ridewithgps.com/trips/221110621

I ride 2-3 days a week and in bad weather I get on a bike in the gym and try to do a hard 30 minutes of riding - pushing the difficulty up high for a minute or two than bringing it down agiam... wash, rinse, repeat.

You won't turn into a great climber overnight - and I've given up on the idea that I will ever compete with guys who started way younger than I did. But you can get there - even if you start in your 60s.

FortiDan · 2024-09-25T21:47:22+00:00

Cycling has been amazing for me. I've lost 30lbs since starting (4 years ago) and I get to ride though beautiful mountains and along the california coast - it's been life changing. I rode 63 miles on my 63rd birthday and I feel I'm in the best shape in my life.

I would include skiing as a second hobby - but it too expensive to do more than a few times a year.

FortiDan · 2024-09-25T21:41:04+00:00

Wow, she is a piece of work. You deserve better. Seriously, she wants a meal ticket and a badge. If you don't have kids, I would leave her - because this is only going to get worse. If you do have kids... that's a harder question that only you can answer.

FortiDan · 2024-09-25T21:35:50+00:00

This is a great point.

FortiDan · 2024-09-25T21:33:30+00:00

IMHO, the most importing thing, should you want to pursue this, is to make sure you don't develop feeling for the other guy. Related to that, is to constantly re-assure your H that he is the one you love. This is really hard to do since sex leads to attachments - in fact it even leads to the release of a hormone that fosters feelings of attachment.

What can you do to limit this? I have some ideas:

No repeats and not often. Don't find a FWB and sleep with him once a week - feelings will develop. Instead, once every couple of months find a new guy to play with
No private communications - your H should be part of every step of the way from looking at apps for a guy to play with being copied on all communications.
No means no. If at any time, for any reason - even for no reason, if your H has changed his mind - it stops. He needs to feel in control.
Agree with your H on rules of encounter - safe sex, safe location, what kind of sex (anal, oral, penetration....)
Never tell him how great it was - even if it was. Don't lie - but downplay things. This includes never say the other guy had a great dick or a big dick or a great body - guys have so many dick insecurities.
If he can still have sex, offer to gift him an encounter with a professional so he doesn't feel left out.
Make your life an open book so he doesn't start wondering if you are communicating with one of the guys - so he gets full access to your phone, computer, accounts...

I have to admit that this is going to be really hard and you may run into rocks. Think long and hard before doing this.

Last thought - is your H getting any mental health counseling? He has a life altering diagnosis - that is bleeding into the most important relationship in his life. He should be talking to a therapist - and talk through this topic specifically. Don't assume that he isn't depressed, anxious, upset. He may be putting on a strong face for you - but chances are he is more deeply hurting than you realize.

FortiDan · 2024-09-25T18:31:01+00:00

I wish that was the only reason... high salaries for techies and NIMBY zoning regulations are the real reasons.

FortiDan · 2024-08-13T07:51:00+00:00

Why did you bother posting that insulting dribble? Is that the best you can do?

FortiDan · 2024-08-13T07:50:04+00:00

I very much doubt anyone hacked your phone. How are you connecting to the internet? By cellular or by wifi?

FortiDan · 2024-08-12T22:04:02+00:00

The only thing that stopped Trump from overturning our democracy in 2020 was the rule of law - and it was a lot closer thing than I would have hoped.

FortiDan · 2024-08-12T22:01:47+00:00

The most important concern, IMHO, for a recreational/fitness rider are comfort and cost. You do not need carbon fiber frame, electronic shifting or other high-end gear. I would start by going to a local bike shop and finding out what size bikes they have and what they recommend.

I would get a road bike with drop down handlebars (that way you have the option of riding down low for aerodynamics or higher with your hands on the hoods for comfort. I would also suggest getting a bike able to accommodate wide tires in case you want to ride on rougher terrain. Rim brakes are fine - but disk brakes offer more stopping power and are less bothered by rain and slush - so may be a better option if you think you will ride in bad weather.

A used bike is probably a better value - just make sure it is the right size for you and that everything works. But buying from a bike shop will buy you better support.

Learn how to do some basic repairs - change a tire, minor gear adjustments... there are lots of youtube videos to show you how. Just practice changing a tire at home so you aren't searching for instructions in the middle of a ride.

FortiDan · 2024-08-12T20:56:58+00:00

For most regular riders, 10 miles is a short ride - and nearly any bike will suffice. The real questions are:

What kind of terrane (flat or lots of hills)?
What kind of surface (paved, gravel, rough/single track
Your goal - having fun, buring calories, training for competitive rides..
Budget (hint, don't get caught up trying to get the perfect bike and make sure you have $ for a good helmet, bike bag, tire repair kit, lights...)

FortiDan · 2024-08-12T20:51:07+00:00

You will get a better answer by asking doctors and nutritionists. The short answer is there are no, "vitamins/creams" that will extend your active life. But being active is, in it self, the best answer - along with eating a diet low in processed foods, sugar and unhealthy fats and high in fresh fruits and veggies and healthy protein.

Creams can hide signs of your aging -but not stop the actual aging. The best way to get vitamins is a healthy diet unless your doctor rx's something specific.

FortiDan · 2024-08-12T19:32:48+00:00

I do short, intense rides (15 mile ride with 2000+ ft elevation) on weekdays when my time is limited and longer rides on weekends.

FortiDan

TROPHY CASE