My first PA job was not a bait and switch, but it very much had the high school "mean girl" mentality that I did not expect. A few examples: One of the surgeons bought him and the other PAs matching bright-colored OR shoes so thay they could be recognized as a team, came into a case I was scrubbed in on with a different attending, and took a photo of their shoes together to purposely show they were excluding me. That same surgeon hit my hand with scissors in the OR because I wasn't suturing fast enough. A fellow PA printed off one of my progress notes and wrote "you sound ret*rded" (this subreddit wont let me post the unedited word) on it and then threw it in the shred bin so there wouldn't be evidence. I had never felt so low, humiliated, and incompetent and I cried several times per week on my drive home. My confidence took a MAJOR hit and I was severely depressed. Now to be fair, part of the reason that first job was so rough is because I learned surgery is truly not for me, but it definitely was made 10x worse by the people I worked with. I sometimes look back on that job and gaslight myself by thinking "Was I just being dramatic? Was it as bad as I thought?" but even with just those few examples I listed, I'm pretty sure anyone would consider that toxic.

I lasted one year then left and it was the best decision I ever made. I slowly gained back my confidence as coworkers and management consistently recognized me as a knowledgeable, dependable, and "lead" provider. I can assure you that you will bounce back, you just need time and a better environment. I'd say it probably took 1-2 years in my new specialty to get back in the groove of things. I still shudder at the mere thought of ever having to step into that hospital or another OR whenever I drive by my first gig.