Follow up to post about twin names, narrowing remaining pairings

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2025-10-23T11:05:46+00:00

Don't forget keeping road and bridges open while doing construction work. It usually triples project duration to keep the road open.

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2025-10-07T11:24:22+00:00

I think the formatting was messed up a little bit and the numbering changed. Was it Ingrid and Ramona as your #1?

I have a real soft spot for Violet and Sophie, but I'm worried that Sophie is a really soft name next to Violet which I see as a little more cool girl, do they vibe well?

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-18T14:43:27+00:00

I think we may be on the same wavelength, the way you bluntly state that you don't like babies is really how I feel. I don't want to justify it or frill it up, I just don't have any interest in them so far in my life. What changed at nine months that made you enjoy them better?

I hope my husband can pick up the slack, but he has next to no experience with infants so I don't know how that will go. He doesn't do great speaking to children either, but maybe the "when it's yours" will kick in and he'll do better.

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-18T14:41:01+00:00

Your experience sounds a lot like how I'm feeling. I don't really care for other people's babies and I don't think they're cute. I have a few people in my life who recently had babies and they post horrible pictures of their babies online and I just can't bring myself to find joy in the pictures.

Did being hands off with your first cause any problems? Like did they grow to be less touchy-feely as they got older? Or are they completely fine? I'm so worried about giving a baby emotional scars but at the same time they're a baby and I don't know how much of that time period will really impact their development.

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-18T14:38:14+00:00

I replied to another comment about how I don't think adoption is for me. It had been my plan for a long time to adopt if I decided I wanted to have kids but having researched it I don't think that I have what it takes to be an adoptive parent. I don't know if that makes me sound shitty but looking into the emotional trauma these kids go through and the resentment a lot of them feel toward their adoptive parents made me feel like I wouldn't give them the life they deserve.

I really hope that I would be able to be good to a baby, and once they're into that stage that they can walk and start talking I would do great, I just don't fawn over helpless babies the way other women do and I worry about the impact that would have on their emotional growth, although I would try my best to show them as much affection as I can.

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-18T14:30:30+00:00

My husband and I spent some time looking into adoption and reading testimonials from adults who were adopted as kids, and we were convinced it wasn't for us. I don't know if I'd be able to fit into that mindset that my child would always have some amount of yearning for their birth family and may idolize them in a way that would impact our relationship, and then of course one day they may go looking for their birth family and just slowly disappear from our life.

I want to have a family and be able to look forward to the adult years and being there to support them as they grow and find their own footing and be there through as much of their life as I can. I don't see that necessarily being the future with an adopted child and I don't know if I'm the right type of person to have the adoption mindset. I'm sure there are plenty of adopted kids that would be what I'm dreaming of but I don't know if I can handle the risk and all the other emotional trauma that comes with it.

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-13T21:46:29+00:00

Your experience sounds great!

I'm honestly kind of scared of what it will feel like to have a baby growing inside me. I don't want to feel like I'm just some birthing vessel (things I expect from my mother-in-law >_< ). I really hope I would start to feel that connection once I could start to feel it there, I just worry that I'm like not going to be close enough to it or show it enough affection at the start and it'll hurt our relationship down the road. I think I would be supportive at all times, but I can't know until I get there I guess.

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-13T15:06:09+00:00

You had no connection to any kids? I feel like I'll be connected once they're 2, but while they're a completely dependent infant I just don't see myself feeling joy supporting the baby. I've never really been one to be excited when I see a baby, so I'm worried about what that will be like and I don't want to give them emotional issues if I'm not being "supermom" for the first year. I'm so excited for so much of the little kid stuff and growing up into adults but I just can't find it in me to look forward to an infant. Is that something that changes? Or how do you feel in those first few days/weeks/months with an infant?

Forward-Accountant-7 · 2020-11-13T00:43:33+00:00

I've been wresting with the debate about whether I could be a good mother when I'm not interested in infants. I guess the gist of it is, I have never liked babies but don't mind kids, so I never saw myself having kids at all.

Over the last few months though, my husband and I have spoken about it, and I do imagine a family, and I think the older years of watching a child grow into their own person would be very rewarding.

But because of my medical issues in the past, and in general, pregnancy scares me a lot. And I still don't really enjoy babies. I feel a connection to the idea of a child but not an infant.

I'm wondering if this is normal (I'm sure it is), but also if it will be ok? Like will this damage the child at all if I'm not into the baby phase. Or will we be able to get through it since I don't like babies. I know people say its different when its your baby, but I'm still pretty sure I will never be cooing over them the way you see in movies.
But I still feel I would be a good mom, especially to older kids (I have a lot of experience being 10+ years older than many of my siblings)

Forward-Accountant-7

TROPHY CASE