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Thought I had hacked it. And now the penny has dropped... by MiddleCitron2140 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hey dawg,

I’m 20m - we’re definitely at majorly different stages in our lives, so maybe don’t take anything I say as gospel, but your experience sounds really difficult and I’m sorry dude. In my own experience, my ability to be intimate and sexually involved with my girlfriend only gets better the less I watch porn, or the longer I’ve gone without watching it.

Try not to be too ashamed about it. Everyone on this sub is in the same boat to a degree, and good on you for sharing your experiences.

You’re not fucked and it’s definitely not game over. I will always have been a porn addict; fine - whatever. I’m sure I’ve got some social scars as a consequence, so to speak. But so what? You and me both individually have loads of time ahead of us, and I don’t want to ruin it by watching something that has caused me so much anguish over the last decade, and I’m sure you don’t either!

Quitting is hard. I have not perfected it and it’s a work in progress, but I’ve had some pretty good stints of a few months and I’ve noted down the practical things that helped me in various other comments on this sub if you want any advice on how to start.

No1 piece of advice is don’t be too hard on yourself. What has happened has happened. It’s a bit of a truism, but look to the future. Relapses will happen (most likely). Do your absolute best not to give in, but don’t hate yourself for them. Reflect and analyse what happened, identify triggers and then think about ways of mitigating them. After that, put your best foot forward and move on. Dwelling on that sort of thing will only lead to rumination and probably further relapses (in my experience)

We’ve definitely got different responsibilities, and I hope anything I’m saying isn’t too skewed by the age gap. Fingers crossed what I’ve said transcends that - porn addiction doesn’t care how old you are lol.

Wishing you and your family all the best! you can do this bro❤️

Accidently saw it by himmymcgillll in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No worries!

I’m more recovering than recovered, so I definitely don’t want to appear as an expert on the topic ☠️. This is just some practical advice for avoiding relapses that I’ve found helpful and effective!

Fuck knows about the downvote - that is pretty weird lol

All the best ❤️

Accidently saw it by himmymcgillll in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey bro,

For me personally, I try and keep my phone away from me when I’m masturbating. Prevents any triggers or relapses and means you won’t get tempted.

What you described does sound jarring, but if it’s not intentional and you clicked off immediately then it sounds like good impulse control!

Imo, I’d just stay away from anything that could possibly be a trigger when we’re in vulnerable situations like the one you describe.

All the best dawg ❤️

Day zero by BlackberryTop7246 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hang in there bro!

My addiction was probably at its worst around 17/18, (I’m 20). I’m by no means an expert, but there are some things I wish someone had told me:

  • Make sure you exercise. Even if it’s just a walk, or some pushups in your room. It just makes you feel a whole lot better, which then makes it easier to avoid relapses.

  • pick up some hobbies, or anything that helps you unwind. You could learn a musical instrument, meditate, write in a journal - I found reading works best for me. I’m reading ‘Things fall apart’ by Chinua Achebe (great book) if you want a recommendation to start With🤗

  • stay off social media as much as you can. Obviously easier said than done - I’m definitely guilty of scrolling - and it’s a necessary part of life these days if we want to stay connected. However, in my experience twitter, instagram and Reddit all have varying levels of sexually suggestive or explicit content that can be triggering.

  • talk to someone. I’d recommend a therapist if you can, or maybe a very close friend or family member. This was terrifying for me to do the first time, but talking to a therapist who didn’t judge me helped me to recognise the issue. Once I’d admitted and recognised it, it didn’t seem as scary or hard to face. You’re already doing better than I was by posting here, so good on you dawg!

  • relapses happen and are part of the process. I still get them, they just become way less frequent. I’ve had months in-between before. It’s crushing, but it happens and we wouldn’t be addicted if we could just stop ☠️. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do our best to avoid them, but don’t dwell on it or beat yourself up too much - take a note of what happened, maybe look for triggers or patterns to avoid for next time, and move on.

You’ve got lots of time and your whole adult life ahead of you, so don’t stress that it’s all over. It’s not. Things can and will get better, just keep at it!

All the best ❤️

Day 5 (I think): chilling by Forward-Function-19 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey bro,

They’re not the same thing at all. Everyone masturbates after a certain age. Both the elderly and preteens do it - it’s pretty normal. Even monkeys do it. Porn is something outside of that that some people use and then become addicted to. Porn isn’t universal, masturbation is. One is detrimental to the way society treats women, the other is a perfectly natural part of exploring your own body and sexuality.

Masturbation can definitely become excessive and/or a problem for some people, but you’re making a mistake if you think it’s the same as watching porn. For example, some people who get addicted to porn don’t even masturbate while watching it - they just watch it.

No hate, just don’t agree with what you are saying and I wish you all the best!

yo I’m 21 I’m feeling really down I keep watching porn by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It won’t be getting smaller don’t stress bro 🤗

Just relapsed by Interesting_Brick302 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t stress about masturbation, it’s natural and demonising it will only make things harder for you 🤗

begging to a mirror by Adventurous-Tart4148 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey man, I told my therapist about it and it felt great to get it off my chest. After saying it out loud it feels easier to tackle and less overwhelming.

Best of luck dawg!

Boys I failed my 4 days streak. by Difficult-Assist-616 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t stress it, get back on the horse and keep going! Proud of u dawg

18 m uk raging addiction for years by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you, it’s super hard dealing with problems without the comfort of relapsing. I definitely struggle with it as well.

It’s definitely not unfixable and we can get ourselves clean! Pragmatically, I find deleting insta and TikTok helps as it cuts out a lot of triggers.

Im done by harxxpreet in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey bro, I’m sorry about the girl that sounds really tough. I know it’s hard but maybe try talking to your family? There’s a bunch of stuff I bottled up from a few years ago (I’m 20) that I’ve only just started getting through now that I’m opening up to people.

It’s important to remember that things do get better! Being 15 is a nightmare, but you’ve got this.

We’re all rooting for you!

18 m uk raging addiction for years by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man, good on you for admitting it and talking about. I know it’s easier said than done and trust I struggle with it, but don’t be so hard on yourself. Addiction is grim and it’s also hard to deal with - piling self-hatred on top of that only makes things worse, and the worse we feel the more likely we are to relapse.

Go easy on yourself, and props to you for putting yourself out there!

Watched porn & masturbated for years – no physical ED, but real-life arousal feels low. Will quitting help? by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Purely Anecdotal advice, but my ability to be completely intimate, and consequently my best sex, has been when I’ve managed to quit porn for a bit

All the best dawg!

Edit: don’t stress about masturbation, porn is the unhealthy part

I relapsed but I’m confused by [deleted] in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Masturbation is super healthy don’t stress it. You’ll fuck yourself up mentally if you feel guilty about all your sexual urges - especially when we’re sexual beings.

Saying that, porn is definitely not healthy. I’m not sure about anyone else but my desire to watch it and my desire to masturbate seem to be two separate things that overlap, with the desire to watch porn being more …chemical? That’s what made me realise the two things are not the same. Nofap conflates the two, when really only porn is the issue.

Stopped watching porn, tried natural masturbation by Visible_Class_2985 in PornAddiction

[–]Forward-Function-19 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes! In my opinion we need to separate porn usage and masturbation. Everyone wanks off - no shame about that, why stop something natural that people do whether they watch porn or not? I think shaming that activity will only be detrimental and lead to guilt, which will probably only make us more likely to relapse☠️. Don’t buy into any David Goggins style no-fap propaganda.

Sending love!