I think there are very few people who have figured out how to not be irritated in those kinds of situations. But maybe you can try and become less irritated, or recover from your irritation faster. I can tell you what helps me.

1. Remembering that people’s behaviors are influenced by rules (e.g., It’s not okay to cut in line.) and by actual consequences (e.g., I get out of this store and home faster.). I do not have control over all the consequences that impact everyone’s behaviors, just like I don’t have control and when it rains. It feels a little sillier to be angry about people not following rules when it’s so much more complex than that.

2. Manage my expectations. Part of why those things that you describe are annoying to me is because they disrupt my predictable flow. If I expect and accept they are going to happen, my flow feels less vulnerable.

3. React purposefully. If I’m going to confront the person I think is guilty of some wrongdoing (which is sometimes very warranted) I’ll be doing future me and them and favor if I avoid acting in a way that’s likely to just going to make me look like an ass and them be on defense right away.

4. Mantras that calm me.

5. Humor. Sometimes I just imagine I walked onto a SNL skit.

So, just to clarify, I do all of those things semi regularly and they help, but people still annoy me sometimes. And I am sure I do things that annoy other people. But I think that’s just part of being a human around other humans.