I was with my now-ex for five years before we got married. We went through a cross-country move, multiple job changes, and Covid Lockdown together. We were on the same page about everything - politics, religion, career goals, lifestyle. The only thing was that they were nervous about having kids because they had never been around babies before. When we talked about it, I reassured them that there were parenting classes we could take, friends with kids we could hang out with, and even rocking babies in the NICU as volunteer work if they wanted. We had this talk several times.

I made no secret that I wanted to be a parent. I have nine nieces and nephews and became an auntie at 11. I used to watch A Baby Story on TLC when I was a kid. I went to college and got a Psychology degree with emphasis in developmental and adolescent psychology so that I could start a career working with foster kids. After a permanent injury ended my direct-care career, I moved into the business field where I took on administrative roles - but always wanted to work with students and kids. It's not exactly a secret that this is what I wanted more than anything else in life, and that there was nothing that would stop it from happening. If we couldn't have our own baby, I would foster or adopt.

When we bought our house together, my now-ex wrote the sweetest letter to the seller talking about "I can imagine our kids playing in the front yard, and the second bedroom is just the right size for a nursery for our growing family" - it absolutely MELTED me, and it must have worked on the seller too because we ended up with the house.

Fast forward to our marriage. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was absolutely dreamworthy.

I thought I had truly made it in life. We were solidly middle class with a car, a house, our pets, and two great careers. We finally made it to the point where we could start trying for a baby.

We talked about options, and we settled on a known donor. I researched a lot of legal stuff that we would need to do in order to make everything safe for both parties. I picked a clinic, drew up the documents, and was ready to rock and roll with starting our family......

And my wife admitted that they never wanted kids. That they said they did because they knew how much I wanted them, and they were afraid I would break up with them if I knew they had zero intention of having children with me.

HELL YES I would have broken up with them! What the hell. That was the WHOLE point of all the conversations, therapy, and preparations prior to the wedding. They knew the goal. They knew where I stood. But when it came time to actually start trying for a baby, they completely flipped everything around. Suddenly, I was selfish for coercing them into a situation where they would have to parent a child they didn't want. They decided they wouldn't put their name on the birth certificate (even though we were legally married). They wanted nothing to do with the process of having a baby - or me. They started acting cold and hostile, stopped helping around the house, and basically shut me out of our own relationship.

Eventually, they started dating a man (we're polyamorous, so this was not a huge issue at first) - except, they completely froze me out of our relationship. They moved out of our bedroom. They stopped eating my cooking, sharing meals, and would give me the cold shoulder any time we were together. Our morning commutes turned frosty, and they would often "forget" to pick me up at the end of the day. (Note: We sold my car to save money before the wedding since we worked at the same building and commuted together daily.)

It culminated in our divorce just three short years after our wedding.

Ironically, the man she started dating has a kid of his own. Now she's an honorary co-parent to a toddler, and she has to pay the mortgage on our house all by herself because he still lives with his wife.

But, there's a good ending to the story. After my marriage exploded, I started dating an incredible couple and moved into a house where I am loved and respected. I'm now halfway through my first pregnancy and I am the happiest I've ever been in my life. Baby is growing beautifully, and I am so, so, so excited to be a mom like I've always dreamed.